V: (The Second Generation) by Kenneth Johnson

  This is what the latest remake of V should have been. In fact, this was what the remake would have been until Warner Bros decided to remake the series completely. Nothing against the newer V series, I did like it and was bummed when it was cancelled.

  

   But this version of V is in a word awesome. It's pays tribute to the show's history and manages to create new story lines that keep the story fresh. First of all, it did what the new series did not, bring back all the old characters not just Diana. In fact, Diana barely came back, the remake flanderized her and wasted the talents of the phenomenal Jane Badler. 

  The novel takes place 20 years after the original series ended. The Visitors are in full control of the world and having been slowly draining the world's water, turning San Francisco into a desert wasteland. The Resistance has been almost destroyed in the Great Purge of '99, leaving only a few left. Things change when a new race of aliens arrives to help the humans take back their planet.

  Starting off, most of the old favorites are back. Mike, Juliet, Willy and Harmony, Robert, Martin, and Diana are all back. There is also the introduction of the second generation who are well written and fit seamlessly with the older series. Particular favorites are Emma and Nathan, former Visitor sympathizers turned vigilantes. And Ruby, Juliet's scrappy half-breed daughter, who avoids being a stereotypical Mary Sue like a lot of child characters turn out to be.

  I wasn't too crazy about the newer alien race; they were rather bland with no real back story. In fact, most of their story was observations on how hot the alien babes were. If I wanted to read alien porn, I would. My biggest quibble with the book was the absence of Robin and her half-breed child, Elizabeth.

  Robin and Elizabeth were an integral part of not only the original mini-series but also the following television series. The alien birth scene is probably one of the most memorable in Sci-Fi history and they don't even warrant a mention. At least scribble a couple of lines about them dying in the purge or whatever. To add insult to injury, Robin's father is a major character in this novel and all he utters is some throwaway line about Mike saving his daughters, just insulting.

 Still this is a great novel, if you loved V or even just love a good Sci-Fi novel, then check it out. You won't be disappointed. 

31 Days Of Horror #15: Slaughter High

   Trust me the poster is the coolest thing this film has to offer. There are some movies where you root for the killer. Not because you feel sympathy for him or understand him but because his victims are all pretentious a-holes. They are so annoying that you do not want them to exist fictional or otherwise.

   We meet school nerd, Marty played by Simon Scuddamore. Sadly, Scuddamore committed suicide shortly after the film wrapped. Like all '80s nerds he is tormented by the popular kids on a daily basis.
 
   As far as bullies in an '80s teen movies go, these guys are the worst. They stab him in the crotch with a javelin. They give him a poison laced joint. And finally they cause poor Marty to be scarred by acid and leave school. The budding sociopaths move on with their lives.

    Years later, the gang is mysteriously invited to a reunion. Every character in this films is an idiot. When your class reunion only consists of the people who disfigured a boy all those years ago, somethings up. This brings us to one of the film's most awesome kills, a beer that blows up someone's stomach.

   The gang wises up to the fact that they are trapped in a school with a killer. So they do what comes natural to stupid people in horror films, they split up. And have sex and take long luscious baths and generally just be dumb asses. This just gives Marty more opportunities for ingenious kills like and acid bathtub or an electric bed. Marty is the most likable character in the film.

   Then something terrible happens we find out that it was all just a dream. Marty is in an institution conjuring up elaborate fantasies about revenge. This is a bummer, these characters were awful, awful, people. Death is the kindest thing Marty could do for them.

    But the tacked on sequel ending had Marty killing a doctor and nurse and possibly escaping the hospital. Let's hope that little scamp makes all his fantasies come true. I know I sound psycho but watch this movie. Trust me you'll hate the other characters as much as I do.

31 Days Of Horror #14: Cheerleader Camp

A.K.A Bloody Pom Poms

  For starters I love this poster it reminds me of an R.L. Stine cover. Cheerleader Camp is one of those so bad it's good kind of movies.

   The films stars Betsy Russell, a veteran actress of bad '80s movies such as Avenging Angel, Private School, and Tomboy. She plays Alison, an All American good girl cracking under the strain of being perfect. She and her bevy of bimbos are attending Camp Hurrah for the summer. Unfortunately nobody in a hockey mask comes to put us out of our misery.

    Alison begins being plagued by hallucinations and bad dreams. This stress keeps her from knocking boots with the dreamy Leif Garrett who finds other pom poms to shake. Soon the bodies start piling up and Alison is unsure if she's a killer or just a scapegoat for someone else.

    The killer is predictable but not because of a bad script. If you watch the trailer on Youtube, you will see every single character who dies. It's called process of elimination not that the script tries too hard to retain any sense of mystery. The movie is too busy devoting it's time to jiggly, bouncy breasts and bad dialogue.

    The ending is actually good with Alison being convinced that she is the killer. The real killer dances in victory as Alison heads off to a future of  shock therapy and Xanax.

    But as far as '80s slasher films go this is still pretty decent. If you can sit through a Jason film then you can definitely appreciate this one.

31 Days Of Horror #3: Hello Mary Lou Prom Night 2

    For this entry I'd thought I'd look to the cinematic style of our good friends from the Great White North: Canada. Mary Lou is an in name only sequel to the '80s horror flick, Prom Night. In truth I like this one better and appreciate it not keeping in touch with the original.

   
In my opinion the original Prom Night was a snore, a tepid whodunit that wasted the talents of poor Jamie Lee Curtis and Leslie Nielsen. What can you say about a film that sets it final chase scene to disco of all things. Mary Lou went supernatural and improved itself over it's predecessor.

    The film opens in the '50s where we meet bad girl Mary Lou Mahoney. The only thing that that Mary Lou wants in life is that coveted prom queen title. Give the girl a break, this was before Woman's Lib. A prank played by a jilted lover goes horrible wrong and Mary Lou is burned alive.

   The film fast forwards thirty years ahead when highschooler Vicki finds Mary Lou's prom attire in a storage room. The discovery releases Mary Lou's vengeful spirit who tortures and eventually possesses Vicki. Mary Lou sets out to avenge her death and don her crown.

   Mary Lou is not bad for a B movie horror. There are few slow suspense scenes that hinder most slashers of that era. The kills are pretty good, from possessing a computer and electrocuting  a teen to stabbing a priest with his own cross. The hardest thing an actress can do is the possession storyline, but Wendy Lyon pulls it off. She channels Mary Lou's voice and movements with surprising ease.

 
Not too much gore but there is a particularly squicky scene where the possessed Vicki attempts to make out with her father, luckily it's a short scene.  There are some hysterical one liners most of them uttered by Mary Lou. The ending was actually kind of tender with Mary Lou confronting the kid who inadvertently ended her life. The movie does lose points for the tacked on sequel hook at the very end though. It also loses points for the senseless murder of a pregnant girl.

 Most of the actors are unknowns safe for '80s bad ass Michael Ironside who plays a principal and father of Vicki's boyfriend, Craig. I don't really mention Craig simply due to the fact that he had the screen presence of a Pop Tart. He would later utilize that talent by playing a zombie in the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake.

  Still, this is a film I would recommend for '80s horror fans and luckily made the transition to DVD so it will be easy to find. If you like the original Prom Night then you might want to avoid as it is a completely different movie.

31 Days Of Horror #1: Trick Or Treat

    Welcome boys and ghouls as you all know I am a horror movie fanatic. In tribute to my favorite holiday Halloween, I will cover one horror per day until the big day. First on the chopping block is the 1986 lost classic, Trick Or Treat.

    This movie was released on DVD in 2002 and quickly fell out of print. Unfortunately music copyright laws are preventing this film from being re released. Which is a shame since this is one of the most awesome horror films to come out of the '80s.

    We meet metal head outcast Eddie (Marc Price) who is mourning the loss of his idol, Sammi Curr. A sympathetic DJ gives him a rare final record of Sammi's to be played on Halloween. The spirit of Sammi uses the record to contact Eddie, helping him exact revenge on his high school bullies. But when Sammi's plans progress from pranks to murder, it's up to Eddie to stop his idol before it's too late.

     The movie avoids the pratfalls of just hiring pretty people who can't act, something that plagued most '80s horror films. Marc Price best known as Skippy from Family ties sheds the nerd image and puts in a likable performance. Doug Savant also plays against type as the main bully. The film is blessed by two metal gods, Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy is hysterical in a cameo as a priest decrying rock n roll. And he's oddly intelligible to boot. The actor who plays Sammi Curr, Tony Fields puts in a pretty scary performance. Not bad for a former Solid Gold dancer.

    What's impressive about Trick or Treat is it's pacing, there's very few slow or pointless scenes. It also with the exception of one scene avoids the obligatory horror movie sex scenes. The kills are quite creative, one scene consists of Sammy blowing up another singer's head via microphone. The singer is played by Kevin Yagher who also did the special effects. He would later go on to providing special effects for Freddy Krueger and the Crypt Keeper.

     If you are an '80s, horror or metal fan you must seek out this movie, it will be hard due to it's unavailability but worth it.

   

     

Retro Flashback: Dance Til Dawn

For starters, this has to one of the worst DVD covers I have ever seen. This screams bad photo shop in large, pink, neon letter. Dance 'Til Dawn is from the same era as Camp Cucamonga where networks crammed their latest and greatest stars into TV movies for our amusement.

The plot of the film consists of a group of students and some parents on the evening of their prom. The film stars Christina Applegate as Patrice, a snooty princess who is determined to make prom the best night ever. Check out future Friends star, Matthew Perry as her much beleaguered boyfriend, Roger.


Alyssa Milano plays Shelley who is dumped by her sex-crazed boyfriend (Brian Bloom) the day before prom. Determined not to let anyone find out, she winds up hiding out with the school geek, Dan. Dan is hiding from his father (Alan Thicke) who is under the mistaken impression that his son is popular.


Alyssa Milano was very hard to buy in this role. She didn't even look old enough for high school, let alone being a senior. It is even harder to accept when she interacts with her older looking cast members.

Tracy Gold plays Angela, a nerdy girl with over protective parents. She is asked to the prom by Shelley's ex boyfriend, Dan, who believes that she will be an easy conquest. Unbeknown to her, her parents (played by Kelsey Grammer and Edie McClurg) are following her and watching her every move.

The movie is a typical and predictable '80s fare. All the good kids get their happy endings and the bad kids get their comeuppance. The adults don't really seem to have a place in the film and it would've been a better idea to keep it the parent free haven most '80s films were.

This film is still entertaining and a must watch for fans of the '80s.

Retro Flashback: Cocktail

Sometime in 1987, corporate bigwigs desperately try to think up a vehicle for the great Tom Cruise

Bigwig 1#: We need something flashy, something hip.

Big Wig 2#:Maybe he could be a soldier in the army.

Bigwig 1#: Been there, done that.

Bigwig 2#: Maybe he could be a wannabe ad exec

Bigwig 1# Too Wall Street

Bigwig 2#: Maybe he could be a bartender with some flair.

Bigwig 1#: Sold!

Cocktail brings us back to a better time in the '80s when a bad movie was the most embarrassing thing Tom Cruise could do. Tom plays Brian Flanagan, a former soldier who wished to become a marketing exec.

After being rejected by just about everyone, he decides to take some business courses. Unfortunately they are taught by a professor that inexplicably hates his students. This makes Brian lose faith in his dream: to create a chain of bars that could be put in every mall. Bars in a mall? I know they exist but seriously who goes to the mall to get hammered?

Desperate for money, he takes a job as a bartender working alongside Douglas Coughlin, the Yoda of the bar world. Brian and Douglas have way too much chemistry in this film. They should have irradiated the female love interests and turned it into a Brokeback Bartender scenario.

At first, Brian is a mess but there's a certain spark to him and he doesn't get fired. In fact, he becomes one of the greatest flair bartenders who ever lived. He and Douglas are so great that other bars are desperate to hire them. New York City must not have had talented bartenders since people had to go to dive bars to poach them/

But of course there has to be the obligatory betrayal scene. For some inane reason or another, Douglas seduces a girl that Brian barely cares about. This hurts Brian enough to pack up his hippy hippy shake and hightails it to Jamaica.

There he meets Jordan, played by the terminally adorable Elizabeth Shue. All it takes is a few kisses and Kokomo and the two are madly in love. Here he comes to wreck the day! Yes, Douglas reappears now married to a hot, rich, woman. He sneers at Brian dating a poor, cute, student when the island is crawling with Botox beauties.

Brian, who left town when a girl he barely liked cheated on him wastes no time cheating on Jordan, who he claims to love. Jordan finds out and leaves and Brian returns to New York with his new sugar Mommy.

When he realizes that all he is is a pampered boy toy, he dumps his sugar Mommy and tries to make amends with Jordan. It turns out Jordan is rich, pregnant, and not interested. He skulks over to Douglas' bar and asks for a job. Unfortunately, Douglas is a drunken mess and Brian ends up having to take home his wife.

The wife promptly comes on to Brian but now he has learned a larger lesson in life. He returns to Douglas who has committed suicide. Realizing that life is too short, he rescues Jordan from her penthouse prison and finally gets the bar he's always wanted.

They live happily ever after until Brian discovers Scientology....

If you could rewrite any piece of fiction, what would it be and why?

My choice would be The Breakfast Club. Don't get me wrong, I love this movie and have seen it many times. Still the ending has always ticked me off.

The whole underlying theme of the film is self-acceptance. The film tells us that you don't have to what your friends and family want you to be. Be yourself, the film screams at us from every corner.

So how does this movie end? They take the cool freaky fringe chick, Allison (Ally Sheedy) and change her. The popular girl gives her some clothes and a preppie makeover and throw her into the arms of the jock character. A character who showed little attraction to her until she starts looking like everyone else.

What would have been so wrong about the jock accepting her as she was and celebrating it? The ending strikes me as something the studio wrangled together for a happier, more conventional ending

Endless Love

It wasn't until I was 16, that I discovered that Endless Love was more than just a cheesy pop ballad. It was a cheestastic '80s film based on a rather disturbing novel by Scott Spencer. Anyone who is planning on reading this book be warned, some scenes especially the love scenes are rather detailed.

For such a bad film, it boasts a surprising case of stars. Brooke Shields, James Spader, Tom Cruise, Ian Zeiring, and Jami Gertz. It is directed by Franco Zeffrelli who directed 1967's Romeo and Juliet.

The film opens with young lovers Jade and David walking inside a human heart. Well, actually a replica of a human heart inside a museum. We later see them cuddling in the planetarium, Jade asks David what he would do if she died. He'd die too is his answer.

A teacher spots David and tells him to get lost, it turns out David crashed a school field trip in order to be with Jade. That evening, David clad in his father's tuxedo shows up for dinner at Jade's house. While David's socialist parents ignore him, Jade's family welcomes him with open arms.

Jade's parents are your typical laid back '80s parents, they allow the kids to do whatever they want. Some friends of Jade's older brother Keith (Spader) show up unannounced with booze and musical instruments. They are welcomed with open arms.

This is Ian Ziering who would later play Steve Saunders on 90210.

David and Jade are fooling around upstairs and are caught by Keith who is less than happy with his sister. David is touched when Jade refers to him as family. Meanwhile the college kids are lighting up and having a grand old time. Jade's parents jam and smoke weed right along with them.

Things quiet down as Keith's girlfriend sings (what else) Endless Love. David makes eyes at Jade while she sits on her father's lap. Eventually Jade remembers that she's supposed to be dating David and slowly, insufferably slowly, goes to him.

David pretends to leave after the party, but sneaks back in. Meanwhile Jade's mom passes up sex with her drunken husband in order to read Russian literature. (Are there any scenes in this film that have a point?)

Jade slinks on down to David while an even more insipid instrumental version of Endless Love plays. (Twenty minutes into the film and this is third time we've heard this song.) Jade and David proceed to make sweet love down by the fire.....place. Jade's mother actually stands there and watches them go at it. (Ewwww!)

David goes duck hunting with Keith and Jade's father, Hugh. David tries to buddy up with Keith who then delivers on of the best lines in the film "Just because you're f***ing my sister doesn't make you family." Back at the house Hugh catches David naked in Jade's bedroom. Jade is totally nonchalant about it, but David freaks out.

Hugh is also freaking out but Ann, Jade's mother, tells that it's his fault for being so open and permissive. He wants to know how she manages to sleep or study with David around all the time. Jade begins to fall asleep in class.

We rehash the same old scenes, Keith hates David, Jade and David make love, Endless Love plays for the fourth and fifth time. After an extremely awkward love scene, Jade begs David to let her sleep but he can't leave her.

Jade is caught stealing her Hugh's sleeping pills and becomes hysterical, crying about not getting any sleep. Hugh tells David that he doesn't want him seeing Jade for a month. David refuses to go and demands to talk to Jade. Ann convinces him to agree to Hugh's demands.



David overhears Keith say that Jade broke up with him. One of his friends (Tom Cruise) suggests setting a small fire outside their house and then put it out thus becoming a hero. David sits in his room blaring Kiss' I Was Made For Lovin' You and staring at Jade's photo.

To the strains of Blondie's Heart of Glass, David stalks down the street to Jade's house. (Why did this film torture us with Endless Love when it could have been rocking the disco the whole time?) There is a party going on at Jade's house and a devastated David sees her talking to another guy. He tries to call Jade from a pay phone but no one will answer.

Of course the only way to get your girlfriend's parent to accept you is to set a small fire outside their house. The fire of course quickly burns out of control and David is unable to put it out. He manages to wake up everyone and get them out (In the book the whole family was high on LSD when the fire started.) Keith knocks out David and Hugh is forced to carry him from the burning building. Inappropriately during the fire scenes another instrumental version of Endless Love plays.

David is convicted of arson, he is sent to a psychiatric hospital and banned from ever contacting Jade or her family. David is haunted by visions of Jade and sends multiple letters to her, never receiving an answer. He doesn't know that the letters are being confiscated by his doctor.

David begs his parents to get him released and they stupidly agree. He's free but still not allowed to contact Jade or even leave town. Jade and her family have moved to New York and David's dad encourages him to forget her. He then drops the bomb that he is in love with another woman and has left David's mom.

Hugh learns that David has been released and is furious. He threatens to kill David if he ever comes near him and his family. David promptly leaves for New York and tracks down Ann. Ann is less than enthused to see him. She and Hugh have divorced in the two years after the fire.

They go out to dinner and then back to her place. She recounts the time that she saw Jade and David making love. Apparently it was a life changing event for her. She admits that she made love to her husband that night and imagined it was him (Double ewwwww). She comes on to him but he pushes her away. He can't make love to anyone but Jade.

He finds out that Jade is now in Vermont and decides to board a bus later that afternoon. As he walks down the street, he is spotted by Hugh. He chases after him but is struck by a taxi cab. David is too upset to catch the bus and goes back to Ann's apartment. Keith is there and he tells David that Jade hates him. Ann begs them to stop fighting.

Ann offers to arrange a meeting for him and Jade but he refuses. He hands her a stack of letters he never got to mail. He spies Jade getting on the elevator but doesn't go after her. David's parents worry when he doesn't return home.

Jade meets David at a hotel room and you'll never guess in a million years what song starts playing. She admits to reading all the letters and worries that she ruined his life. She begs David to let her go. She tries to leave, he throws her on the bed, and then she admits that she still loves him. Sorry, that is not love that is dysfunction. They indulge in yet another awkward love scene.

The next morning, Keith calls the room and asks them to come down to the lobby. Apparently Hugh's girlfriend thinks she remembers him being at the scene of the accident. David admits the truth to a horrified Jade. The guy burnt down her house, she should know that sanity has nothing to do with her love for her. Keith beats him up and the cops take him away.

The movie ends with Jade visiting David in the mental hospital and the song Endless Love rears it's ugly head one last time.

Next Up: How can Mariah Carey screw up a movie about Mariah Carey. You'll find out in Glitter.

Satisfaction (A.K.A Girls Of Summer)

This movie is only for '80s movie fans, chick flick lovers, and die hard fans of Julia Roberts. This isn't a bad film, it just suffers from some bad moments.

The film centers around the teenage rock group, Mystery. Remember that name oddly enough for a movie about a rock group that name is hardly mentioned. The band is headed by Jennie Lee (Justine Bateman), a supposedly independent woman who is anything but. Daryl (Julia Roberts) who is referred to as a slut but really just wants to marry and settle down. There is Mooch (Trini Alvarado) the stereotypical bad girl thief. And Billie, a perpetual stoner and klepto. Rounding off the cast are Scott Coffey and Liam Neeson, who are simply there to be the dose of testosterone.

Despite how limited her character is, Julia Roberts is wonderful. She brings a spark to the screen and made even the most lamest lines somehow likable. Liam Neeson just looks bored throughout the film, you almost think that he wandered on the wrong set and is just going through the motions. Sadly he has absolutely no chemistry with Bateman and their great romance is kind of a bore.

There are lots of cheesy 80s montages, I can't believe they wore that outfits, and some pretty decent soundtrack choices. Unfortunately, since this is a movie about a band, we have to put up with the music mostly being by them. Since Justine Bateman's character is the lead singer, we are forced to listen to her dull and monotonic singing.

What is odd is that Britta Phillips actually can sing and play. She was the singing voice of Jem and in the recent years has cut an album. When her character sings, it is awesome but really further showcases the badness of Bateman.

But still the movie has some good points that are make up for the badness and if you are any fan of the aforementioned movies then definitely give this a go.

You can view the trailer here

Madonna: Innocence Lost

More like the $1.50 lost renting this DVD. Heck in when this thing aired on Fox in 1994, I could have been pissed off for free. I didn't know there was a Madonna television movie, so being a Madonnaphile I was excited to see this.

First and foremost, it is asinine to try to do any kind of Madonna film in two hours or an hour and thirty minutes sans commercials. It comes off as rushed and doesn't really delve into Madonna's past. It leaps over some major key moments from that time period that could made the film more interesting.

Did we really need to know how close Madonna was with her first manager. Granted I loved seeing Wendy Malick in the film but her character seemed like emotionless filler. The grunty, sweaty, gratuitous sex scenes were also unnecessary. We get it Madonna had sex, she even wrote a book about it. And the title, Innocence Lost, what a joke. She is potrayed as cold and calculating, using sex to get her way. Where was this supposed innocence?

What about showing her auditioning for Fame? Maybe explain the story behind that wacky (and not suitable for work) student film she did? Maybe the story behind a Certain Sacrifice, a film that Madonna fought like hell to keep from being released.

The actress Terumi Matthews is apparently no stranger to playing Madonna. Her IMDB page lists her as playing Madonna in the Dennis Rodman television movie Bad As I Wanna Be. The problem though while she shares a certain resembelence to the singer, she simply can't pass as Madonna. She looks suprisingly like Gloria Estefan which made it harder for me to accept her as the singer.

This movie is to be avoided, especially if you are a hard core Madonna fan.

Sweet Valley Reissues D.O.A

Yes, the rather questionable reissue of the Sweet Valley series has ceased publication. The series was supposed to span the first twelve books but have ceased after #6. Most likely due to lack of interest.

I have not read the books but have been following the changes via other people's blogs. I was disappointed. A lot of unnecessary changes in order to try to woo the younger readers in. Where does it say that a book series from the '80s cannot keep a newer generation from being interested without revamping it?

Imagine a reissue of Little Women where Jo gets mad at Amy for throwing her laptop in the fire. Makes you shudder, doesn't it?

Finally Someone Said It........

I mentioned this in my moral ambiguity in the '80s article. I am tickled pink that Robot Chicken covered this for one of their skits.

Top 10 Best Movie Kisses

I was watching Princess Bride on cable a few days ago and while the movie touted it as the best kiss of all time, I disagreed. While it was a nice kissing scene, I couldn't say it was the greatest movie kiss of all time. These are my picks.


10. Empire Records 1995: Corey (Liv Tyler) goes up to the roof to profess her love for AJ (Johnny Whitworth.) He in turn surprises Corey with the news that he's going to attend art school near Harvard so they can be together. This kiss was a sweet little ending to a pretty cute film. Screencap Courtesy Of http://www.deepdarkdepp.com/



9. Sweet Home Alabama 2002: Melanie (Reese Witherspoon) is moments away from marrying Andrew (Patrick Dempsey) when she realizes she is still in love with her ex husband
Jake (Josh Lucas). She breaks it off with Andrew and meets up with Jake on the beach. In the midst of a rainstorm they duo reunite.

Screencap courtesy of Me.



8. Gone With The Wind 1939: After successfully getting Scarlett (Vivien Leigh) and company out of Atlanta, Rhett (Clark Gable) decides to join the soldiers in the final battle against the North. Scarlett is upset as she was banking on Rhett taking over and getting them safely back to Tara. Unaware if he will live of die Rhett plants a kiss on Scarlett.

Screencap courtesy of http://fan.geekish.net/gwtw


7. 13 Going On 30 2004: Awkward teen Jenna Rink (Jennifer Garner/Christa B Allen) is transported into the future into her 30 year old self. She learns a lot of life lessons including just how much childhood best friend Matt (Mark Ruffalo/Sean Marquette) means to her. Granted a second chance Jenna has her dream wedding to Matt and lives happily ever after.

Screencaps Courtesy of http://amazing-again.com/13goingon30/

6. The Breakfast Club 1985: 5 students from different cliques get to know one another during a Saturday detention. The Princess Claire (Molly Rignwald) gives into her attraction to bad boy Bender (Judd Nelson) and surprises him with a kiss. "Why did you do that?" he asked to which she replied "Because I knew you wouldn't."

Screencap courtesy of http://www.leavemethewhite.com

5. Titanic 1996: Rich girl Rose (Kate Winslet) is on her way back to New York via the Titanic. Trapped in an arranged marriage she meets and falls for Jack (Leonardo Dicaprio) a poor but adventurous artist. After a fun filled day together they share a kiss on the bow of the Titanic. This scene is oft mocked and overused but I still like it.

Screencap courtesy of http://www.leavemethewhite.com


4. St. Elmo's Fire 1985: This film follows the life and times of 7 college buddies their first year out of college. Law student Kirby (Emilio Estevez) becomes reacquainted with Dale (Andie MacDowell), a woman he shared one date with freshman year. Kirby turns his life upside down trying to impress her. After following her up to a ski cabin he becomes stranded and is forced to spend the night with Dale and her boyfriend. The next morning Dale tries to let down Kirby easy but he plants a kiss on her that makes her look as if she's changed her mind.

Screencap courtesy of Me.


3. Pretty Woman 1990: Heartless corporate raider Louis meets Hooker With A Heart Of Gold Vivian one night. Vivian agrees to be Louis's companion for the week at the bargain price of 3000 dollars. However the duo soon fall for one another. On his way to return to New York Louis changes his mind and arrives at Vivian's apartment where the two kiss on the fire escape.

Screencap courtesy of Me

2. The Virgin Suicides 1999: High school Lothario Trip (Josh Hartnett) falls head over heels for Lux (Kristen Dunst). After being forced to spend a boring evening watching television with her entire family Trip is set to leave. All of a sudden Lux leaps into his car giving him a passionate kiss before running off.

Screencaps courtesy of http://screenmusings.org/


1. Back To The Future 1985: 80s teen Marty McFly (Michael J Fox) accidentally goes back in time and interferes with the meeting of his parents. Faced with the possibility of fading out of existence he tries to encourage his nerdy father George (Crispin Glover) to chase after his mother (Lea Thompson) who has fallen for Marty. Moments before Marty fades away George gets the courage to kiss Lorraine and makes history right.

Screencap courtesy of http://www.denying-insanity.com/movies.php

Lost Boys 2: The Tribe

As a horror fan I should hate this movie. As an '80s movie fan I should hate this film. As a Lost Boys fan...you get the point. But I am also a lover of cheesy horror films that don't take themselves seriously and Lost Boys 2 is just that.

The film picks up an indeterminate amount of years after the first film. Former surf champ Chris Emerson and his teenage sister Nicole (Autumn Reeser) move to Luna Beach after the death of their parents. Chris meets Shane (played by the extremely luscious Angus Sutherland) another surf champ who dropped out of sight. Shane sets his sights on Nicole and begins to seduce her into his vampire coven. Chris teams up with vampire hunter and board shaper Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman reprising his role from the first movie) and goes to the brink in order to save her.

The film has some good and some bad points. The good: Corey Feldman is awesome to watch in this film, and eerily enough looks almost exactly how he looked in the first film. The story is engaging enough and Angus Sutherland literally steals the film. Kudos for bringing back Gerald McCann's Cry Little Sister as well. It's a wonderful song and makes more sense in a film about a brother trying to save his sister.

The bad: While viewers do find out what happened to Edgar's brother Alan and Sam Emerson there is no word on what happened to the rest of the Emerson clan or Star and Laddie for that matter. The film's official website claims that Chris and Nicole are cousins of the Emersons but this is never mentioned in the movies. The movie relied a little too much on sex scenes and a ran way to long police chase scene that simply weren't necessary for the film. Also unnecessary was the character of Chris and Nicole scatter-brained aunt who is pretty much a one note joke that wears thin very quickly.

If they really wanted a weird family member why not have their aunt be the mom from the first film Lucy. It'd be fun to have her essentially play the same role that her on screen dad played in the first film. The seemingly clueless character who knows more than she lets on.

Lost Boys 2 would have done better as a stand alone film. It's a decent story with a great cast. Corey Feldman is a welcome return and we even get blessed with a cameo by Tom Savini who is all kinds of awesome. This is definitely a film to veg out to.

Unleashing The Cheese On A New Generation

If you were a preteen or teenage girl in the 1980s, you probably have heard of Sweet Valley High. Well it looks like Random House is dusting off the series and updating it in an attempt to woo teenagers back into the trials and tribulations of the blonde and perfect Wakefield twins.

The updates according to a letter from Random House, will have Elizabeth as a the editor of the school website not a school paper, the twins will drive a red Wrangler not the iconic red Fiat, and the twins will be a perfect size 4 not a 6. As a perfect size 9, I'm a little offended that they felt the need to change that detail. Teenagers have enough body issues as is.

The most interesting change is the model who will be the new face of the twins on the covers. It's Leven Rambin, who currently stars on All My Children. Leven is no stranger to playing identical characters she plays an autistic girl named Lily and her older lookalike half sister Ava.

It should be interesting to see how a new generation will react to these books. If you want some snarky takes on Sweet Valley you should visit 1Bruce1 or The Dairi Burger, they are pretty hysterical.