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Sunday, September 29, 2013

The Contractor

 I think Danny Trejo may have Nicolas Cage syndrome. Nic Cage Syndrome is where an actor that has proven he can carry blockbuster films still takes any crap role that shows up in his inbox. Mr. Trejo, you are Machete for Christ sake. Stop doing these awful movies.

 The Contractor is your typical worker with an axe to grind picture. We meet the bland Chase family consisting of lawyer dad, sickly teenage sprite and frigid bitch mom. They need the kitchen remodeled quickly in time for a big fundraiser. But of course Daddy Dearest is a cheapskate looking for the lowest bidder, enter Danny Trejo.

  I get it, we need a convenient reason for Danny Trejo's character to be present in this movie. But the reason is totally convoluted and is out of character for the father. This is a guy who just bought this ridiculously swank mansion and on a whim bought his daughter a horse. We're supposed to buy this cheapskate routine?

  This movie proceeds strictly by numbers. Danny charms the pants off the family, frigid bitch gets uncomfortable with him and has him fired, and of course it turns out that the beloved contractor has a personal vendetta against Daddy Dearest. You could see this coming before the opening credits finish rolling.

   Danny Trejo is a bad ass; he has played killers, gangsters, and mercenaries. You have seen him fight vampires and zombies. And we're supposed to believe that a trio of suburban dumb asses can best him in a fight to the death?

  Another thing that really irked me about this movie was a major plot hole concerning the teenage daughter. She has asthma, very bad asthma, and this fact that is touted constantly throughout the film. The fundraiser is for an asthma wing at the hospital. The daughter is reminded to bring her back up inhaler while going on a trip. The girl's angry boyfriend drives off with her stuff including her inhalers.

 One would assume that a convenient asthma attack would ensue while she and her mom are running for their lives. Nope, it never comes up and is pretty much forgotten.

  I would only recommend this movie to hard core Trejo fans and even so I would do it very reluctantly. And since this is the second Trejo film that I have hated, Machete 2 better be fucking awesome.