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Thursday, May 10, 2007

I'm Dreaming Of A Bland Christmas

Black Christmas: A Review

To start you all off I love the original 1974 Black Christmas. It was genuinely creepy and made good use of keeping the viewer in suspense without dragging it out. To date it is one of my favorite horror films. However the remake is living proof that "If it ain't broke don't fix it" To sum it up the movie deviates too far from it's original source and it shows.

The remake doubles the cast members ensuring that we get more bodies to brutally murder. Unfortunately the characters are so unmemorable that the viewers neither cures nor remembers who is who. Rather than follow the original in keeping the killer's background/motives unknown we are treated to a lame ass back story full of murder incest and eye-gouging galore. As for acting we have the talents of Michelle Tractenberg and Lacey Chabert absolutely wasted in one note roles. Most of the supporting actresses are boring and unmemorable save for Crystal Lowe who actually makes her role worth while to watch.

And the eye-gouging, good lord, it was unpleasant enough the first time around and did not need to be repeated. The original had subplots that garnered interest, a father searching for his daughter, a relationship gone sour. Instead we get back stories about characters that die ten minutes into the film. What is the point?

Then of course the surprise ending with we could see it from a mile away plot twist to the just when you thought it was over oh my god here he comes ending trust me if you want true horror rent the '74 version if you want to be bored senseless and pissed off grab the remake.