tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74400226652184337832024-02-19T02:01:21.863-08:00Jennifer: The Snark GoddessA look at the seedy and sometimes geeky underworld of cinemaLadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.comBlogger231125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-89046621079259706582014-05-06T11:04:00.000-07:002014-05-06T11:04:05.102-07:00I Can Haz A Liebster?Scarina from <a href="http://scarina.wordpress.com/">Scarina's Scary Vault of Scariness</a> nominated me for this award. Check her out, she is the bee's knees.<br />
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<strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. What angers you the most when watching a movie in theaters?</strong><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Bitstream Charter, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"> Just about everything I rarely even go to theaters anymore. It's too expensive, I have bad knees and have never found a comfortable seat. Plus I always get stuck behind the chatty cathys, constant movers and cell phone addicts. It's less stressful to wait for the DVD to come out.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. What do you love about watching movies in theaters?</strong><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Bitstream Charter, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;">Being out with my friends and that never waning sense of awe of seeing something on the big screen.</span></span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; line-height: 24px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Name a movie you never want to watch. Ever.</strong><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Bitstream Charter, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;">Human Centipede. How such an atrocious, vile, little movie even made it out of some sickos mind is beyond me? Who would pay to see that?</span></span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; line-height: 24px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Name a movie you’re ashamed you haven’t seen yet.</strong><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Bitstream Charter, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;">Suspiria. Every single horror movie blog I have read has lauded it repeatedly. I keep meaning to see it but always get distracted.</span></span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; line-height: 24px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">5. Favorite weekend hangout?</strong><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">Anywhere but the town I live in. But on the occasion I can't escape, it's the local tavern for some pool and Fireball.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">6. Favorite band or music artist for the past week? </strong><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Bitstream Charter, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;">I have been obsessed with Bob Dylan lately, especially Lay Lady Lay, I listen to it every morning.</span></span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; line-height: 24px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">7. 3D. Yay or Nay?</strong><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Bitstream Charter, serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">Nay. It's kind of obnoxious and necessary. Plus I think it was more suited for the '50s and '60s</span></span></span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; line-height: 24px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">8. Name a movie you wish you could have been on the set while it was filming. </strong><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" />Probably the Dawn of the Dead remake. I am obsessed with that movie and have scene all the behind the scenes specials on the DVD. Actually any zombie movie for that matter.<br /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">9. How do you stream movies (Computer, Blu-ray Player, Game Consoles like PS4 and Wii)?</strong><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">Computer, my Android tablet/phone.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">10. What are your top five favorite movie podcasts to listen to?</strong><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">I don't listen to podcasts, I don't have the attention span for it.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><strong style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">11. Who is your movie celebrity crush? You have to answer for both guys and girls.</strong><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;" /><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, Bitstream Charter, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"> Alexander Scarsgard. He is one of the few reasons I still watch True Blood. As for the girl, Evan Rachel Wood. She is just so luminous.</span></span>LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-4307265006425260942013-12-05T12:52:00.001-08:002013-12-05T12:53:52.146-08:00Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3D<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgttA7CT28IrttML5-Y-oNXVoAn4IaXrripsJ2rfYpeXQzzI5qlWGuMFvUEycG9W_JSS4G1bgV8VSBcrkB5J2GfVENwIDwEdZ8yWTM3bLxncvVPDal7keQ4FNDlywyF6_5gaWY4LNDS-kQ/s1600/texas_chainsaw_massacre_3d_new_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgttA7CT28IrttML5-Y-oNXVoAn4IaXrripsJ2rfYpeXQzzI5qlWGuMFvUEycG9W_JSS4G1bgV8VSBcrkB5J2GfVENwIDwEdZ8yWTM3bLxncvVPDal7keQ4FNDlywyF6_5gaWY4LNDS-kQ/s320/texas_chainsaw_massacre_3d_new_poster.jpg" width="216" /></a></div>
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I am going to start off this review by saying something that I never thought I'd say. I actually liked this movie. You are probably thinking that I have seen so many bad films that my brain has imploded, rendering me easily amused.<br />
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Chainsaw never had the ups and downs that one would expect from a horror franchise. There was only one up and that was followed by a number of increasingly bad sequels. TCM2 was not only a victim of extensive executive meddling but it was also silly and quite possibly the worst film Dennis Hopper ever made.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh905EMqs8OG9ClHZMTLLyg8XK3olvJhNPttUoQtPlGXXI0DU9XcisDQxwmVDsliyVYTvlOX6lJRSL8bKwatbkQ-T-f7GdXxLGxJVGPtVbjC4O7bnWIjnrVjPgfvxiVMZROsEBAkorgimA/s1600/download.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh905EMqs8OG9ClHZMTLLyg8XK3olvJhNPttUoQtPlGXXI0DU9XcisDQxwmVDsliyVYTvlOX6lJRSL8bKwatbkQ-T-f7GdXxLGxJVGPtVbjC4O7bnWIjnrVjPgfvxiVMZROsEBAkorgimA/s1600/download.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">I stand corrected<br /></span></td></tr>
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TCM3 was either a reboot or a sequel, I never could tell. It wasn't as bad as part 2 but it did not hold a candle to the awesomeness of the original. And like TCM2 it was also violated by executives who decided that a movie featuring a skin wearing serial killer was too gory and demanded cuts.<br />
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Then came TCM4 which starred a couple of unknown actors named Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger. McConaughey reportedly tried to get this film squashed as to avoid embarrassment. From an actor who thought Failure to Launch was a good idea, that's saying a lot. It also inexplicably decided to turn out favorite redneck slasher into a whiny little drag queen.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxnSv30I0roy9elP26oBm5qP_uSpmtkXXxgRsquknpY4cLaoKcTGnyF1Sd2_fdSNE0hB2D48gX9qPYSL6y71V03-daYeqZhcThLTVXTGOnqsohtQR6Lsv88vuWPlGN8o889j2HwKxNmOI/s1600/leatherface_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxnSv30I0roy9elP26oBm5qP_uSpmtkXXxgRsquknpY4cLaoKcTGnyF1Sd2_fdSNE0hB2D48gX9qPYSL6y71V03-daYeqZhcThLTVXTGOnqsohtQR6Lsv88vuWPlGN8o889j2HwKxNmOI/s320/leatherface_4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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In the early 2000s, the franchise attempted a reboot with a couple of films that I found bland and not worth typing about here.<br />
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Texas 3D picks up where the original left off. The local sheriff demands custody of Leatherface after the events in the original film. The family actually considers going along with it when a gaggle of rednecks led by the mayor attack the house. The only survivors are of course Leatherface and baby Heather whom one of the rednecks kidnap and raise as their own.<br />
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A couple of decades later, Heather learns that her grandmother has died leaving her a swanky little home in Texas. I have a lot of problems with this set up. First, why was the Sawyer clan living in such a dilapidated house in the middle when they obviously had money. Second, why did Granny wait 20 years or so to reclaim the granddaughter that stolen from her. Is there no punishment for her kidnappers who killed her own mother?<br />
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Heather along with her boyfriend and best friend decide to go check out the house and encounter a hitchhiker. Luckily this hitchhiker doesn't follow the TCM tradition of blowing his brains out. He does however convince these complete airheads to leave him alone in the house where he commences to robbing the place blind.<br />
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Fortunately for Heather that house has the best home security that money can't buy. That's right, good old Leatherface who has essentially been protected by Granny all these years. The films plods along and we get to see<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGouxLmszRL3va8yJ40up6xaPp-KhAAiXGM4GJkhk_gpLLsTAMBgX1giWvLlsj1kPWhX7eNGMFsWdkWdE9L91k55VaJiPw0IRXYVpDdn3pl5VkR53pZN8kxpADTQIgyjwdrt-eR2w2pC8/s1600/trey-songz-texas-chainsaw-massacre.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGouxLmszRL3va8yJ40up6xaPp-KhAAiXGM4GJkhk_gpLLsTAMBgX1giWvLlsj1kPWhX7eNGMFsWdkWdE9L91k55VaJiPw0IRXYVpDdn3pl5VkR53pZN8kxpADTQIgyjwdrt-eR2w2pC8/s320/trey-songz-texas-chainsaw-massacre.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Guy playing pool<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYX1-cp4gpKNNeWipFjrfvwaqhODLb6rgiOo2d0YnfssrHoGguaolly-fwQfMpYFJc0OsCsXyGqCQvT9PK1H4sj1hiVEucBUfoFGs6kCHt4-wP9W9XKAeCttxk7SIvyLCAsVVpiiZ1RVY/s1600/Texas-Chainsaw-3D_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYX1-cp4gpKNNeWipFjrfvwaqhODLb6rgiOo2d0YnfssrHoGguaolly-fwQfMpYFJc0OsCsXyGqCQvT9PK1H4sj1hiVEucBUfoFGs6kCHt4-wP9W9XKAeCttxk7SIvyLCAsVVpiiZ1RVY/s320/Texas-Chainsaw-3D_2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Awkward attempt at a love triangle</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDLIOd1Br8ny1jucwzJKhM0psgIz5cBSL5-rL7eLMWtKl4O4V7Iq-53AcY8Eutnkdb_gZnV1Zqon01kegOD0wUWeiOl7hDSwtiYuvbBPC71JrfI7bnCi_uNcgF3SvA5sdDCpbbePP61hg/s1600/MV5BMjAwMzM2NjgyN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTUwNTY1OQ@@._V1._SX640_SY322_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="161" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDLIOd1Br8ny1jucwzJKhM0psgIz5cBSL5-rL7eLMWtKl4O4V7Iq-53AcY8Eutnkdb_gZnV1Zqon01kegOD0wUWeiOl7hDSwtiYuvbBPC71JrfI7bnCi_uNcgF3SvA5sdDCpbbePP61hg/s320/MV5BMjAwMzM2NjgyN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTUwNTY1OQ@@._V1._SX640_SY322_.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And Leatherface battling a pig<br />
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And of course all of this is in 3D!!! so expect things tossed at the camera at any given moment. These effects may have been cool in the theater but on DVD it's just kind of dumb. Heather eventually learns that the town was responsible for killing her family and eventually decides to protect Leatherface as her grandmother has done before.</div>
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For a sequel, this movie is actually pretty decent. The movie actually made me feel sorry for Leatherface in a way that I could never feel sorry for Jason or Freddy. They took a stone cold killer and humanized him without turning him into a good guy or explaining away his sins. </div>
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Alexandra Daddario who plays Heather is a great actress and a likable scream queen. She is tough but also vulnerable and you generally feel for this lost character who is just trying to find her place in the world. I also love Tania Raymonde who despite playing the obligatory oversexed friend still manages to put in a good performance. I have been a big fan of hers since her days on Lost and am always pleased to see her pop up in movies. </div>
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The only quibble I have is with the dates of the film. It was established that the original TCM took place in the mid seventies and that the beginning of this films took place soon after. That would set the events of this movie in the mid-nineties based on Heather's age. This wouldn't have been an issue had a video phone not been a main part of a scene. In the mid-nineties cell phones looked like this </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4sjLALskT4i5EeGgbsaCFp7SvlZ95cjdufU-tdd3smSisWCRj2yjbQUdaR3Kg-CCKLDvqJa3gWvb-z4m5YEqhRsHZv2yPjtj0GXWYjfDWoE_vCGjVEEwLiZ9hWr5G6FTMiJfMpuRJXfQ/s1600/10213586.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4sjLALskT4i5EeGgbsaCFp7SvlZ95cjdufU-tdd3smSisWCRj2yjbQUdaR3Kg-CCKLDvqJa3gWvb-z4m5YEqhRsHZv2yPjtj0GXWYjfDWoE_vCGjVEEwLiZ9hWr5G6FTMiJfMpuRJXfQ/s320/10213586.jpg" width="247" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not included: VIDEO<br />
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If you like the original TCM then definitely give this one a whirl. It's a respectful homage that despite having some dull pointless scenes is entertaining. Kudos to this movie for paying tribute to the film's predecessor by bringing back original actors, Gunnar Hansen, Marilyn Burns, Bill Moesley, and John Dugan for cameos as members of the Sawyer family. </div>
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Listen up re booters and classic horror film violators how about a little more of this and a little less this</div>
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LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-7860978402977932412013-09-29T17:30:00.001-07:002013-09-29T17:36:33.640-07:00The Contractor<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqgUWeTYKr0hmmOFVF64eyrk36rUGxp4Bt9mffP7m31tNJcV1b7iL7RLiElhC0Cp5IqFjS1PZ5yK2-jp5Nx5Rc46AQyYGSnuFTeD4gVk-drSdy2YPHQg1EqSklZI8SEnLrwVx1OMwoexg/s1600/the-contractor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqgUWeTYKr0hmmOFVF64eyrk36rUGxp4Bt9mffP7m31tNJcV1b7iL7RLiElhC0Cp5IqFjS1PZ5yK2-jp5Nx5Rc46AQyYGSnuFTeD4gVk-drSdy2YPHQg1EqSklZI8SEnLrwVx1OMwoexg/s320/the-contractor.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> I think Danny Trejo may have Nicolas Cage syndrome. Nic Cage
Syndrome is where an actor that has proven he can carry blockbuster films still
takes any crap role that shows up in his inbox. Mr. Trejo, you are Machete for
Christ sake. Stop doing these<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><a href="http://ladyj3000.blogspot.com/2013/03/very-rarely-do-i-hate-zombie-movie.html">awful
movies</a>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> The Contractor is your typical
worker with an axe to grind picture. We meet the bland Chase family consisting
of lawyer dad, sickly teenage sprite and frigid bitch mom. They need the
kitchen remodeled quickly in time for a big fundraiser. But of course Daddy
Dearest is a cheapskate looking for the lowest bidder, enter Danny Trejo.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> I get it, we need a convenient
reason for Danny Trejo's character to be present in this movie. But the reason
is totally convoluted and is out of character for the father. This is a guy who
just bought this ridiculously swank mansion and on a whim bought his daughter a
horse. We're supposed to buy this cheapskate routine?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> This movie proceeds strictly by
numbers. Danny charms the pants off the family, frigid bitch gets uncomfortable
with him and has him fired, and of course it turns out that the beloved
contractor has a personal vendetta against Daddy Dearest. You could see this
coming before the opening credits finish rolling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> Danny Trejo is a bad ass; he
has played killers, gangsters, and mercenaries. You have seen him fight
vampires and zombies. And we're supposed to believe that a trio of suburban
dumb asses can best him in a fight to the death?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> Another thing that really irked me
about this movie was a major plot hole concerning the teenage daughter. She has
asthma, very bad asthma, and this fact that is touted constantly throughout the
film. The fundraiser is for an asthma wing at the hospital. The daughter is
reminded to bring her back up inhaler while going on a trip. The girl's angry
boyfriend drives off with her stuff including her inhalers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> One would assume that a convenient
asthma attack would ensue while she and her mom are running for their lives.
Nope, it never comes up and is pretty much forgotten.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> I would only recommend this movie
to hard core Trejo fans and even so I would do it very reluctantly. And since
this is the second Trejo film that I have hated, Machete 2 better be fucking
awesome.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-4324433244442038932013-08-01T01:16:00.001-07:002013-08-01T01:16:15.229-07:00Secrets in the Attic or how to be a masochist without even trying<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> Imagine you had a friend in high school, a close friend
with whom you were inseparable. Eventually though you outgrew this friend and
drifted away. Time passes and you look them up only to find out your friend has
lost their effing mind. This sums up my relationship with Andrew Neiderman aka
V.C. Andrews.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> I haven't read a V.C. Andrews book
in years but Secrets in the Attic called out to me. Mainly because it I thought
it might be a throwback to Flowers in the Attic. The novel centers around two besties,
Karen and Zipporah. At least the Andrews' legacy of terrible names hasn't gone
out of style.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> Karen begins to act strangely and
eventually reveals that her stepdad is a regular Norman Bates who has been
molesting her. Eventually Karen kills him and Zippy is forced to hide her
friend while feigning ignorance to her trusting parents.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> This story could have been a great
psychological study on whether Karen was a victim or a heartless murderer. This
book could have been some Nancy Drew mystery with the girls working to clear
Karen's name. This book could have been about giant zombie bunnies fighting
vampire guinea pigs. Any of these approaches would have been better than what
really happened.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> Aside from the murder, the
plot of the book centers on Zipporah getting laid. Your best friend's virginity
is far more important than being on the lam for murder. She even goes so far to
manipulate some guy into thinking Zipporah's a sure thing. In the old school
V.C. Andrews novel, Zipporah would have been raped, but this is a kinder
gentler V.C.; attempted rape only.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> Zipporah soon finds out that her
older brother not only knows about Karen, he is also sleeping with her.
Everyone eventually finds out that Karen has been lying about what had really
happened and is conveniently put away in a mental hospital. And that she has a
convenient sequel hook growing in her belly thanks to all that secret attic
sex.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> Secrets had the potential to
actually be worthy of the V.C. Andrews name but was incredibly botched by
boring characters and ludicrous story lines. I was hoping to read more about
Karen not Zipporah and her search for a clue. Sadly, there is a sequel and I
will read and review it. It’s because I may be a masochist who specializes in torturing
herself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> Hopefully Secrets in the Shadows
will tie up the multitude of loose ends that Attic has left behind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-20971095218398922042013-07-31T01:40:00.001-07:002013-07-31T01:46:00.390-07:00Cinemania's First Guest Post<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<em style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #191515; font-family: cambria, georgia, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Thank you to Spencer Blohm for this blogs' first guest post about a one of my favorite actresses, Kate Beckinsale. Happy Belated Birthday.</em></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">The talented and
beautiful Kate Beckinsale turned 40 this past week. In honor of this milestone,
I have collaborated with Jen to do a celebratory post on her life and career.
Happy birthday Kate, I don’t think 40 has ever looked so good!</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Kathrin Romary Beckinsale
was born on July 26, 1973 in London. The only child of two actors, it seemed
destined that Kate would join in the family business. Her first television
appearance happened when she was four. She appeared on an episode of the
British biographical series <i>This is Your Life</i> which had dedicated an
episode to her father. Unfortunately, the following year, when Kate was only
five, her father suffered from a heart attack and died. Kate and her mother
then moved in with director Roy Battersby and she was raised with his five
children.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Kate attended the
Godolphin and Latymer School during her teen years and became involved with a
local youth theater group. Despite being considered one of the most beautiful
women in the business today, in high school Kate was a shy and reserved teen
who hadn’t yet grown into her looks. She spent her teen years miserable and
isolated, resulting in a difficult battle with anorexia. Eventually she
suffered a nervous breakdown and was forced to undergo years of therapy to recover.
She feels she fell prey to the disease primarily because of the trauma
surrounding her father’s death. She discussed the rough patch with report Janie
Lawrence in 1997 saying, “For some kids, if something traumatic happens to them
when they're very young they pick something safer to worry about...The worst
thing about it is that it takes on a life of its own separate from whatever's
caused it.”</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">She moved on from that
dark period while at New College in Oxford where she studied French and Russian
literature. She excelled in college, earning the WH Smith Young Writers Award
twice and joining the Oxford University Dramatic Society. Her first acting role
came in 1991 when she appeared in the mini-series <i>Devices and Desires</i>.
That same year she appeared in Hallmark made-for-TV movie <i>One Against the
Wind</i>. Her first major role came in 1993 when she landed the role of Hero in
the film adaptation of <i>Much Ado About Nothing</i>. She appeared in a few
more films while attending school, but ultimately decided to quit school in
1995 to put all her time and energy into her acting career.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">The same year she
dropped out of school she received critical praise for her portrayal of Flora
Poste in <i>Cold Comfort Farm</i>, also that year she starred in the horror
film <i>Haunted</i>. She followed <i>Haunted</i> with her first professional
theater appearance in <i>The Seagull</i>. It was during this time she met her
boyfriend Michael Sheen. They stayed together until 2003, and Sheen is the
father of her daughter. After starring in three more plays during 1996 she
began work as the title character in the mini-series <i>Emma,</i> which was
based on Jane Austen’s novel.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">In 1998 she and Sheen
moved to New York and she landed her first American movie: <i>The Last Days of
Disco</i>. Kate received many positive reviews for her role as the uptight and
snobby Charlotte. She continued to act in a series of lesser known American
films through the end of the 90’s. In 2001 she landed her first leading role as
a nurse torn between two best friends in the Michael Bay war epic <i>Pearl Harbor</i>.
Despite differences with Bay and mixed reviews of the film, Kate’s star began
to rise. She ended 2001 with a co-starring role alongside John Cusack in <i>Serendipity</i>.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Kate’s signature, most
well-known role, came in 2003 when she starred as the vampire vixen Selene in <i>Underworld</i>.
Her second action film came in 2004 when she starred in <i>Van Helsing</i> with
Hugh Jackman. That same year she married director Len Wiseman at the Hotel
Bel-Air. In a bid to diversify her resume, she accepted the role of screen
siren Ava Gardner in Martin Scorsese’s <i>The Aviator</i>, a Howard Hughes
biopic. In 2006 she showcased her acting skills by reprising her character in <i>Underworld:
Evolution</i> and also starred in the family comedy <i>Click</i>. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Kate spent the following
years appearing in series of independent films, most of which received mixed
reviews. Her most critically praised role, in <i>Nothing but The Truth</i>,
earned her a Critic’s Choice Award nomination, but the film is generally
forgotten because of its lack of a theatrical release due to the film company
filing for bankruptcy in 2008. Following two films in 2009, <i>Everybody’s Fine</i>
and <i>Whiteout</i>, Kate took a break from acting for three years.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">She made her return in
2012 with three back-to-back action films; <i>Contraband</i>, <i>Underworld:
Awakening</i>, and <i>Total Recall</i>. Up next for Kate is the release of her
film <i>The Trials of Cate McCall</i> later this year. She is currently filming
<i>Eliza Graves</i>, a thriller where she plays a patient in a mental
institution.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Through the years Kate
has managed to create a body of work that is unique and diverse, both in
subject matter and in scale. She continues to captivate audiences no matter
what role she chooses. Kate Beckinsale is, and will remain, one of a kind.
Happy birthday Kate!</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">About the Author:
Spencer Blohm is a freelance entertainment and film blogger for </span><a href="http://www.getdirecttv.org/"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">GetDirectTV.org</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 107%;">. A fan of Kate’s since seeing her in <i>The Aviator</i>, he still
considers that one of her best roles (alongside <i>The Last Days of Disco</i>
and <i>Pearl Harbor</i>). He lives and works in Chicago with his cat Rupert.</span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7440022665218433783" name="_GoBack"></a></div>
LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-86431922894072475662013-07-29T17:26:00.000-07:002013-07-30T01:58:35.012-07:0010 Things I Hate About Halloween 5<br />
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1. Perfectly good storyline from part 4 is completely abandoned.</div>
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2. Ellie Cornell is killed off in the first reel taking half of the movies combined talent with her.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigXjfO4f0v0le_LigmrN5Km_ORb1NKgIMhYtZ5e2IscXqAPiNmLmSHv_4YKTvJUu0dUwi1KWc7TmXOaX8Zk-Z4r5lhj6OsjkaD7539DxoKPGcqwdMDh2H2DA3tPnqx0E7M01sf6vguR00/s1600/Rachels_corpse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigXjfO4f0v0le_LigmrN5Km_ORb1NKgIMhYtZ5e2IscXqAPiNmLmSHv_4YKTvJUu0dUwi1KWc7TmXOaX8Zk-Z4r5lhj6OsjkaD7539DxoKPGcqwdMDh2H2DA3tPnqx0E7M01sf6vguR00/s320/Rachels_corpse.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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3. <strike>Terrible</strike> <strike>Awful</strike> Atrocious acting </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ1nCiPH9N6YgjQJh0RIm4UuSsg1FEeg81t-DUywKPAyGeSRRfU2hwPP3nIbbmuG_ePDLHH4KoMvm5vcn2KiKlJ-XaxM964U43HIag_ogbOLskGc6ZeTDH10u1-xQEqKtGjXXUAp1gBq0/s1600/halloween-5-tina-and-mike.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ1nCiPH9N6YgjQJh0RIm4UuSsg1FEeg81t-DUywKPAyGeSRRfU2hwPP3nIbbmuG_ePDLHH4KoMvm5vcn2KiKlJ-XaxM964U43HIag_ogbOLskGc6ZeTDH10u1-xQEqKtGjXXUAp1gBq0/s320/halloween-5-tina-and-mike.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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4. These fuckers don't die quick enough</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhchGv8stsvwrvdSh2Q4cX9ROHQC0BZs-JWhef77to3LoRfJNSBSeFK0qM7ddbpLneN7D6dHr75u8qmpp2rcTiP3uFvMehJujlgSECsPFpgK-VpG8XE88Lj2kPTTRapNrIWW2R_nUuzanM/s1600/Halloween-5-Sam-Spitz-Tamara-Glynn.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhchGv8stsvwrvdSh2Q4cX9ROHQC0BZs-JWhef77to3LoRfJNSBSeFK0qM7ddbpLneN7D6dHr75u8qmpp2rcTiP3uFvMehJujlgSECsPFpgK-VpG8XE88Lj2kPTTRapNrIWW2R_nUuzanM/s1600/Halloween-5-Sam-Spitz-Tamara-Glynn.png" /></a></div>
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5. Cliched cat scare scene</div>
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6. Dr Loomis has turned into a dick</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfvm7EdupBVarMMFyoq2K07xbMOAVApojEGuTprMcxfPErXCfDcgnTmXXtnQvFm51PyDvUuznMRrvHh2qTl8rDO9VQfznfs-PjKvELBMOSjcEvbf-YLaffF0j1TqV43zL1hE3BTxqKNJ0/s1600/therapy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfvm7EdupBVarMMFyoq2K07xbMOAVApojEGuTprMcxfPErXCfDcgnTmXXtnQvFm51PyDvUuznMRrvHh2qTl8rDO9VQfznfs-PjKvELBMOSjcEvbf-YLaffF0j1TqV43zL1hE3BTxqKNJ0/s320/therapy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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7. Movie introduces two bumbling cops for comedic effect, torpedoes franchise for seven years.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEO1YO25cOSvCcbGx-bZz6dP1JOyZS5StD0v7h-0-b2UAoXUSCp4TcifqO2xwHnYh8_e5uvSO8mHdlobTTMFeEKdLGHZLAA4ry5ip9CM6wpUb6sajwt_5Cx0GOy7SFhC4T8tqT6Pb7DPQ/s1600/Halloween-5-Deaths-michael-myers-11966439-710-460.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEO1YO25cOSvCcbGx-bZz6dP1JOyZS5StD0v7h-0-b2UAoXUSCp4TcifqO2xwHnYh8_e5uvSO8mHdlobTTMFeEKdLGHZLAA4ry5ip9CM6wpUb6sajwt_5Cx0GOy7SFhC4T8tqT6Pb7DPQ/s320/Halloween-5-Deaths-michael-myers-11966439-710-460.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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8. This scene</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/rgjSAUTsifc" width="560"></iframe></div>
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9. Michael Myers' cheap dollar store mask</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDrrLD5KVPvBjGfnLrh3QEeaKhX_RaHM-De0QrLCfJAdku4TLT6da-NsQn7DSnd2wILmT4jnuXlevXRjvbqkPrs_jN5nlw42nLNEzi5BSRzy1riRMLPwnRc0HFmRFExl9G4AXBLEkLdZo/s1600/Halloween-5-michael-myers-8960717-1200-774.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDrrLD5KVPvBjGfnLrh3QEeaKhX_RaHM-De0QrLCfJAdku4TLT6da-NsQn7DSnd2wILmT4jnuXlevXRjvbqkPrs_jN5nlw42nLNEzi5BSRzy1riRMLPwnRc0HFmRFExl9G4AXBLEkLdZo/s320/Halloween-5-michael-myers-8960717-1200-774.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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10. Dr Loomis dies yet returns in part 6 with no explanation</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHd1g-LeKUZ7gwik-_ZiFMNEDd51sLfJZ4Q2wFKvmUhV85HQ5An8Se82jYoNcTpR326vHCgtFBcz2FmVpzogg2cZq2MzeUP41edpB3hfFkoWN0vE2QEyDKyxeIEMHEPRKZKtcoWUcdf2A/s1600/H5+LOOMIS+DEAD.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHd1g-LeKUZ7gwik-_ZiFMNEDd51sLfJZ4Q2wFKvmUhV85HQ5An8Se82jYoNcTpR326vHCgtFBcz2FmVpzogg2cZq2MzeUP41edpB3hfFkoWN0vE2QEyDKyxeIEMHEPRKZKtcoWUcdf2A/s320/H5+LOOMIS+DEAD.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-88904128739387714912013-07-18T21:50:00.005-07:002013-07-18T21:50:54.498-07:00Co-ed Call Girl<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn9xCLJu8qqc5Lr87vR3y-4kM3BnDC29x019adRJE6TgXgaTqqAz4VMNXJJhVddUIaLclpCA-3mQjBtVYYKFYx991sXAmbP5uaxYWlKzKoJhuZXRHdLQAqX-SDWC55X4Ik4pKYjXJdag0/s1600/4042217-l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhn9xCLJu8qqc5Lr87vR3y-4kM3BnDC29x019adRJE6TgXgaTqqAz4VMNXJJhVddUIaLclpCA-3mQjBtVYYKFYx991sXAmbP5uaxYWlKzKoJhuZXRHdLQAqX-SDWC55X4Ik4pKYjXJdag0/s320/4042217-l.jpg" width="223" /></a></div>
<br />
Once again, I dive into the pink ghetto known as Lifetime.
Like the Nostalgia Critic, I watch it so you don’t have to.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Ahh, Tori Spelling, the spoiled rotten fruit of Aaron
Spelling’s loins, how I loathe her. I try not to be that person who hates a
celebrity but she just doesn't make it easy. I even read her biography in a
last ditch attempt to quell my hatred, it didn't work.</div>
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Tori plays Joanna, every Lifetime girl ever. She is a smart
girl with a bright future, you know doomed. Her roommates hate her probably as
much as I do. As a prank, they call an escort service and leave Joanna’s name
asking them for a job.</div>
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<br /></div>
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They actually call her back. This escort service is so
desperate that Tori freaking Spelling is a viable option! The girl who recruits her is played by Jeri
Lynn Ryan, a girl you would actually pay for. Joanna meets her favorite author
and promptly beds him, getting a healthy paycheck in return.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0DGt-1E06OwVFj8vbaUZgOz0Tqw9whjGNSpkhuLPBMwoO878EK-WjwBcFa710HCobC9tKuD2JriUgl_jQzucMXryUX_8aNjD7aozkxCzs_Ky_hi_yEli96esRZf0U1OGOrONBpETUbvE/s1600/gryan004.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0DGt-1E06OwVFj8vbaUZgOz0Tqw9whjGNSpkhuLPBMwoO878EK-WjwBcFa710HCobC9tKuD2JriUgl_jQzucMXryUX_8aNjD7aozkxCzs_Ky_hi_yEli96esRZf0U1OGOrONBpETUbvE/s1600/gryan004.jpg" /></a></div>
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Joanna soon learns that prostitution does not mean she can’t
sleep her way through the male population of her bookshelf. Her pimp, Ron,
spends half the film cajoling her and the other half threatening her. At one
point he punishes her by selling her to a client for 50 bucks, which is still
highway robbery.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Ron attempts some forceful sampling of his own and Joanna
shoots him. She’s arrested but the courts declare her to be like totally
innocent, ya’ll. Flanked by her mother
and boyfriend, she gives the pimp a triumphant glare before trotting off to her
happy ending.</div>
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<br /></div>
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About that happy ending, it’s bullshit. </div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; text-indent: -0.25in;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">She was arrested and her college’s name was
dragged through the mud. You really think they are not going to kick her out of
there.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; text-indent: -0.25in;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">She also shot a man and admitted to being a
hooker, you can kiss any job that requires a background check goodbye</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; text-indent: -0.25in;">·<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">The pimp that she shot is alive; she’s about 20
seconds away from a drive-by shooting carried out by a neckless goon named Big Lou.</span></li>
</ul>
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Thank you, Lifetime. If it weren't for your terrible and
oddly addictive movies, I could actually maintain my self-respect.</div>
LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-81180689975656186992013-04-24T22:29:00.000-07:002013-05-02T05:22:04.586-07:00V: (The Second Generation) by Kenneth Johnson<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlfPeRjjeYcUVIJeRMuaAOy-e-Ru1dEG_9AsioNj-64HgmCUNAHIRBvNnkF-zJG9Zuvm-5AK-SDwlLan4GSbG8ehDoMO0HRx3YLClSSepO8_saDxvt7JmO7OTtxwaLrO6Iw_waOFicgis/s1600/9780765319067.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlfPeRjjeYcUVIJeRMuaAOy-e-Ru1dEG_9AsioNj-64HgmCUNAHIRBvNnkF-zJG9Zuvm-5AK-SDwlLan4GSbG8ehDoMO0HRx3YLClSSepO8_saDxvt7JmO7OTtxwaLrO6Iw_waOFicgis/s320/9780765319067.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><br />
This is what the latest remake of V should have been. In fact, this was
what the remake would have been until Warner Bros decided to remake the series
completely. Nothing against the newer V series, I did like it and was bummed
when it was cancelled.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> But
this version of V is in a word awesome. It's pays tribute to the show's history
and manages to create new story lines that keep the story fresh. First of
all, it did what the new series did not, bring back all the old characters not
just Diana. In fact, Diana barely came back, the remake flanderized her and
wasted the talents of the phenomenal Jane Badler. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> The novel
takes place 20 years after the original series ended. The Visitors are in full
control of the world and having been slowly draining the world's water, turning
San Francisco into a desert wasteland. The Resistance has been almost destroyed
in the Great Purge of '99, leaving only a few left. Things change when a new
race of aliens arrives to help the humans take back their planet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> Starting
off, most of the old favorites are back. Mike, Juliet, Willy and Harmony,
Robert, Martin, and Diana are all back. There is also the introduction of the
second generation who are well written and fit seamlessly with the
older series. Particular favorites are Emma and Nathan, former
Visitor sympathizers turned vigilantes. And Ruby, Juliet's scrappy
half-breed daughter, who avoids being a stereotypical Mary Sue like a lot
of child characters turn out to be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> I wasn't
too crazy about the newer alien race; they were rather bland with no
real back story. In fact, most of their story was observations on how hot
the alien babes were. If I wanted to read alien porn, I would. My biggest
quibble with the book was the absence of Robin and her half-breed
child, Elizabeth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgglGUDxjIFAjNiwT1qGNj-K-I9fBs6L1IOn7VFKviGyvDGzE7N-0lfwHfZninHfyPJXUmGuYb7VQI7F5sjXGtQwZzEqfAXquWx6RO5lupHNJkx0JqE_y8Fwhrip4_CQJ4MlIJQaTOYy4Q/s1600/alienbaby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="184" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgglGUDxjIFAjNiwT1qGNj-K-I9fBs6L1IOn7VFKviGyvDGzE7N-0lfwHfZninHfyPJXUmGuYb7VQI7F5sjXGtQwZzEqfAXquWx6RO5lupHNJkx0JqE_y8Fwhrip4_CQJ4MlIJQaTOYy4Q/s320/alienbaby.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> Robin and
Elizabeth were an integral part of not only the original mini-series but also the following television series. The alien birth scene is probably one of the
most memorable in Sci-Fi history and they don't even warrant a mention. At
least scribble a couple of lines about them dying in the purge or whatever. To
add insult to injury, Robin's father is a major character in this novel and all
he utters is some throwaway line about Mike saving his daughters, just
insulting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> Still this
is a great novel, if you loved V or even just love a good Sci-Fi novel, then
check it out. You won't be disappointed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-11314486869656435342013-04-16T01:41:00.001-07:002013-04-20T00:27:29.853-07:00Alien Nation #1: The Day of Descent by Judith &Garfield Reeves-Stevens<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivle0l58EqFwK4ExOuJbMo8-P_lvfo1gZQSz0iPD067Unczrtgt5TEX3_2uA3a5CqTkRrhqq30jV4WzHw9VapA1FSNmeVPki8y5CUfn1ZrYstTI7ftSllp_nhedOwRgnxYVRBPbhjYykI/s1600/nation1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivle0l58EqFwK4ExOuJbMo8-P_lvfo1gZQSz0iPD067Unczrtgt5TEX3_2uA3a5CqTkRrhqq30jV4WzHw9VapA1FSNmeVPki8y5CUfn1ZrYstTI7ftSllp_nhedOwRgnxYVRBPbhjYykI/s400/nation1.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Normally I am not a fan of tie-in novels. While there are
some good ones out there, there are plenty more mediocre ones as well. But
since I was a huge fan of the Alien Nation series, I had to give this one a
shot. This is definitely one of the good ones.</div>
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Day of Descent is sort of a prequel to the original series.
It picks up just after the season finale left off, with George’s wife and
daughter in critical condition after a terrorist attack. While waiting in the
hospital George and his son, Buck relieve the events that led to them crash
landing on Earth.</div>
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Meanwhile, George’s partner, Sikes reveals his first
encounter with the aliens to his Cathy, his alien love interest. </div>
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I loved being able to delve into George’s past while on the
slave ship and how he got the courage to revolt. Buck’s story line about being
torn between family and duty was also well-written, though it was hard seeing
him as a child as opposed to the teenager we saw in the series. I loved getting
a more proper feel for their lives before breaking free from their captors.</div>
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I wasn't too fond of the Sikes story line nothing against
the character, I just couldn't get into it. The whole finding out about the aliens/government
cover up was done in V and much better in my humble opinion. I found myself
being disappointed when the story would shift to him and pretty much skimmed
the chapters until I got back to the slave ship.</div>
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If you were a fan of the series, then this book is a must
read. It gives you a better appreciation of the characters and fills in a lot
of necessary back-story. I look forward to reading the other books in the
series. </div>
<br />LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-23287233925243374082013-04-05T21:13:00.003-07:002013-04-20T00:32:25.535-07:00Horrifying Non-Horror or Oh Hai, Romy & Michelle.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjX-8OjIpLBTx1Vcsz28n4CgENyNp8rOkSG3yCtwJanAYb6RP__1ElZ6Ry4hZL0_gKv9u2jlRovB08OTvZ3zI6fte9NtzEzBpXUfQ-nhtih82jlZWbYr1i9SV7jpogfsFb0xpMIsV5mzg/s1600/verybad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjX-8OjIpLBTx1Vcsz28n4CgENyNp8rOkSG3yCtwJanAYb6RP__1ElZ6Ry4hZL0_gKv9u2jlRovB08OTvZ3zI6fte9NtzEzBpXUfQ-nhtih82jlZWbYr1i9SV7jpogfsFb0xpMIsV5mzg/s320/verybad.jpg" width="241" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">As far as '90s movies go, Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion
is a personal favorite. It had likable characters, a solid cast, and an awesome
soundtrack. It was the magic of this film that made me stupid enough to seek
out this insipid prequel.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> The prequel
could have had excellent casting had the casting director not mucked it up.
Katherine Heigl plays Romy who was the smarter half of the duo in the original
film. She plays Romy as an absolute ditz, same with Alexis Breckinridge who takes
the ditzy role of Michelle and makes her more serious and smarter. Had they
simply switched roles this movie might have been more tolerable. Maybe the
people who made this film couldn't tell the characters apart but the fans
could.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> We meet up
with a post high school Romy and Michelle who are desperate to leave Phoenix.
Inspired by their new favorite movie, Pretty Woman, they decide to move to
Hollywood and become hookers. Since this was made by ABC Family, they obviously
don't go through with their goal. They are befriended by Donna, a transgender Fairy Godmother who takes the poor girls in. Donna is by far the most likable
and entertaining character who should have gotten more of a plot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> The
plot of the original Romy & Michelle was actually relatable. It was about two
high school outcasts hoping to show up their former tormentors. The plot of the
prequel: Romy & Michelle are desperate to get into a trendy nightclub. This
is not a movie plot, this is something you would fined in a typical sitcom or
teen drama. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> There
are other more inane subplots, such as the girls’ lucky red shoes whom the
original owner is desperate to get back. There’s an insecure model threatening
to end the girls’ friendship. There is also a romantic subplot with two actors
completely lacking in chemistry. They even trot out a shy maid with musical
aspirations to butcher a Cyndi Lauper song. And of course a completely random cameo
by Paula Abdul that makes no sense.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> The ditzy duo
learns that they should be their selves and not try to fit in with everyone
else. This is a lesson that they will completely years later and will have to
learn all over again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> I
was at best hoping to find a cute little TV movie to bide my time. This was
seriously an in name only movie that felt more like a drawn out cheap sitcom
sans the laugh track. Save yourself the agony and simply rent the original
instead.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-69416073600954992472013-03-31T16:45:00.004-07:002013-04-20T00:26:58.272-07:00Rise of the Zombies...and my lunch<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2QeeUdoVPZsneFY0EPPtVgcYsPagmkLNs-8x0qtUapmiUat1ZFrtKprSwKmf7DLsuq4Cg2Qs5dHMFIiIqoR9dScPfdqXA4p3akCKlU081w5YaUYB6GhwSA3fkIc3j1x0PFZ50RKXB7DE/s1600/vgxmqri.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2QeeUdoVPZsneFY0EPPtVgcYsPagmkLNs-8x0qtUapmiUat1ZFrtKprSwKmf7DLsuq4Cg2Qs5dHMFIiIqoR9dScPfdqXA4p3akCKlU081w5YaUYB6GhwSA3fkIc3j1x0PFZ50RKXB7DE/s320/vgxmqri.jpg" width="243" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Very rarely do I hate a zombie movie. The zombie genre is one of
my favorites and if you have read my blog, you know I am not afraid of terrible
movies. But Rise of the Zombies goes beyond terrible; it is heavy handed and downright
unpleasant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"> The movie
centers around a group of survivors who have been living on Alcatraz Island.
However their safety is soon compromised when the zombies begin to infiltrate.
The group decides to return to the city in the hopes of finding a cure. One of
the survivors played by LeVar Burton opts to stay behind and basically spend
the whole film having his talents wasted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Speaking of
wasting talent, Danny Trejo also stars in this film and dies in the first reel.
This is the same thing that ticked me off about the Day of the Dead remake when
Ving Rhames died early. You do not cast bad ass actors in a zombie film and
kill them off. Trejo was the main reason I gave this movie an ounce of my
attention.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNSuLbxrRppnjYP7PfrmepfNlS-UfhiEgbqL14DjRbuYRrEwZJ138uUAcboI1i91Ti5LdgL18UTq5p7qkuNpfNh0O6T5VexUNZ9z8nscYrcAQ5rIZ0c5Gfu0AIDGFYS5yNlq37VPSYsSY/s1600/safe_image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNSuLbxrRppnjYP7PfrmepfNlS-UfhiEgbqL14DjRbuYRrEwZJ138uUAcboI1i91Ti5LdgL18UTq5p7qkuNpfNh0O6T5VexUNZ9z8nscYrcAQ5rIZ0c5Gfu0AIDGFYS5yNlq37VPSYsSY/s320/safe_image.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">One of the main
plots of Rise is a pregnant woman named Ashley. Ashley is a
pessimist who believes that her pregnancy is more of a curse than a joyous
event. This was a pretty decent plot that was literally squashed in one of the
worst scenes I have ever seen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">Our survivors come
across a pregnant woman who is trapped in an ambulance and in labor.
Unfortunately our mom to be is turned and the survivors are forced to do a C
section to save the baby. The baby initially is fine and the scene is rather heartwarming.
That is until the baby turns into a zombie and promptly has its head
smashed in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnshQrP5V6FpZXZVSqQXl7omoc6WmsOHd2k6t51qYGr_LUKb1JEEdSyou8gAX2cuIpW-uL-CbYAfcnr5qrnyKfeaPviUAbV_vRxQJoCSQBRePrNAWpE-RV1FKXD4p649NZvcndQRsMFeU/s1600/Rise.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="177" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnshQrP5V6FpZXZVSqQXl7omoc6WmsOHd2k6t51qYGr_LUKb1JEEdSyou8gAX2cuIpW-uL-CbYAfcnr5qrnyKfeaPviUAbV_vRxQJoCSQBRePrNAWpE-RV1FKXD4p649NZvcndQRsMFeU/s320/Rise.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">I have seen a
lifetime of blood and gore but that scene turned my stomach. It also ruined any
respect I had for the movie. To make matters worse, Ashley kills
herself later on resulting in yet another infant death in this movie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;">The rest of the
movie consists on wasting the talents of Ethan Suplee and Mariel Hemingway,
religious discussions and a tacked on "optimistic ending." With this
movie, SYFY hit a new low in poor taste. When you fail as a SYFY movie, you
kind of fail the movie industry all together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-20625994374493686042013-01-03T18:42:00.000-08:002013-01-06T04:41:05.902-08:00Sleepaway Camp 3: The final nightmare.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Once again reminding us that there are better movies out there</td></tr>
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After a long hiatus, I have returned. What better way to
start a new year by finishing something I had started last year. It’s time to
cover the final installment in the increasing shit storm know as the Sleepaway
Camp series.</div>
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I have to start this review by stating that Angela has one
of the stupidest motives in slasher history, stupider than Michael Myers’ thorn
cult. Her motive is summer camp and not in the way that Jason Voorhees sees
summer camp. She obviously loves bug juice and macrame art so much that she
would kill for it.</div>
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Since part 2 and 3 were filmed back to back, the action
takes place at Camp Rolling Rock now rechristened Camp New Horizons. In an
effort to drum up some good publicity, the owner’s are hosting an outreach program
for rich and poor teenagers.</div>
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Angela is really devoted to her motive. In the days before
Facebook, she manages to get a hold of the list of the campers. She manages to
find someone who looks enough like her so that she can use her I.D. without
suspicion. She steals a truck in order to kill her and steal her stuff. She
even takes the time to indulge in a little graffiti art.</div>
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Let’s condense this film, shall we? Most of the kids are
assholes begging to die. The fact that Angela looks so old is mentioned in increasingly
unfunny jokes. There are random acts of nude scenes and a very uncomfortable
sex scene involving Michael Pollard. I understand that sex scenes are a staple
of slasher films but this was just unpleasant. It was so graphic that one might
have mistaken that scene for a bad porno instead of a bad horror film.</div>
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There are a couple of assets that makes this film a little
more likable than its predecessor. One was the introduction of Officer Whitman.
He was mentioned in the previous installment as one of Angela’s arresting
officer and the father of one of her victims. I wish they had actually devoted
more screen time with this instead of offing him so quickly.</div>
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I also enjoyed the character of Marcia. She is such a
likable character that even Angela decides not to kill her. Marcia is also a bad ass rather than let Angela live, she engages the psycho into a knock down
drag out fight where she emerges as the victor. The film even takes time to
poke a little fun in the end at the typical romances that we find in slasher
films.</div>
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And Michael Pollard it’s not your fault you resorted to such
dire straits for money. If I can forgive Dennis Hopper for Texas Chainsaw
Massacre 2, I can forgive you.</div>
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LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-18970440017042564032012-10-15T16:21:00.001-07:002012-10-15T16:21:59.027-07:00My rambling thoughts on The Walking Dead: Seed Walking Dead is back and better than ever. Months have passed since we last saw our zombie survivalists and they have improved with age. Sadly, Lori is <a href="http://ladyj3000.blogspot.com/2012/03/10-reasons-why-walking-dead-should-just.html">still alive</a> and sporting the fakest baby bump in the television history.<br />
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Seriously, Walking Dead! You can afford zombie makeup and fake blood but not a realistic pregnancy pad. If money was an issue, you could have shoplifted one from a maternity store. Lindsay Lohan's fake pregnant belly was more realistic than Lori's supposed real one.<br />
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It was a good idea to skip the show ahead a few months. It gives the show more story line opportunities and speeds up Lori's pregnancy. Having a baby on the show is just a bad idea all around and the sooner that storyline is resolved the better. It also helps to explain the actor who plays Carl's obvious growth spurt.<br />
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Carl has turned into an effing bad ass and I suspect the words "Where's Carl?" will be a distant memory. I'm sure Carl's little crush on Beth is supposed to be cute but to me it's creepy. Beth is a very expendable character and I doubt she'll see the end of the season. Her musical number while pretty didn't really fit the flow of the series.<br />
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Speaking of expendable. Is T Dog ever not going to be the token black guy? This character has survived while more major characters have died. Yet he still has no established personality or dialogue that lasts longer than two sentences.<br />
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When did Maggie go from meek farm girl to Sarah Connor? In less than ten minutes she became my all time favorite character of the series. She and Glen are adorable and I hope there is a happy ending for this couple. Daryl and Carol, not so much. I was routing for a union between them but it doesn't seem to work. Partially the actors lack chemistry and partially it threatens Daryl's lone wolf persona that I love.<br />
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I like this new and improved cast of characters. Without Shane gumming up the works, Rick has grown into an effective leader. The scenes where they infiltrate the prison were well done because the characters actually worked together and protected one another.<br />
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I was disappointed in what little I saw of Andrea, she's finally evolved into a likable character and gets barely ten minutes of screen time.<br />
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Dear Writers and Producers of Walking Dead,<br />
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This is the show we all fell in love with. Do not stray from this formula. No sturm, no drang, no Lori. If you can knock this season out of the ballpark, I can finally forgive you for Season 2.<br />
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LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-59162037761650277312012-10-03T16:23:00.000-07:002013-05-02T05:33:25.612-07:00Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Viewers First I reviewed the cult classic Sleepaway Camp. And then I tackled the not so classic true sequel Return to Sleepaway Camp. Now it's time to delve into the franchises bastard half-sibling Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>How kind of this poster to remind us that there are better movies out there.</b></td></tr>
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I don't consider SC2 a true sequel to the original as it doesn't contain any original cast members and totally flanderizes the character of Angela, played by Felissa Rose in the original. The newest incarnation of Angela is played by Pamela Springsteen. I don't have any quibbles with the actress, she did well with the limited material that she had. The film's portrayal of Angela is a completely different story.</div>
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A few years have passed since the original film and Angela is back at her favorite place in the whole wide world; summer camp. She loves camp so much, she wants to take it to Makeout Point and impregnate it. Camp is awesome. </div>
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Wait a minute Angela loves summer camp? Apparently she has fond memories of being bullied, nearly raped, having her boyfriend cheat on her with her worst enemy and of course those pesky little murders she committed. Realistically camp would be the last place she would go near. We are supposed to believe this quiet, intense, sexually confused killer would morph into a perky little chatterbox. Is that what years of shock therapy and gender reassignment surgery do to a person</div>
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Angela is not like Jason returning simply to kill again, she's a counselor who it determined to make Camp I'm-Not-Going-To-Bother-Looking-It-Up the best camp ever. Oh wait I forgot 98% of the characters in the franchise are assholes. Sex crazed teenagers who aren't the least bit interested in camp songs and macrame. And it you are wondering how a convicted camp murderer scored a job like that, her therapists gave her great recommendations. That would be like Ted Bundy getting a job as sorority house mother, it does not make sense.</div>
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So of course Angela has to dispose of these buzzkills or as she puts it "sending them home" I can't even appreciate the kill scenes, they are dull and some of them are really disgusting. To make it worse Angela comes equipped with puns that would make Freddy Krueger wince. </div>
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And of course there's the obligatory sex scenes and rampant nudity. The nudity is even written into the script as a minor plot point, showing you how desperate the filmmakers were to distract you from the mundane script and terrible acting.</div>
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The actors are mostly unknown save for two and humorously both of them are celebrity spawn. Pamela Springsteen and Rene Estevez who you might remember also played Betty Finn in Heathers. I wished I had rented Heathers instead of this crapfest.</div>
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Just like the poor campers of this movie, you can't go home again. Sleepaway Camp 2 has proved that fact ten times over. </div>
LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-29680932097693059812012-08-30T22:05:00.001-07:002012-08-31T04:02:04.492-07:00True Blood: A Season in Review (Spoilers! Consider yourself warned. Now that True Blood is on hiatus, let's take a look at the highs and lows of season 5.<br />
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To start with I loved that the season did not completely focus on Sookie. I like Sookie but it was refreshing to have the character step back and give the other characters a chance to shine. For instance, the bromance between Eric and Bill. It was nice to see them do something other than brood and pine over our fairy waitress. Bill is still a douche though, it's not too late for that one way ticket to Peru.<br />
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I wasn't too crazy about the Authority. I loved seeing Tina Marjorino on the show, it's a shame her part was so small. Salome was meh and didn't really come across as interesting. Her multiple sex scenes were just painful to watch since she had no chemistry with any of her male co-stars. I started out disliking Nora but grew to like her especially in the final episode. I look forward to seeing her character next season.<br />
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Sookie's fairy/Warlow storyline I could take or leave. I felt the show dialed back her storyline due to the actress' recent pregnancy. It was nice to explore the fairy world even if the fairy elder was pointless and unnecessary.<br />
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Pam and Tara were just phenomenal. Kristin Bauer van Straten and Rutina Wesley have great chemistry together. I liked how they did not rush them into a relationship and allowed the audience to bond with the characters. I am probably one of the few people who approved of the show turning Tara into a vampire. The last couple of seasons it seemed like the show had no idea what to do with her, besides torture her. Vampire Tara is the bad ass bitch. that the character was always meant to be.<br />
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Speaking of bitches, Hi Jason. I just don't like the character. He's a boring man slut who occasionally angsts over the fact that he is a boring man slut. His new hatred for vampires wasn't interesting in Season 2 and is not interesting now. The only thing he had going for him was Jessica and the show messed that all up.<br />
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And Jessica...can someone please give this character something interesting to do. Deborah Ann Woll is a great actress and she needs a great story line to prove that. Look at the goodbye scene between her and Hoyt for instance. I was also impressed with Hoyt's departure, he was a kind character who deserved a decent exit. Kudos to True Blood for not senselessly killing him off.<br />
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And while we are on the subject of unappreciated characters, let's give Lafayette something to do. Having him run around in a dollar store demon mask was an insult to Nelsan's Ellis' talents.<br />
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Steve Newlin's return was awesome and his relationship with Russell was just adorable. I wished he and Russell could have escaped somehow and moved to a villa in France. I love Russell and hope he survives his final death and makes his way back to us.<br />
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The werewolf story line was all right. It's great to have Robert Patrick back on television and Dale Dickey is awesome as Martha. It was also nice to see Alcide not pining over Sookie and getting back to his werewolf roots.<br />
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I could have done without Terry's past and the Obamas. Terry is a great background character but seriously a smoke monster? Have we resorted to ripping off Lost? Will Sam morph into Vincent and finally become interesting?<br />
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The Obamas were ridiculous. It was a dumb plot that had no place in the season. I didn't care about the previous sheriff nor his square dancing paramour. If the show had really had some balls, Maxine would have been the leader of the anti-sup group. It would have made more sense.<br />
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To quote Jane Bodehouse "When did Andy Bellefluer get so (bleeping) hot?" Out of nowhere he stopped Barney Fife and started being a likable character. His relationship with Holly is so adorable and his fairy mama drama was hysterical. I can't wait to see how he'll deal with the addition of four fairy babies to his already complicated life.<br />
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Season 5 has definitely made up for the nightmare know as the previous season. I look forward to seeing how the next season will pan out.LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-26751779646377534302012-08-16T15:16:00.002-07:002012-08-16T15:26:03.531-07:00Return to Sleepaway Camp<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmmZJEr1o2WNqipM3slg7XhfVMfQqvrdf2pH_t3dIyHRHZD_u93grlcZvDOI1cTqAYDQwPngSj7vbmz4Xg5bcM55WmFC6NoZHPUhXoyrKbS4teDh8es9w_xnWM1qDtRdzbYHzu4CXFn7A/s1600/return_to_sleepaway_camp.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmmZJEr1o2WNqipM3slg7XhfVMfQqvrdf2pH_t3dIyHRHZD_u93grlcZvDOI1cTqAYDQwPngSj7vbmz4Xg5bcM55WmFC6NoZHPUhXoyrKbS4teDh8es9w_xnWM1qDtRdzbYHzu4CXFn7A/s320/return_to_sleepaway_camp.jpg" width="225" /></a></div> <br />
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I guess the old adage is true; you can't go home again. And nothing proves this theory more than Return to Sleepaway Camp.<br />
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<i>Return</i> picks up where the original left off and ignores the previous installments of Sleepaway Camp 2 and 3. Unfortunately it also ignores a coherent script and likable characters. And topping off the list of unlikable characters is our "protagonist" Alan.<br />
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Alan is supposed to the kid that everyone bullies similar to Angela from the first film. The difference between the two is that you actually could root for Angela. You felt bad for this quiet strange girl that the majority of the camp abused, you had sympathy.<br />
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Alan on the other hand is obnoxious and violent. In fact, he is worse than the so-called bullies that torment him. He's like that kid in school who punches you for no reason then goes crying to the teacher when you hit back. He also has a catchphrase, "Your ass stinks." A pointless little sentence is that is used far too often in the films. The movie hand waves his bad behavior by giving him some kind of disorder but it still doesn't make him likable.<br />
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It was good to see Paul DeAngelo, Jonathan Tiersten, and Felissa Rose return. It kept the movie from being a total waste of time. I do admit to feeling gypped about how little time Felissa got in the film. And that stupid post credits scene involving her did not make up for it. The film also features Vincent Pastore as the camp owner and Issac Hayes as the token black chef with minimal screen time. Hayes died soon after filming this movie, a sad end to an otherwise great career.<br />
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If you loved the original Sleepaway Camp, you'll despise this one. This film is only worth viewing for the return of the original cast and some decent kill scenes.<br />
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LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-39387371975536795132012-08-09T22:50:00.001-07:002012-08-10T01:25:42.201-07:00ATM Hi readers, summer came and stole me away but I have returned. Today I attempt to deposit some interest into the movie, ATM.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi7le7-H37exij3TJy3YLLYxNPUh9e9u_qqN7qm7YYP8wihkK0ucZXZ80x-CP9U70tT1svhCv2B1VXsbh-7i1MV1QysSwILXZszhBbCbKyJQnmPdWP_wCzo8OyzRMkEu30WMpl3qVCoAY/s1600/ATMposter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi7le7-H37exij3TJy3YLLYxNPUh9e9u_qqN7qm7YYP8wihkK0ucZXZ80x-CP9U70tT1svhCv2B1VXsbh-7i1MV1QysSwILXZszhBbCbKyJQnmPdWP_wCzo8OyzRMkEu30WMpl3qVCoAY/s320/ATMposter.jpg" width="220" /></a></div><br />
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ATM is what I call a trapped in the closet movie. The usually unlikable characters (and the poor viewers) get trapped somewhere and spend the next hour or so boring people to death. Devil did it. P2 did it. And sadly, ATM is no exception.<br />
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All mild-mannered David wants to do is ferry his longtime crush home from a Christmas party. Unfortunately, he is forced to take a drunken co-worker home as well. One pizza craving later and our dense little trio find themselves held hostage in an ATM booth by a parka wearing killer.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF4Slsoull4hi8krJswS6T5eTDVjPiF-0xtYiPLyujwpj-fc7wcRBbZxGKrRo6v8YJY6msTcTf8oXCu6IrIiyAX1kNQoA_qgrxweelOpP_rUdoN0wSS1k4vilTEplyIWD-EdNPiXnMiZY/s1600/atm2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF4Slsoull4hi8krJswS6T5eTDVjPiF-0xtYiPLyujwpj-fc7wcRBbZxGKrRo6v8YJY6msTcTf8oXCu6IrIiyAX1kNQoA_qgrxweelOpP_rUdoN0wSS1k4vilTEplyIWD-EdNPiXnMiZY/s320/atm2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
ATM is claustrophobic and seriously lacking in suspense. It's a ludicrous premise where we are supposed to believe that an ATM can be easily shut down. We are supposed to believe that three able-bodied grownups cannot outrun or even beat the crap out of a lone killer.<br />
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The characters are cowardly, neurotic, and obnoxious. You wouldn't hold an elevator door for these a-holes let alone care whether they lived or died. The ending is the biggest insult to the viewers. It tries to portray this killer as some kind of evil genius on a mission. This is a guy who literally stood outside waiting for these fucktards to accidentally kill each other. It's like putting three scorpions in a jar and watching them duke it out, only the scorpions would be smarter.<br />
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Don't deposit your time and energy in this piece of crap.LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-24734216322919793222012-07-04T11:55:00.000-07:002012-07-04T11:55:22.400-07:00Underworld: Awakening<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio3ppqTOW5EyLfagPRvKzgICnKDvZNOmcYrMWlWUpulfTKusBCGr0gpm44yUzT1X1FfcepVFxHD-iNedB7YzFVIB7kJJelWHPKEi6Q8zUPGqoMvmuHABQqZeZJylR7tKg1zuiESOj5aJ8/s1600/underworld-awakening-movie-hd-wallpaper.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEio3ppqTOW5EyLfagPRvKzgICnKDvZNOmcYrMWlWUpulfTKusBCGr0gpm44yUzT1X1FfcepVFxHD-iNedB7YzFVIB7kJJelWHPKEi6Q8zUPGqoMvmuHABQqZeZJylR7tKg1zuiESOj5aJ8/s320/underworld-awakening-movie-hd-wallpaper.jpg" width="216" /></a></div> <br />
I don't have the best relationship with the Underworld franchise. I liked the first one, cannot remember if I saw the second and have no desire to see the third. But something about Awakening intrigued me enough to rent it.<br />
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Awakening changes the movies to more of a Resident Evil format minus the zombies of course. It's the future and humans have turned on vampires and Lycans wiping them out and sending the rest into hiding. Selene having been frozen for the last twelve years escapes and goes on a search for Michael who has gone missing.<br />
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Kate Beckinsale returns to the franchise and she is simply awesome. She is also surrounded by a strong confident supporting cast consisting of Stephen Rea, Michael Ealy, and India Eisley. Eisley best known for her work on Secret Life is a gem. This is her first big budget movie role and she knocks it right out of the park. Scott Speedman doesn't reprise his role as Michael so archive footage was used for his brief scenes.<br />
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Without Michael the movie is allowed to focus more on action and story lines instead of tragic romance. The special effects are well done and there are some great kills. Introducing humans as the new threat gave the movie a fresh new feel and better story line options. How long could they have really milked the whole Lycan/vampire feud before it got old?<br />
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I recommend this movie to horror fans, even the ones who are lukewarm about sequels.LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-15804479214336213062012-06-04T22:22:00.001-07:002013-02-04T01:42:00.913-08:00Witchboard 2: The Devil's Doorway This movie never had a chance. When you are the Z grade sequel to a B grade film starring Tawny Kitaen, you are pretty much doomed to fail. Just when you thought it was safe to contact the spirits, I bring you Witchboard 2: The Devil's Doorway.<br />
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It's the same old story, girl discovers Ouija board, girl contacts someone evil, girl gets possessed and I die a little inside. The story line is incoherent with underdeveloped red herrings and the most annoying main character I have ever encountered in a horror film.<br />
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Ami Dolenz plays Paige, an aspiring artist who leaves her completely supportive boyfriend to pursue her dreams. She manages to rent a sweet loft that comes with it's own evil Ouija board. She contacts Susan, a former tenant who claims to have been murdered. She becomes suspicious when everyone clams up and claims that she moved suddenly.<br />
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You might remember Ami from that other horror movie, the Tony Danza vehicle known as <i>She's Out of Control</i> and other assorted teeny bopper flicks. It's almost like Witchboard was her failed attempt at having a grown up role. She even uses curse words. Of course, this is hand waved away as a symptom of her possession. She spends the film either whining or fluttering around in white mini dresses. She's about as grown up as a college freshman at her first kegger.<br />
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The red herrings consist of Paige's supportive boyfriend, the least annoying character in the whole picture. He's portrayed as a bad guy because he doesn't support her art. There's also the cute boy next door, the sleazy landlord and his dizzy hippie wife. Laraine Newman plays the dizzy hippie who is also the killer. This might have been an interesting twist if the motive or character had any actual development. Laraine Newman sure loves her terrible '90s sequels, she also appeared in Problem Child 2.<br />
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The ending was complete mess. Paige lived which was a huge disappointment. The motives of both the evil spirit and her murderer are vague and confusing. And the ending was a lame comedic scene which would have been more at home in a Rom Com than a horror film.<br />
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Avoid this movie. It's 98 minutes snatched cruelly from your life.<br />
<br />LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-58911383022101754422012-05-18T00:18:00.003-07:002012-07-02T02:40:22.302-07:00Elvira, we hardly knew ye.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd1pMM0pSEeudjStwYDsds_0oMShde3GMqcDAykAoZwXjkIxGVy85zjU1WyxIRE8wW1huscctEx79A0WKX_C6EdSXNMea-ZcMFYiY6x9pwn7_dQv4sdZlJF1DRcVGJsw6iySYBPwbiqgk/s1600/elvirashow02.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd1pMM0pSEeudjStwYDsds_0oMShde3GMqcDAykAoZwXjkIxGVy85zjU1WyxIRE8wW1huscctEx79A0WKX_C6EdSXNMea-ZcMFYiY6x9pwn7_dQv4sdZlJF1DRcVGJsw6iySYBPwbiqgk/s320/elvirashow02.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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I was trolling around Youtube when I stumbled across this gem: The unaired pilot episode of The Elvira Show. It's a tragedy that this show never made it out of the pilot stage, it was genuinely good.<br />
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The shows stars Cassandra Peterson as the iconic Elvira, a witch living in Kansas. Elvira sets up shop in town as a fortune teller who also sells love potions. When her customer falls ill, Elvira suddenly finds herself being investigated by the town police. Things are further complicated when Elvira's long lost niece moves in and discovers that she too is a witch.<br />
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This show should have gotten a chance. It was genuinely funny and raunchy but in a non-sleazy way. It seemed like a grown up version of Sabrina The Teenage witch: complete with wacky aunts and talking cats. Cassandra Peterson has a knack for the comedic and it especially shows in the pilot episode. Her chemistry with Katherine Helmond, who played her aunt was off the charts. Those two ladies need to do another project together, they work too well together not to.<br />
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Unfortunately this show was shopped around to CBS, which was obviously the wrong channel for this type of show. Too bad it wasn't shopped around when Fox was on the air. The show would have been perfect for the fledgling channel and might have gotten a proper shot. Unfortunately this show debuted a year before the network began.<br />
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If you're an Elvira fan, go to Youtube and look up the pilot. It's a fun way to pass the time.LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-29815687495827511602012-04-28T21:57:00.001-07:002012-05-18T04:44:59.932-07:00The Unwelcome Child<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Terese Pampellone is one of the few female authors who writes true horror. No romances, no wacky mysteries, no love triangles with supernatural beings, just horror. It's tragic that she has only released one novel. But if <i>The Unwelcome Child</i> is the only thing Terese ever publishes, it's a great book to both begin and end your career on.<br />
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<i>The Unwelcome Child</i> centers around Annie Wojtoko, a jaded New York actress. She goes to visit Jan, her pregnant best friend at a B&B which used to be an orphanage/abortion clinic. Annie tries to help Jan who is slowly becoming convinced that her baby is being possessed by a girl who had died tragically there.<br />
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Terese's writing style is reminiscent to the early writings of John Saul, think Hellfire/Nathaniel era. It's dark, atmospheric and unpredictable. Terese uses flashbacks sparingly and slowly introduces you to the characters in the novel. She avoids the chapter long info dump that a lot of horror authors fall into. Slowly gleaning these details about the characters made them feel more real to me. This is a book for a true horror fan and highly recommended. There are a couple of uncomfortable scenes but the book manages to avoid too much gore or unnecessary violence. Warning the book does deal heavily with the pro life/pro choice debates. If that kind of thing deeply offends you, you should probably steer clear.<br />
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The characters aren't perfect and make no apologies for it. You won't find a single Mary Sue or a traditional bad guy. These are flawed characters who don't always do the right thing and you love them for it. Annie in particular is a great character. Sometimes she's likable, sometimes she isn't. She can loyal one moment and completely selfish the next. She's an enigma which is something that you want in a lead character.<br />
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Terese's novel is so well done that I don't mind the tacked on sequel hook that ends the novel. It stays true to the rest of the novel and comes off more like a logical continuation than a desperate attempt at more money.<br />
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I can only hope that this author keeps writing. It would be a shame to see such talent vanish so quickly.LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-19560790149308184482012-04-17T16:30:00.001-07:002012-04-17T16:33:05.986-07:00Tucker & Dale vs. Evil<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Tucker & Dale, in my opinion, is one of the best horror movie parodies I've ever seen. It's genuinely funny, smart and doesn't heavily rely on too much special effects.<br />
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The movies stars Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyck who play a couple of kindhearted rednecks on vacation. They wind up saving the life of a college student and take her back to their cabin to recoup. Her prejudiced friends however mistakenly believe the duo are serial killers and attempt to rescue her.<br />
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It's hard to find a really decent horror movie parody. It's either wall to wall juvenile humor or just completely clueless of the genre they are trying to spoof. Tucker & Dale has some great sight gags that are also subtle. The humor is actually intelligent and the main characters are likable.<br />
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The twist ending was easy to guess but still fun to watch. The even manage to have a love story in the film that doesn't seem like it was shoehorned in. Even the sequel hook was a pleasant surprise, it occurs at the beginning of the film instead of the end. The only problem is that it also proves to be a mini spoiler. This doesn't detract from the film though.<br />
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I have to say Alan Tudyck really is a man of many faces. As I do with any movie, I look up the actors on IMDB. Not only was Tudyck in one of my favorite movies (28 Days) he was also in the V remake which I also adored. And I never made the connection between the two nor did I when I saw Tucker & Dale. Now that is what I call a versatile actor. The film also stars Chelan Simmons, Katrina Bowden, Jesse Moss, and Jay Brandon McLaren.<br />
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For anyone who's ever sat through Wrong Turn or The Hills Have Eyes, this is the perfect film for you.LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-28908170261352389732012-04-03T20:05:00.000-07:002012-04-03T20:05:33.995-07:00Phantom of The Opera: An All New Nightmare<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Seriously worst movie poster ever</td></tr>
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I love Phantom of the Opera. I've seen it live, read the book and even own the soundtrack. I love Robert Englund and I thought that I had seen everything he had done. How a horror version of Phantom starring Englund managed to slip by me I will never know. I must be slipping in my old age.<br />
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Phantom is a perfect blend. It respects the source material while giving it a dose of modern horror. It's more geared towards the novel than the popular musical. However subtle uses of the music are incorporated into the film.<br />
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Englund is delightfully sinister as the Phantom. I love Freddy Krueger and he will always be my favorite horror villain. Sadly though he got downright cartoonish and it seemed an insult to the actor's talents. Robert is perfect for the lead role and is honestly terrifying.<br />
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The film also stars Jill Schoelen who is one of the more underrated scream queens of the '80s. She plays Christine, the object of the Phantom's affection. She can play weak without seeming helpless and bad ass without turning into an action chick. She is the heart of the film and it's sad that the actress never got her proper due. The film also stars Molly Shannon as Christine's nerdy gal pal.<br />
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My only quibble with the film was the ending. In the film, Christine is a wannabe singer in the '80s who travels back in time. After the Phantom is defeated, she wakes up to discover that it was "just a dream" This leads to a painfully long scene where she defeats the Phantom a second time or does she? Yes, there's a tacked on, unnecessary sequel hook.<br />
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The main action took place in the past and already had a fine ending. It did not need a second ending, it seemed rather hastily placed in my opinion.<br />
<br />LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-19516966593435239382012-03-24T21:41:00.000-07:002012-10-15T16:22:37.217-07:0010 Reasons Why The Walking Dead Should Just Kill Lori<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuD4_Qw359YjjDtkS_WwpL7NReV0Uap5xGb0sdRTrsZjpmP585KYDlogMIzajL6Mi_UjFo9EgxaM1a-mxe9Gmv8Ck5qM-Tc0xwRE410dkAL8vutsIDfMucNSbxvyXiuCTcGbSsiC432-E/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuD4_Qw359YjjDtkS_WwpL7NReV0Uap5xGb0sdRTrsZjpmP585KYDlogMIzajL6Mi_UjFo9EgxaM1a-mxe9Gmv8Ck5qM-Tc0xwRE410dkAL8vutsIDfMucNSbxvyXiuCTcGbSsiC432-E/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div>
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This inspired by the College Humor article "<a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6743808/10-reasons-why-the-walking-dead-should-just-kill-carl">10 Reasons Why The Walking Dead Should Just Kill Carl</a>." Granted, Carl is annoying but he's a kid <i>he </i>can still mature. Lori on the other hand...<br />
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1) <b>She is fated to</b>: In the comics Shane and Dale died and Lori is not too far behind story line wise.<br />
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2) <b>She's a shitty mother</b>: She's so obsessed with her daily drama that she virtually ignores her son's existence. It's amazing that he hasn't already joined the ranks of the undead. Let her die and let Carol raise Carl.<br />
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3) <b>She treats Rick like shit</b>: Her husband comes back from the dead and since then has been risking his life to protect her. She repays him by turning her back on him and almost getting him killed by his best friend.<br />
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4) <b>She treated Shane like shit</b>: This guy is the reason she still walks the Earth. He got her out of Atlanta, he protected her and her son. She certainly had no problem with him when she was lying face down in the woods getting impregnated by him. Since Rick's return she alternated between leading him on and putting him down.<br />
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5)<b> She's the shows "moral center" despite not having any</b>: She's quick to judge everyone but God forbid you mentions her screw ups. She stood on the porch smugly glaring at Andrea while Maggie kicked her out. Only when Andrea is out of earshot does she attempt to defend her.<br />
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6) <b>She's June Cleaver on steroids</b>: Her biggest concern this season was the laundry. She even goes so far to chastise Andrea for doing "men's work" while all the women were doing chores.<br />
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7) <b>She's a liability</b>: She leaves the safety of the farm on a fool's mission, crashes her car on a deserted road, and almost gets eaten by a zombie. All in the span of a few hours.<br />
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8) <b>She's expendable:</b> Unless the shows goal is to piss off the audience then she has no place there. She's whiny, doesn't fight or even protect herself, a perpetual damsel in distress. She contributes nothing to the show except headaches.<br />
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9) <b>She's a waste of a good actress</b>: Check out some of Sarah Wayne Callies' other works sometimes. She is talented but is completely wasted in such a one dimensional role.<br />
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10) <b>She's better off undead: </b>Let's see she loves doing monotonousness chores, hates thinking for herself, and is quick to attack her loved ones. Perfect zombie material.LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7440022665218433783.post-41541701215057521372012-03-19T14:08:00.000-07:002012-03-19T14:08:50.873-07:00The Walking Dead: A Season In Review After a slow start, Walking Dead really stepped up to the plate and made us fall in love again. Here are just some random thoughts on this season.<br />
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-Its about time Rick started showing some spine. This is a Rick that I want to see, not the angst ridden mess he was before<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN1IkdeqH81crMm2S4LrG9PrfMplYvhEvPh5J35ZwbpTv7YZDGdCgD_Hp-68yVFYeWpn1qlF5RusZnSvlAOVeRPif6dqwBMyFNpqYP_Ax0UZMt1Hit7OSjHyxusLCx_cCsxaJ49-b9JzA/s1600/Walking-Dead-Review4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN1IkdeqH81crMm2S4LrG9PrfMplYvhEvPh5J35ZwbpTv7YZDGdCgD_Hp-68yVFYeWpn1qlF5RusZnSvlAOVeRPif6dqwBMyFNpqYP_Ax0UZMt1Hit7OSjHyxusLCx_cCsxaJ49-b9JzA/s320/Walking-Dead-Review4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> -See this Andrea? This is the girl I want to see next season, not the suicidal butt monkey she was this season. They are wasting a great character and a talented actress. And if she bitch smacks Lori just once, she will be my hero.<br />
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- Speaking of Lori, what a passive aggressive waste of space she has been. Half the time she was cock teasing Shane and the urging Rick to put him in his place. How can you like a character whose biggest concern is ring around the collar?<br />
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- I was impressed by the deaths of some of the main characters. I was worried the show was going to wuss out and just kill secondary characters.<br />
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- I must say I was shocked when one of the farmer's daughters and that other dude died. It was mostly because I forgot they even existed. No more random background characters please.<br />
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- And speaking of random characters, can we get T-Dog a plot already? Something that doesn't involve him vanishing for episodes at a time.<br />
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- How is it one lone gunshot can attract a forest full of zombies when a out and out gunfight didn't?<br />
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- We finally learn what Jenner told Rick, and it was completely anti-climatic. To quote Buffy "Does the word Duh mean anything to you?"<br />
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- Can we wrap up some old story lines next season? Like whatever happened to Morgan and his son or Darryl's brother for example.<br />
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- We have the prison. We have Michonn. We better have the governor sooner rather than later.<br />
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- Despite all the deaths, this particular scene was strangely heartbreaking. A subtle nod to when things were a little better for our band of survivors.<br />
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All in all great season. I will definitely be tuning in next season.LadyJ3000http://www.blogger.com/profile/16688055234500893289noreply@blogger.com0