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Saturday, October 15, 2011

31 Days Of Horror #15: Slaughter High

   Trust me the poster is the coolest thing this film has to offer. There are some movies where you root for the killer. Not because you feel sympathy for him or understand him but because his victims are all pretentious a-holes. They are so annoying that you do not want them to exist fictional or otherwise.

   We meet school nerd, Marty played by Simon Scuddamore. Sadly, Scuddamore committed suicide shortly after the film wrapped. Like all '80s nerds he is tormented by the popular kids on a daily basis.
   As far as bullies in an '80s teen movies go, these guys are the worst. They stab him in the crotch with a javelin. They give him a poison laced joint. And finally they cause poor Marty to be scarred by acid and leave school. The budding sociopaths move on with their lives.

    Years later, the gang is mysteriously invited to a reunion. Every character in this films is an idiot. When your class reunion only consists of the people who disfigured a boy all those years ago, somethings up. This brings us to one of the film's most awesome kills, a beer that blows up someone's stomach.

   The gang wises up to the fact that they are trapped in a school with a killer. So they do what comes natural to stupid people in horror films, they split up. And have sex and take long luscious baths and generally just be dumb asses. This just gives Marty more opportunities for ingenious kills like and acid bathtub or an electric bed. Marty is the most likable character in the film.

   Then something terrible happens we find out that it was all just a dream. Marty is in an institution conjuring up elaborate fantasies about revenge. This is a bummer, these characters were awful, awful, people. Death is the kindest thing Marty could do for them.

    But the tacked on sequel ending had Marty killing a doctor and nurse and possibly escaping the hospital. Let's hope that little scamp makes all his fantasies come true. I know I sound psycho but watch this movie. Trust me you'll hate the other characters as much as I do.