They Shoot Housewives Don't They?

So awhile ago I had the "pleasure" of watching Casualties of Love: The Long Island Lolita Story on Lifetime. I wanted to find the other movies since it has been ages since I have seen them. Thanks to the awesomeness of cable and Netflix, I finally got my wish. Here's how the three movies stacked up.

Amy Fisher: My Story a.k.a Lethal Lolita (1992) : . This NBC offering is from Amy Fisher's point of view. Typical tale of a teen seduced by a married man and convinced to kill his wife. Amy sold her rights to her story to help with her bail. NBC was originally going to air it on January 17th until they learned that CBS and ABC were airing their versions 4 days prior. The film ended up airing on December 28 of 1992.
Newcomer Noelle Parker plays Amy. She is the best Amy of the trilogy, in accent and looks. The movie doesn't sanitize or gloss over the gritty details. Unfortunately it gets boring rather quickly. A half hour of the movie is literally Amy arguing with Joey, he doesn't want her dating other guys but refuses to leave his wife for her. Or Amy arguing with her lover Paul, he wants her to leave Joey but refuses to leave his girlfriend for her. Ad nauseum. The movie ends with Amy going to prison regretting ever meeting Joey.

Casualties of Love: The "Long Island Lolita" Story: This version aired on CBS in January of 1993. It is obviously from the Buttafuccos point of view. Joey is portrayed as a faithful husband and father tormented by a teenage seductress. The movie ends with Amy getting her just desserts as the family rejoices. Alyssa Milano shed her good girl image in order to play Amy. As far as accuracy goes, Milano is the least believable in the trilogy. Alyssa makes no real effort to channel Amy and she comes off as one note and boring.

It's understandable though. It's the Buttafucco's version so they concentrate more on themselves and not so much on Amy. Reportedly they were paid 30,000 for their story.

The Amy Fisher Story a.k.a Beyond Control (1993): To this day, I still have no idea whose point of view this story is supposed to be from. I don't even think that ABC knew. Half the movie portrays Amy as a poor misled girl being unfairly punished. The other half portrays Amy as a manipulating, sex driven, seductress determined to get her way at all costs.

Drew Barrymore played Amy Fisher in this film. While she may not have looked too much like Amy, she did a good job of behaving like her. Her accent is halfway decent and if anyone fits the persona of a Lethal Lolita, Drew does.

I didn't like this film when it first aired but second time around I adored it. This version in my opinion is the most fun and entertaining of the trilogy. B grade cheesiness at it's finest.

Retro Flashback: Dance Til Dawn

For starters, this has to one of the worst DVD covers I have ever seen. This screams bad photo shop in large, pink, neon letter. Dance 'Til Dawn is from the same era as Camp Cucamonga where networks crammed their latest and greatest stars into TV movies for our amusement.

The plot of the film consists of a group of students and some parents on the evening of their prom. The film stars Christina Applegate as Patrice, a snooty princess who is determined to make prom the best night ever. Check out future Friends star, Matthew Perry as her much beleaguered boyfriend, Roger.


Alyssa Milano plays Shelley who is dumped by her sex-crazed boyfriend (Brian Bloom) the day before prom. Determined not to let anyone find out, she winds up hiding out with the school geek, Dan. Dan is hiding from his father (Alan Thicke) who is under the mistaken impression that his son is popular.


Alyssa Milano was very hard to buy in this role. She didn't even look old enough for high school, let alone being a senior. It is even harder to accept when she interacts with her older looking cast members.

Tracy Gold plays Angela, a nerdy girl with over protective parents. She is asked to the prom by Shelley's ex boyfriend, Dan, who believes that she will be an easy conquest. Unbeknown to her, her parents (played by Kelsey Grammer and Edie McClurg) are following her and watching her every move.

The movie is a typical and predictable '80s fare. All the good kids get their happy endings and the bad kids get their comeuppance. The adults don't really seem to have a place in the film and it would've been a better idea to keep it the parent free haven most '80s films were.

This film is still entertaining and a must watch for fans of the '80s.

Casualties of Love: The Long Island Lolita Story

Now this film will not get the play by play that I reserve for Lifetime movies. This movie was so bad that I found myself fast forwarding through a large portion of this.

In 1993, it was all about Amy Fisher. The story of a teenage girl allegedly shooting her lover's wife per his request captivated the tabloid nation. And the television movie world as well. ABC, NBC, and CBS all aired their own versions of the so called Lethal Lolita dramedy.

This one is CBS' offering and seems to be the Buttafucco's version of the events. This agonizing dull film paints the Buttafucco's as a perfect family torn apart by an obsessed teen. Joey is innocent the films screams loudly over and over.

This film is dull and melodramatic. While they did well casting Joey and Mary Jo, casting Alyssa Milano is way, way, way off. Not only does she not look a thing like Amy Fisher, she didn't make an attempt to look like her. All she does is bounce around in tight jeans and a fake Jersey accent and look embarrassed doing so. Drew Barrymore played Amy in the ABC version. She also didn't look like Amy but at least she tried.

The ending is laughable at best. Evil Amy is convicted as the vindicated Buttafucco's look on. Joey does not get busted for stat rape and he and Mary Jo embrace and live happily ever after.

Avoid this one. If you simply must watch a Amy Fisher movie then watch Amy Fisher: My Story. It isn't as smutty as Drew's or as blatantly boring as this one.