LadyJ's Top 10 Of Music Videos

Remember the olden days when MTV played these wacky three or four minute movies set to music. Remember when VH-1 also showed those odd little things. Nowadays the so called music video channels might show an actual video interspersed with the loads upon loads of reality television but that's once in a blue moon. In honor of this lost television art I present my list of the ten best videos I've ever seen. If you want to watch the video just click on the title of the songs and it will lead you to the Youtube link.

10# Cryin by Aerosmith:

Before Clueless and Batman and Robin, Alicia Silverstone was best known as the "Aerosmith Girl". She had appeared in three videos off of their Get A Grip album. Cryin was the first. Silverstone plays a young girl obsessed with a guy (Stephen Dorff) who pretty much treats her like crap. She begins acting out eventually getting his attention and telling him to get lost in a single breath. Lost fans can spot the future Sawyer Ford (Josh Holloway) at 3:45 in the video.

9. Bad Girl by Madonna

This video is from Madonna's 1992 Erotica Album and seems to borrow from the 70s film Looking For Mr. Goodbar. Madonna plays a reckless, cold-hearted business woman on the edge of a nervous breakdown. She spends her evenings getting loaded and taking home strange men. Unknown to her she being watched by an angel (Christopher Walken) who finds himself enamored with her. This is an intense and amazing video that shows us a more honest side of Madonna.

8.Toxic by Britney Spears

This in my humble opinion is one of Britney's more innovative videos from her 2001 self-titled album. She plays a spy who dons a variety of disguises in order to obtain a vial of poison in which to use on what I presume to be an ex-lover. It seems to have Alias type vibe to it and features actor Taye Diggs in the motorcycle segment. It's fun and creative, not like the other videos where Britney just dances and writhes around.

7.Freedom '90 by George Michael

In 1987, George Michael created an image for him with his Faith album instantly becoming a notable pop star. However by 1990 he was quick to jetison that image and Freedom '90 was that image's swan song. George Michael refused to appear in the video and instead hired the biggest supermodels of the time to mouth the lyrics. The models were Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, Cindy Crawford, Tatjana Patitz, and Christy Turlington. He took potshots at his Faith image by blowing up his trademark jukebox and burning the trademark jacket that appeared in his Faith video. It's a great F.U. to an image he had long outgrown.

6.November Rain by Guns N' Roses

This epic video also spelled the end to this band's career but what a way to end. Based on Del James' short story Without You, we follow the love, marriage, and eventual death of a couple (played by Guns N' Roses lead singer Axl Rose and then girlfriend Stephanie Seymour). Interspersed with these scenes is the band playing among a huge orchestra and a killer shot of Slash's guitar solo in the desert. This video is breathtaking with great symbolic scenes and just IMHO the best power ballad ever made.

5.Three Little Pigs by Green Jelly

Take the three little pigs, throw in a falsetto cameo by the lead singer of Tool, ganja, Harley's and Rambo and you have a pretty kick ass video. Done entirely in claymation this 1992 video only debuted as a video not a single. The only way to get the song at the time was to buy a pink vinyl 45. This innovative video helped propel this song to #17 on the Billboard charts.

4.Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper

Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time is probably the only video to make me cry every time I see it. Cyndi plays a girl who's outgrown the small time she lives in. The only thing keeping her there is her boyfriend whom she loves. She eventually leaves and her boyfriend momentarily agrees to leave with her, however he chickens out at the last moment. She tearfully watches him as she prepares for her new life. It's just amazing and makes great use of such an emotional song.

3.Pleasure Principle by Janet Jackson

This video may seem a little stark in contrast with the other videos but I love it just the same. It's simplicity is probably what makes this video the most striking. It showcases what made Janet an '80s phenomenon in the first place her dance moves and her voice. The song can be found on her 1986 album Control

2.Always by Bon Jovi

This single from Bon Jovi's 1994 Crossroads album potrays the good and eventual bad times of a couple (played by Jack Noseworthy and Carla Gugino). They are intensely happy and very attracted to one another. Until he attempts to hook up with another girl while she's away. She catches them and runs off eventually meeting and hooking up with an artist who paints her nude. The next day she decides to take her boyfriend back only to have him freak out over her infidelity. She says Goodbye and he ends up destroying her lover's apartment and presumably is on the run. He is last seen in a Mexican hotel obviously still haunted by her. This video is just perfect and I can't get enough of watching it. The video also start Keri Russell as the "other woman" and Jason Wiles as the painter.

1.Take On Me by A-Ha

This video from 1985's Hunting High And Low is ahead of it's time. It bears a great blend of live action and animation in a time where CGI was unheard of. We see a young woman in a diner reading a comic about a motorcycle racer. She is stunned when the studly star of the comic pulls her into the pages. Their moment together is interrupted by the comic's antagonists and she manages to flee the comic only to find her cartoon lover presumably dead. She brings the comic home and sees him fighting to break free of his world in order to join her in hers. It's innovative and withstands time.

Joel McHale Is A Stand Up Kind Of Guy

Sorry for the ghetto copy clip but that was the only one currently up on Youtube


For those of you who don't know Joel McHale is the host of E's The Soup. The Soup takes the major gossip, movie trailers, and television clips and provides some wicked satiric commentary on them. But in the last episode he also proves he has a heart with his small tribute to Heath Ledger in the above clip.

Unlike a lot of celebs Heath Ledger mostly avoided humiliating himself in front of the paps and devoted his life to his work and his family. Of course tabloids hate that and have been trying their damnedest to find something unflattering about him. And unlike some other people who shall remain nameless who were quick to make fun of him, Joel took the high road. That's of of the many reason I love Joel McHale.

One Missed Call

For me to say a horror movie is awful is pretty much a death knell for the film. Why you ask? Simple when it comes to horror films my standards are pretty low. I love horror movies from the very good to the very godawful. The awful ones are great because even in their badness it's still entertaining.

One Missed Call is a complete bore with a dull script, absolutely no character development, and a confusing ending. The movie follows Beth Raymond, a young girl who's friends start dropping like flies. Prior to their deaths each of them received a voice mail with a recording of their deaths and the exact time they perish. Beth has received the same message and is desperate to keep this from happening to her. She is joined Det. Jack Andrews whose own sister was the victim of this curse.

The real tragedy is that they Americanized a pretty awesome Japanese film and turned it into the most boring mess. Plus the actor and actresses talents are wasted here. The film stars Shannyn Sossaman as Beth, Ed Burns as Jack, the always talentes Azura Skye in the blink and you'll miss it role of Leeann, and Margaret Cho who is wasted as a co-worker of Jack's.

Steer clear of this film at all costs.

Dead Silence

Dead boring is more like it. I hunkered down for what I thought would be simple ghost story only to lose two hours I will never get back. The only thing scary about this film is the fact that it exists.

Jamie Ashen (Ryan Kwanten) returns to his former hometown and estranged father after the brutal murder of his wife. Believing that Mary Shaw, a ventriliquist who was murdered long ago is responsible, he begins to investigate her in the hope of finding answers. He's trailed by Detective Lipton (Donnie Wahlberg) who doesn't believe that Jamie is innocent of his wife's murder.

The movie is dull, hard to follow, and wastes too much time with long drawn out "suspense" scenes instead of cobbling together a decent plot. The ending is flat out stupid and predictable and Wahlberg normally a decent actor seems to be phoning it in.

Beware the stare of Mary Shaw
She had no children, only dolls
And if you see her, Do not scream
Or she'll rip your tongue out at the seam.

If only Mary Shaw had ripped out my eyes before I watched this crap.

Rain

Rain is a straight to DVD film based on (IMHO) one of the weakest series in the V.C. Andrews oeuvre. Rain is a series/film following a biracial girl who leaves the ghetto after her younger sister is murdered. At her adoptive mother's request she moves in with her maternal grandmother and enter the white bred world of the uber-rich.

The movie is flat out confusing and chops out large parts of the novel. Her "brother" Roy despite being a major prescence in the novel vanishes near the beginning, her real brother Brody who had a crush on Rain (but not knowing they were related) and her real sister never make an appearance and the film is saddled with a lame subplot about gang bangers following Rain to her grandmother's and demanding that she steal for them. The acting is mostly dull and uninspired (save for Khandi Alexander and Faye Dunaway of course). They sacrifice plot for long drawn out scenes of Rain singing,despite the fact that in the novel Rain was an actress. The ending does follow the novels but seems like a desperate grab for a sequel as opposed to a proper ending.

This is the second V.C. Andrews novel brought to the "big screen" and the second one to fail. Andrews' first novel Flowers in The Attic also was a disaster with the whole incest storyline chopped out and the ending was a complete washout that disabled any chance of a sequel. V.C. Andrews are dark, twisted, Gothic horror featuring incest, rape, child abuse etc etc. When you try to whitewash a novel clearly written for "adult" into a film that you want the "tweens" to see you negate the whole point of bringing a novel to the screen.

There are rumors that Lifetime is bringing the Landry series to the small screen with a miniseries saddled with the unfortunate title of The Landry. Maybe the third time will be a charm.

Dirty Dancing: The Series

While on Youtube I stumbled upon the pilot for a tv series based on the movie, Dirty Dancing. I was aghast while I was expecting a spin off or a rip off, but not a complete bastardization.

In this series Baby is not a Houseman but in reality the daughter of Mr Kellerman the owner of the resort. Her parents are divorced and there is no mention of a sister. The gawky sister role is fulfilled by a cousin whom Baby is forced to share a room with.

Baby comes to Kellerman's for the summer in order to reconnect with her estranged father. She asks for a job and is immediately given the job of talent coordinator. The original talent coordinator Johnny is put off by Baby's arrival and does his best to make her feel like an outcast.

Of course Baby and Johnny are attracted to one another, of course Baby defies her father and does the big dance scene thus winning his approval, and blah blah blah. The cast consisted of The Office's Melora Hardin as Baby, Mash star Mclean Stevenson playing her father, and Constance Marie played Penny.

Penny is the most irritating casting choice on the show. She goes from being a tall, blond, Caucasian to a short, brunette, Latino. They even go as far as to imply that the she is jealous of Baby and Johnny when in the film they are just close friends. Neal who was once the conceited son or grandson of Mr Kellerman turns into a sleazetastic lifeguard whom Baby's father wants her to date.

In a word the pilot is so awful you can't stand to watch it but cannot look away. I assumed it was just a pilot and was stunned to learn it had ran a whole season. For the love of God when will people realize that television shows based on movies hardly work. There are some shining gems but they are rare indeed.

Tin Man

The Sci-Fi channel's miniseries The Tin Man is a fun and inventive movie with an original script an awesome script.

This re imagining of Frank L. Baum's Oz series stars Zooey Deschanel, Alan Cumming, Richard Dreyfuss, and Kathleen Robertson. The main character is DG (Deschanel) a farm girl who feels she doesn't belong anywhere.

A sudden storm transports her to the Outer Zone (a.k.a the O.Z.) and she learns that her real mother is trapped by an evil sorceress (Robertson) who is seeking and emerald that only D.G. knows about but does not remember the location.

She is soon joined by former court advisor Glitch (theScarecrow), a former police officer seeking revenge (Tin Man) and Raw a cowardly beast able to heal and read minds (Cowardly Lion). They are off to find the Mystic Man and save the O.Z. from eternal darkness.

Normally Sci-Fi's movies are bottom of the barrel garbage but Tin Man shines like the emeralds the characters are seeking. There's a great blend, of drama, action, and comedy and an original take on the OZ series.

You can try to catch it on the Sci-Fi channel, the DVD will be released March 2008.