My Apologies

  I messed up and got too busy but will review more 8 more films as promised.

31 Days Of Horror #15: Slaughter High

   Trust me the poster is the coolest thing this film has to offer. There are some movies where you root for the killer. Not because you feel sympathy for him or understand him but because his victims are all pretentious a-holes. They are so annoying that you do not want them to exist fictional or otherwise.

   We meet school nerd, Marty played by Simon Scuddamore. Sadly, Scuddamore committed suicide shortly after the film wrapped. Like all '80s nerds he is tormented by the popular kids on a daily basis.
 
   As far as bullies in an '80s teen movies go, these guys are the worst. They stab him in the crotch with a javelin. They give him a poison laced joint. And finally they cause poor Marty to be scarred by acid and leave school. The budding sociopaths move on with their lives.

    Years later, the gang is mysteriously invited to a reunion. Every character in this films is an idiot. When your class reunion only consists of the people who disfigured a boy all those years ago, somethings up. This brings us to one of the film's most awesome kills, a beer that blows up someone's stomach.

   The gang wises up to the fact that they are trapped in a school with a killer. So they do what comes natural to stupid people in horror films, they split up. And have sex and take long luscious baths and generally just be dumb asses. This just gives Marty more opportunities for ingenious kills like and acid bathtub or an electric bed. Marty is the most likable character in the film.

   Then something terrible happens we find out that it was all just a dream. Marty is in an institution conjuring up elaborate fantasies about revenge. This is a bummer, these characters were awful, awful, people. Death is the kindest thing Marty could do for them.

    But the tacked on sequel ending had Marty killing a doctor and nurse and possibly escaping the hospital. Let's hope that little scamp makes all his fantasies come true. I know I sound psycho but watch this movie. Trust me you'll hate the other characters as much as I do.

31 Days Of Horror #14: Cheerleader Camp

A.K.A Bloody Pom Poms

  For starters I love this poster it reminds me of an R.L. Stine cover. Cheerleader Camp is one of those so bad it's good kind of movies.

   The films stars Betsy Russell, a veteran actress of bad '80s movies such as Avenging Angel, Private School, and Tomboy. She plays Alison, an All American good girl cracking under the strain of being perfect. She and her bevy of bimbos are attending Camp Hurrah for the summer. Unfortunately nobody in a hockey mask comes to put us out of our misery.

    Alison begins being plagued by hallucinations and bad dreams. This stress keeps her from knocking boots with the dreamy Leif Garrett who finds other pom poms to shake. Soon the bodies start piling up and Alison is unsure if she's a killer or just a scapegoat for someone else.

    The killer is predictable but not because of a bad script. If you watch the trailer on Youtube, you will see every single character who dies. It's called process of elimination not that the script tries too hard to retain any sense of mystery. The movie is too busy devoting it's time to jiggly, bouncy breasts and bad dialogue.

    The ending is actually good with Alison being convinced that she is the killer. The real killer dances in victory as Alison heads off to a future of  shock therapy and Xanax.

    But as far as '80s slasher films go this is still pretty decent. If you can sit through a Jason film then you can definitely appreciate this one.

31 Days Of Horror #9-13: The Child's Play Movie Guide

   I am very bad blogger. To make up for missing five days, I've decided to do one of my movie guides spanning five movies. Lazy and irresponsible, I know, but hopefully fun.

  Child's Play (1988): A young boy's dream come true becomes a nightmare after his toy becomes possessed by a serial killer.

   The Good: Child's Play was an edgy and original addition to the slasher genre. It had some good scare scenes, some original death scenes and could be funny without appearing cartoonish. Brad Dourif is an incredible voice actor and does the impossible, makes a doll appear really scary.

   The Bad: Child's Play is hindered by an uneven storyline and unnecessary characters. Even though you know from the start that Chucky is the killer, they try to make you think it was the little boy. That red herring tactic would've made more sense if everything associated with the film wasn't Chucky based.

  Notable Stars: Catherine Hicks, Dinah Manoff, and Chris Sarandon. The true tragedy is that Sarandon is a fine actor but even he couldn't make too much out of his role.

 Child's Play 2 (1990): Proving that you can keep a good doll, Chucky's back to wreck havoc on Andy's life.


   The Good: Even it's worst films the Child's Play franchise has two things to be proud of humor and creative kills. That is the only thing that really saves this film from being a total snooze fest.

   The Bad: Child's Play 2 is simply a tepid rehash of part one. Once again the movie tries to make Andy look like the bad guy when the audience knows that the killer is Chucky. There are way too many characters introduced to simply be killed off moments later.

 The thing that really ticks me off about the movie is the way they got rid of Andy's mother. She is alleged to have been committed due to her rantings about Chucky. Which would have made sense if two police officers hadn't seen Chucky alive and well at the end of the first films. What about them? Were they committed to? A simple throwaway line about what happened to them would've been cool.

    Notable Stars: Jenny Agutter, Graham Gerrit, and Christine Elise. Oddly, newcomer Elise outshines the two more seasoned actors in the film.

   Child's Play 3 (1991) A now teen aged Andy finds himself battling his childhood foe once again.

    The Good: Nothing

    The Bad: This is by far the worst installment in the franchise. Even the world's most creative kills and funniest lines would save this film. There is nothing redeemable about this film, the characters are unpleasant assholes, heroes and villains alike. Even the doll appears dismayed at being involved with this crap fest.

    The whole point of the first two movies was that Andy is the only way Chucky can resurrect himself. However now the writers go oops never mind any kid will do. This won't be the first time a sequel messes with the mythology of the series but it is the the worst.

   Bride of Chucky (1998): Chucky is back and better than ever and this time he is not alone.

   The Good: The best part about hitting rock bottom is that you can only go up. And up this movie goes. Bride of Chucky is a perfect synergy of humor, action, and horror. The actors are phenomenal and really get into their roles. The kills are simply filled with over the top awesomeness. Plus this film has one of the best horror movie soundtracks of all time

   The Bad: Nothing it's just that awesome.

  Notable Stars: Jennifer Tilly, Katherine Heigl, John Ritter, Alexis Arquette, and Kathy Najimy in a hilarious cameo. Jennifer Tilly and Brad Douriff who voices Chucky are an awesome pair with an amazing chemistry.

 Seed of Chucky: Chucky has a baby. "Whoop De Doo Basil!"

 The Good: The film gives actress Jennifer Tilly considerable screen time as Tiffany and herself. She is the only thing that saves this otherwise dreadful film.

  The Bad: Where to start the uneven story lines, the desperate attempts at humor and cavalcade of celebrity cameos. The majority of the film centers on Glen, son of Chucky and Tiffany. Is he a boy or girl, a killer or hero? Who cares? It's like someone ate the other four Chucky scripts and puked up this mess. The film even resorts to toiler humor to garner a couple of laughs. The Child's Play franchise may have been gory but they were never juvenile avoid at all costs.

  Notable Stars: Tilly and Dourff revise their roles dragging Redman and John Waters along for the ride.

31 Days Of Horror #8: Return of the Living Dead 3

Welcome to the O.C. bitch.

 
   In my opinion Return of the Living Dead 3 is one of the most well-written and thought provoking zombie films in recent history. For the most part the Return series was mostly campy and light hearted, more gore than actual story. This film however changes the rules and the result is 97 minutes of awesome.

   We meet teenage lovers Curt and Julie, Curt's father is a soldier experimenting with Trioxin, the zombie-creating gas from the first two movies. When the project goes sour, Curt's father is dismissed and relocated. An angry Curt runs away with Julie but she winds up dying in a motorcycle accident. Curt sneaks into the labs to bring her back to life.

  At first Julie seems alright but is soon gripped by the urge to eat brains. Unlike typical zombies, she is still self-aware and tries to fight her deadly urges. She learns that intense pain can stave off craving and does some damage that would make any masochist proud. The unlikely couple finds themselves on the run from gangsters, the military, and zombies alike.

   This is probably one of the few zombie films that you see from a first person point of view. Julie comes off as sympathetic and not just a bumbling bag of flesh in search of brains. I was impressed by the actress who played Julie, Melinda Clarke from the O.C. I didn't think much of her acting but this film changed my mind.

  The ending is quite beautiful and tragic which is what really sets this film apart from other movies in this genre. This is a must see for zombie fans even if you do find yourself tearing up at the end. If you are squeamish though, you might want to give this film a past. It is a lot gorier than your standard zombie fare.

31 Days Of Horror #7: The Initation of Sarah

   As far as horror goes, this film is a toss-up, it does have the common elements of a horror movie but it is also an ABC Family production.

   To start off I have never seen the '78 film so I have no basis of comparison. I do know that actress Morgan Fairchild appeared in both of them. The film is about two twin sisters Sarah and Lindsay who are heading off to college. Sarah has had some problems in the past and the girls hope to have a fresh start.

  Their mother urges them to join her sorority, Alpha Nu headed by the prim and proper Corrine. The girls are also being wooed by Pi Epsilon Delta headed by a the slightly odd Doctor Hunter. It turns out that Alpha plans to sacrifice Sarah in an effort to keep their youth and powers.

   The movie is pretty decent, it lacks gore and only has a couple of murders that take place off screen. The actors are pretty awesome, Mika Boorem who plays Sarah is a likable heroine. Jennifer Tilly as always is seductive and gets a couple of good one-liners throughout the film. The films also stars Amber Wallace a talented but woefully underused actress.

  Summer Glau is also in this film but she really is a blank slate, there is none of the awesomeness that she would later bring to Firefly and TSCC.

   The film also gets some serious awesome points for featuring T.Rex's Children of the Revolution for the climatic end battle. This is one the few films with sequel hooks that made me actually want a follow up film. This is a great film for horror and non horror fans alike.

31 Days Of Horror #6: Maximum Overdrive

 
Many people have trashed Maximum Overdrive but I am not one of them. To me, this film is one of the better Stephen King film adaptations. There is action, comedy, cool cars, kickass music, and hot chicks, everything the '80s stood for.

   The movie based on the King short story Trucks where the very things that man made turn on them. The main action takes place at a tiny truck stop in North Carolina where a few survivors plot to escape. However they are surrounded by thousand hungry trucks demanding to be fed or else.

  Yeah flimsy plot but the movie manages to overcome it. You got what is probably Emilio Estevez's best role since Breakfast Club. A soundtrack consisting of nothing but AC/DC. The voice of Lisa Simpson, Yeardley Smith playing a neurotic newlywed. Marla Maples killed by a watermelon. Or the obligatory Stephen King cameo where he gets to utter this awesome line "Honey! C'mon over here, Sugar-buns. This machine just called me an asshole!"

  The kills are phenomenal, steamrollers, soda machines, and video games get to lay waste to the humans who underestimated them. There is not a single death scene in this picture that isn't worth applause.

 
Even the star of the film is not human, it's a kick ass semi truck bearing the face of the Green Goblin. This truck is fab, fab, fab. One day I will get my license, buy this truck and drive cross country scaring tourists and children alike.

If you like the '80s, you must watch this movie. Enough said.