Night Of The Living Dead 3D

This movie wasn't bad by any major standards it just seemed unnecessary to me. While it contained a lot of homage and inside jokes to George Romero's 1967 classic film but it still just lacks any spark. The plot is similar to the original, siblings Johnny and Barbara (called Barb in this version) head off to a cemetery when they are plagued by zombies. Barb eventually winds up at a farm with Ben (played by a white guy instead of the usual black guy) Harry, Helen, and Karen are the owners of the farm as opposed to a family forced to hide their. Tom and Judy make an appearance but with none of the sweetness or romance usually seen between them.
Two new characters are added Owen (a stoner farm hand) and Gerald (played by the incomparable Sid Haig) a mortician with a dark secret.

Simply put this movie was just dull, things move by way too fast, and even the 3D effects that are the main draw of this film are simply uninteresting. Sadly even the most indiscriminate horror/zombie enthusiast will find anything worthwhile in this tepid remake.

Sadly with the original Night Of The Living Dead now in public domain there is no stopping people from remaking this film over and over with no respect for the original. For a good remake track down Tom Savini's 1990 remake, it stays true to the original with a few good changes to spruce it up a bit.

Spotlight On Slashers #1: The Slumber Party Massacre Trilogy

In my opinion, the slasher film is the best in cinematic junk food. There's no deep insight into the killer's psyche. No rhyme, no reason. Just blood, breasts, and senseless dialogue. There are some that vanish and never even make it to DVD while others stay popular after all these years. Slumber Party Massacre may not be one the popular ones but they are a must for any self-respecting horror fan.


Slumber Party Massacre: Few people know that this movie was never meant to be a serious slasher film. It was written by feminist author Rita Mae Brown as a parody of the slasher genre. But in typical Hollywood fashion it was taken seriously and filmed as such. Because of this the movie contains a lot of humorous moments both intentional and unintentional. The movie still contains everything a slasher fan loves and is more entertaining than a lot of the other films in this genre. Props for not shedding any real light on why the killer did what he did or giving us some happy ending. The plot is typical. A group of young nubile girls fight a very uninvited guest during a slumber party.


Slumber Party Massacre 2: What The Fuck? I mean seriously what the fuck? I mean my standards for horror films are pretty low. There are a lot of movies I watch that will never fall under the self-respecting horror fan guidelines. And this movie still sucked. It stars former Wings star Crystal Bernard as Courtney one of the survivors of the massacre all grown up. She and the other members of her lame, Bangles-esque rock band are off to for a slumber party weekend. However Courtney is haunted by dreams of a punk rock driller killer and pleas from her institulaized sister Val (another survivor of SPM 1) not to have sex. She should have pled with the viewers not to watch this crap. For a slasher movie it waits an hour before giving us any kills. Instead we sit through an hour of Courtney's visions, her friend's head turns into a pimple and a mutant chicken attacks her. When the kills finally come viewers have pretty much lost interest and the ending is confusing and dull.

Slumber Party Massacre 3: Interesting enough this was not initially filmed as a SPM sequel but the title was changed in order to squeeze out some more juice from the series. Ironically it is a truer sequel to SPM 1 than it's confusing counterpart. The plot goes back to basics the nubile teens, the weird red herring characters, and blood, gore and sex galore. It seems to regain some of the humor of the original as well However if anyone reading this wants to view the trailers on Youtube or elsewhere, DON'T view the trailer for this one. For some inexplicable reason the trailer tells you outright who the killer is.

Cheerleader Massacre (a.k.a. Slumber Party Massacre 4): I'm putting this in here to save space for my review of this movie once I locate it. Filmed 13 years after SPM 3 it stars Brinke Stevens who reprises her role of Linda whom she played in SPM 1.

This trilogy has one more interesting fact about it, all three films were written and directed by women. A rarity in the often male-dominated world of horror.

Halloween 2007

Rob Zombie has done the impossible, he's taken a long dormant, steadily decreasing horror series and given it new life in this remake of the 1978 classic. However he puts his own spin on the story by giving us something that no Halloween film has done before, he gives us a look inside Michael Myers. No longer a silent menace quietly depleting the population of Haddonfield, Illinois we see a more human aspect to him and strangely some sympathy.

The movie is awesome it says true to the movie but also adds his own spin on the events. It has great casting, a perfect soundtrack, and a great blend of storytelling and bloodshed.

The cast includes Malcolm McDowell doing a fantastic job filling Donald Pleasence's shoes as Michael friend/nemesis Dr. Loomis. Sherri Moon Zombie shines as Michael's mother and proves that she's capable of versatile roles. And newcomer Daeg Faerch is mesmerizing as a young Michael Myers.

Even the secondary cast is awesome with cameos by horror veterans such as Danny Trejo and Ken Foree and Clint Howard. And the much welcome return of Danielle Harris is a treat for all Halloween fans. For you non fans, Danielle Harris appeared in Halloween 4 & 5 as Laurie Strode's orphaned daughter Jamie. Despite her popularity with Halloween fans she was passed over not only for Halloween 6 but was also retconned out of the series with Halloween H20.

The only dark spot in the casting has to do with the character of Laurie Strode, Michael's younger sister. This Laurie played by Scout Taylor-Compton does not hold a candle to the role originated by Jamie Lee Curtis. Her Laurie has none of the innocence and vulnerability as the original. Instead she comes off nearly manic and becomes annoying the longer she stays on screen

This movie is a treat for horror fans whether you are a newbie to the series or a purist you will enjoy it.

Highway To Hell

Highway To Hell is not your typical B movie, it's actually a decent movie that entertains the viewer 'til the very end. Charlie (Chad Lowe) and Rachel (Kristy Swanson) are two young lovers eloping to Vegas. However the romantic adventure ends on a lonely road when Rachel is kidnapped by a hell cop and taken to Hell. Now Charlie must fight his fears and temptations in order to save her from becoming a bride of Satan.

This is simply a great movie, the main actors are top-notch with tons of wonderful cameos by Lita Ford, Gilbert Gottfried, and the entire Stiller family. There are a lot of hey it's that guy type of actors in the film as well including Patrick Bergin, Jarrett Lennon, Adam Storke, and Richard Farnsworth that round out the cast.

This movie is a lost classic that only a few who are lucky to stumble upon can experience it's '90s goodness. The true shame of how under appreciated this is that it has a great soundtrack but no way to find it. If you see this movie, watch it, it won't disappoint.

I Know Who Killed Lindsay's Career

Awful, boring, waste of my time and money. There are so many ways to describe this awful piece or drivel that there is not enough room in this blog to contain it all. This 2007 "thriller" stars Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay plays typical high-schooler Aubrey Fleming who is kidnapped and tortured by a mysterious stranger. She is found in a ditch weeks later but insists she is not Aubrey but is Dakota Moss a stripper. As her family tries to convince her that she is Aubrey, Dakota tries to find the real Aubrey who she senses is alive.

Even though I have been greatly disappointed by Mrs. Lohan's two previous films (Just My Luck and Georgia Rule) I still wanted to see this flick. Partially due to the fact it was filmed in a nearby town but also due to the addition of Jessica Rose a.k.a. internet phenomenon lonelygirl15.

The worst part of this film was that they had a great idea but sacrificed plot for "intense" scenes full of "stunning imagery" The ending is short and abrupt with no follow-up, what you can't even tack on an ending explaining the fates of the remaining characters?

Here's hoping rehab will cure Lohan enough to accept more coherent scripts and less of this garbage.

Ginger Snaps, Fizzles, and Ends

The Ginger Snaps Trilogy


Werewolf movies are generally a lost art. For every American Werewolf In London there's an American Werewolf In Paris. For every Underworld there's a Van Hellsing. Unlike vampire or zombie genres werewolf flicks generally lay stagnant. Ginger Snaps was a film that I had heard of many times but never seemed interested in. Until one day out of abject boredom I decided to peruse the trilogy

Ginger Snaps A+: A great start to the series. It stars Katharine Isabelle and Emily Perkins, both no stranger to the horror film genre. Brigitte and Ginger Fitzgerald are sisters who are complete outsiders. They seem to need nobody but each other even excluding their own parents. This all changes when Ginger is bitten by a werewolf and begins to change. The film actually uses Ginger's werewolf transformation as a metaphor for puberty. The wolves from Ginger Snaps are also not your everyday werewolves. No silver bullets, a wolf can die from hit by a car or stabbed. No transforming every month, once you turn it's permanent. And rather than be transmitted by bite, it can be transmitted by blood or by sex. This film is fun, dark, and all in all a great flick.

Ginger Snaps 2:Unleashed D+ Unleashed, try unwatchable and you'll get a good idea of how awful this film is. Brigitte now on her own is on the run from a mysterious other werewolf. She spends her days keeping her transformation at bay with the help of wolfs bane. However she od's and winds up in a rehab clinic. Brigitte now has to deal with her transformation and the lecherous orderly who could her get her the wolf's bane for a price. Boring what can you say about a "sequel" that leaves hundreds of plot points dangling, a "surprise" ending that can be seen miles away and for some inexplicable reason a group masturbation scene. The only reason to watch is for Emily Perkins who deserved better.

Ginger Snaps Back:The Beginning B Having gone as far as they could with the current sisters the writers reach back in the past. In 1861 orphans Ginger and Brigitte Fitzgerald wind up at a trading post besieged by werewolves. Ginger is promptly bitten and Brigitte must fulfill a prophecy before losing her sister for good. This was much better than the previous installment and it's good to have Katharine Isabelle back a starring role and Emily Perkins is as flawless as always. I have some issues with the ending which implies that the Fitzgerald clan has had werewolf blood in the lineage for hundreds of years. However Ginger Snaps 1 states otherwise. Other than that good times.



ginger snaps

I'm Dreaming Of A Bland Christmas

Black Christmas: A Review

To start you all off I love the original 1974 Black Christmas. It was genuinely creepy and made good use of keeping the viewer in suspense without dragging it out. To date it is one of my favorite horror films. However the remake is living proof that "If it ain't broke don't fix it" To sum it up the movie deviates too far from it's original source and it shows.

The remake doubles the cast members ensuring that we get more bodies to brutally murder. Unfortunately the characters are so unmemorable that the viewers neither cures nor remembers who is who. Rather than follow the original in keeping the killer's background/motives unknown we are treated to a lame ass back story full of murder incest and eye-gouging galore. As for acting we have the talents of Michelle Tractenberg and Lacey Chabert absolutely wasted in one note roles. Most of the supporting actresses are boring and unmemorable save for Crystal Lowe who actually makes her role worth while to watch.

And the eye-gouging, good lord, it was unpleasant enough the first time around and did not need to be repeated. The original had subplots that garnered interest, a father searching for his daughter, a relationship gone sour. Instead we get back stories about characters that die ten minutes into the film. What is the point?


Then of course the surprise ending with we could see it from a mile away plot twist to the just when you thought it was over oh my god here he comes ending trust me if you want true horror rent the '74 version if you want to be bored senseless and pissed off grab the remake.

black christmas