Delia's Crossing: A V.C. Andrews Novel

Ever since the day I stumbled across my stepsisters copy of Heaven, I was a V.C. Andrews addict. I read every single book I could find and was excited every time a new one came out. But soon the books just got way too terrible and I gave up.

I found Delia's Crossing in a thrift store and thought why not? Delia's Crossing isn't that bad compared to Andrew Neiderman's most recent works. It actually feels more like an old school V.C. Andrews novel.

The book centers around Delia Yebarra who lives in a small village in Mexico. At the age of 15, her parents die and she is sent to live with her aunt and two cousins. In typical V.C. Andrews fashion, she has the cruel mother figure and the jealous manipulative cousin. However in a rare twist, she has a positive relationship with a male cousin that doesn't involve him falling in love with her.

Even though the novel has a Mexican heroine, it doesn't resort to stereotypes. One of my many complaints of the Hudson series was how they dealt the character of Rain. Rain was a character with a black father and a white mother. Every few pages we were reminded that she was part black and then reminded that she didn't act black. After all she didn't use street slang or listen to rap, stereotype city.

Sadly while the incest plot line is refreshingly absent, the rape scenes are alive and well. Poor Delia suffers not one but two attacks in a single book.

Thankfully Delia isn't hindered by all the usual Mexican stereotypes. The novel shows more respect than usual for her culture. What's even more refreshing is the character of Edward, Delia's gay cousin. The book actually portrays his relationship with his best friend as a positive thing. In fact I was more interested in Edward's romance than Delia's.

All in all this book was a surprise, if Andrew Neiderman can continue to write the V.C. Andrews like this one, I may start reading them again. I actually would like to read the other books in the Delia series. If you, like I, were turned off by the more recent books, I suggest giving this one a try.

Now back to the movie world. Thursday, I will be reviewing A Secret Between Friends: A Moment of Truth starring the fabulous Lynda Carter.

She's Too Young

This film is an overprotective parent's wet dream. Melodramatic, totally out of touch with today's teenage, and wonderfully cheesy. What they should have named this flick is Girls Gone Mild.

We meet three teenage girls, Becca (Megan Park), a wildly promiscuous girl with strict parents. Dawn (Miriam Armstrong), a mildly promiscuous girl with the cool single mom. And last but not least our heroine, Hannah (Alexis Dziena) , who's still a babe in the woods. These girls are introduced to us in a montage of lip gloss, fishnets, and bad indie music.

Hannah, Dawn, and Becca used to be friends and are now hanging out again. Hannah is embarrassed when her mother insists on walking her out to the car and demands a number where can she reached. After her daughter leaves, Hannah's mom expresses her concerns about Hannah riding in cars with boys on a school night. (At least when Drew Barrymore did it, it was entertaining).

Becca and her boyfriend Nick promptly ditch Hannah and Dawn so that they can go to a motel. Really Lifetime, you expect us to believe that a 16 year old boy with a car and no parental supervision would waste money on a motel in order to hook up. I'm afraid that someone has confused real teenagers with characters from 90210.

Dawn and Hannah engage in typical teenage chitchat when one of Nick's friend, Bradley approaches them. He wants Hannah to come his car and listen to music (what no hotel?), Hannah declines and Dawn ditches her to go instead. Some random extras whisper about what a slut Dawn is while Hannah is forced to call her mom for a ride.

The next day, we see Nick ask Hannah out. Nick goes home to his cold, empty mansion and broods while drinking a beer. He later opens his inbox which is overflowing with mail from countless adult websites. Dawn lectures her younger sister about her homework and watches her mom with her latest boyfriend in disgust.

Hannah's mom runs into Dawn's mom and learns that Hannah is going out with Nick that weekend. We see Hannah in her room playing the cello. Her room just screams innocent with tons of books, trophies, and ceramic figurines. No fourteen year old I have ever met has collected ceramic figurines.

In yet another montage, Becca sluts up her appearance in the school bathroom while an upset Dawn goes to the nurse's office. She has a mysterious sore in her mouth, dun, dun, dun. Good god, another freaking montage, Lifetime you're killing me. House party, promiscuous teenagers, wine coolers, joints, etc etc etc. I never ever drank wine coolers when I was a teenager, that sort of thing was mocked even then.

Hannah's bumps into her best friend, Tommy (a.k.a The Smartest Person In This Film). Tommy tries to convince her to leave with him, but Hannah's not budging. Hannah and Nick go back to his fortress of solitude and go hottubbing. He just happens to have some girls' swimsuits lying around, this fails to ring any warning bells for Hannah.

Hannah bumps into Becca after church, Becca is shocked that Nick didn't try anything with her. Back at school, Dawn learns that she has syphilis. Poor Miriam Armstrong, she played a character with gonorrhea on Degrassi. The school nurse asks her how many sexual partners she has had, Dawn tells her about 20.

Hannah and Nick gone on another date, watching movies in his ice palace. He tries to get her to go all the way, but she refuses. They do end up doing everything else though. Hannah goes home and IM's Becca, she is disappointed that it wasn't the romantic experience she thought it would be.

The girls are all at Becca's house where the viewers are treated to an excruciating Bring It On homage. Dawn casually spills the news that she has syphilis. Hannah is understanding but Becca implies that she is a slut, Dawn leaves.

Later Nick, Bradley, Hannah and Becca hang out on the sofa drinking, Becca is bitching about how slutty Dawn is. They go upstairs to watch an adult film, Hannah is disgusted when she realizes that Nick intends for her to hook up with Bradley. She tearfully storms out leaving an eager Becca to entertain both guys.

The school nurse urges Nick to get tested and to name the girls he's been with. A cocky Nick refuses and tells the nurse that he's done almost every girl in school. In order to stop "the largest syphilis cluster in the town's history", they decide to alert anyone who may be at risk. Becca's mom demands to know if she is at risk, Becca lies and says she isn't. Dawn's mother also finds out and she admits it.

Hannah is brushing her teeth when she discovers that she has a sore as well. Hannah's parents hear about what's going on but Hannah says that she's fine. She goes up to her computer and researches syphilis. Gotta love Internet searching in the movies, all the information you need is always on the web link shown. Deadly, open sore, hair loss, and a bunch of pictures that made ma glad that I wasn't eating while watching this.

Hannah and Becca get tested and both have it. Hannah and Dawn later get drunk off wine coolers and discuss sex. Dawn's mother comes home to find Dawn passed out and Hannah getting sick in the bathroom. Hannah's parents take her home and Hannah tells them she has the "Big S"

Hannah's mom goes on the warpath and tries to make the others' parents more aware of their kids' actions. This leads to Hannah being harassed by her fellow students. At a school meeting the parents defend their little darlings while they buy beer and steal porn. Hannah is at home being harassed by online messages. She runs off crying.

Becca learns that she is being sent to a Christian school, Becca promptly sneaks off. Hannah's mom comes home and finds the rude messages on her computer. She learns that there is a party going on at Brad's. Dawn is supposed to be grounded but she sneaks out with Becca.

Hannah is over at Tommy's and they kiss. She tries to push things further but he refuses, an upset Hannah runs off. Becca and Dawn talk about starting over and not being sluts until Becca goes off with a couple of guys. Hannah tries to call Dawn or Becca, but Dawn's grounded and Becca is um occupied.

Hannah winds up at the party where Bradley tells her Becca is downstairs. Once there though he tries to rape her. Nick ineffectually attempts to stop it but Tommy shows up and saves the day. Becca returns home and begins to cry. Dawn and her mom are hanging out ignoring her younger sister who sneaks upstairs to try on Dawn's clothes.

Tommy brings Hannah back to his place and calls her parents. Everybody makes up and they all live sexlessly ever after.

New Post Coming Soon

For the last week my internet was consistently going out. After having three different cable guys come to our house, it's finally working again. Expect weekly or biweekly posts from now on. Tomorrow afternoon I will be posting a my review of She's Too Young. I will also be reviewing Love Comes Softly over the weekend.


On another note I am looking for suggestions for more Lifetime (or similiar) movies to review. If anyone has any suggestions, I would be grateful.


Until tomorrow.........

Swearing Allegiance a.k.a Love's Deadly Triangle.

As with most of these films, Swearing Allegiance a.k.a Love's Deadly Triangle is based on a true story. It covers the 1995 murder of teenager Adrianne Jones, by Diane Zamora and David Graham. It stars Full House's Viper (David Lipper) and Charmed's Piper (Holly Marie Combs).

Without any prelude, we immediately start at the murder. Diane and David attack Adrianne before David chases her into a field and shoots her. We cut to David typing his confession on a computer. He and Diane are obsessed with one another, perfect love, blah, blah.

The scene switches to Diane and her friend Susie (Joanna Garcia) walking down the halls of their high school. Diane is blathering the same boring B.S. about David and it's all so very boring. We than pan to them wildly making out, David wants to go further but Diane can't.

"David, my virginity is something I can only give once" Sadly that was a direct quote. David sugar talks her into it very quickly and they have teh sex. It's so romantic he pawns his rifles to buy her an engagement ring.

On their way home, they stop at a local fast food place. Adrianne (a.k.a AJ) takes them their order and chitchats with David, much to a jealous Diane's displeasure. AJ's co-worker interrupts them to inform her that some guy is back.

That guy is Brian, an awkward and nervous boy that has been hounding AJ. She hides from Brian as her co-worker tries to discourage him. AJ feels bad that she's avoiding him. We go back to Diane in the car grilling David about how he knows AJ.

David and AJ meet up at a track meeting and get all hot and bothered on the bus ride home. Meanwhile Diane and mother argue about losing her virginity, Diane assures her mother that she will marry him. The groom to be however is hooking up with AJ in the woods somewhere.

Later on, David and Diane are on a date when they run into AJ and her boyfriend. Diane senses the awkwardness between them and demands answers. He admits that he has had "carnal knowledge" of AJ. Diane begins crying hysterically and throws a fit.

Rather than turn to shopping therapy, couple's therapy, or for the love of God, professional therapy, Diane decides that AJ must die. After a few scenes of AJ hanging out with her mother, she gets a call from David asking her to meet him. AJ sneaks out and gets in the truck, we all know what happens next.

AJ's mother realizes she is missing while David and Diane innocently study. AJ's body is discovered in a field and two detectives inform her mother. As they question her she remembers that a David had called AJ the night before. Her brother informs him that he saw a white truck the night before.

The detectives come into the school and begin questioning the students about the murder. David denies having ever known her and soon suspicion shifts to Brian. Brian has no memory of that night due mixing depression pills and booze.

David and Diane attend AJ's funeral but Diane begins to freak out, they vow to be honorable citizens from now on. David gets into the Air Force, Diane gets into the Navy. The detective continue to badger Brian until his father gets fed up and threatens the police. A SWAT team later storms Brian's house and arrests him. Does it really require an entire SWAT team to apprehend a single murder suspect? Brian is released after he passes a lie detector test.

At prom, Susie tells Diane that there is a rumor that she killed AJ for sleeping with David. Diane gets angry and storms out which only makes her look guilty. She assures David that everything will be fine as they dance in front of a picture of AJ.

Diane and David go off to their respective bases. Diane begins to break down and eventually confesses what she did to another cadet. Then she sticks her tongue down his throat, apparently she doesn't practice what she preaches. Diane cannot keep her trap shut and also brags about it to her roommates.

Her roommates report her to the cops but she claims that she was just joking. She is sent home anyway for the time being. Instead of going home she hightails it to Colorado where David is. Meanwhile the cops finally get a clue and begins to suspect the bumbling lovers.

They find a friend of David's that remembers that David and Diane came to his house that night covered in blood. This was obviously something that he didn't feel was important enough to tell the cops about.

The detectives tell him what his friend said and David finally confesses. His confession includes a gem about "Diane's eyes playing the strings of his heart. Blecchh! We then see the murder from David's point of view. David and Diane are arrested while Mrs Jones weeps over the loss of her daughter.

Now most of these films would have ended with the trial or some info on what happened to the couple. However this film was released before the trial had even ended. Talk about jumping the gun a little.

Next we go back to a simpler snarky time with Love Comes Softly starring Katerine Heigl.

Center Stage 2: Turn It Up

Turn it off would be a better title. I'll admit it, the first Center Stage film is one of my guilty pleasures. Anytime I see that it's on I have to watch it, I was hoping the sequel would have some of that so bad it's good magic.

The movie centers around Kate Parker a plucky dancer who wants to join the American Academy of Ballet. She doesn't make it in but luckily finds a job at a trendy nightclub to make ends meet. She falls for former hockey player turned ballet dancer, Tommy. Will Kate ever become the prima ballerina she wants to be? Will Tommy choose fame and fortune over true love? Anybody who's ever suffered through a bad dance movie knows the answers to these questions.

Worse yet, you don't hear about what happened to Jody, Eva, Maureen etc etc from the first film. Cooper returns as does Jonathan but they seem to be playing different characters. Jonathan is no longer the stern perfectionist that we loved to hate. In fact, the movie ends with his lips firmly latched on to Kate's firmly toned rear.

Cooper is no longer the suave superstud he was. He is more like that guy who graduated ten years ago but still attends all the high school parties. They mention that his company lost it's funding and don't even touch on what happened to Jody. I mean this is the character that turned her back on the Academy in order to join Cooper's company. She deserved at least a mention if nothing else.

Kate is simply irritating. She is supposed to be a determined self-taught dancer but falls apart every time something goes wrong. She allegedly taught herself to dance because her father refused to pay for ballet classes. But she tools around in a very snazzy car and carries an expensive cell phone around. At one point, she is supposedly sleeping on the streets but manages to look perfectly coiffed at all times.

The only redeeming feature of this film was using The DNC's Swing Baby Swing. I fell in love with that song at first listen and have been listening to it non-stop since.

Next up on the chopping block: Love's Deadly Triangle: The Texas Cadet Murder. A tawdry little tale about sex and murder starring Full House's Viper and Charmed's Piper.

Go Ask Alice

Interestingly enough Alice isn't even important enough to warrant her cover. Instead we get a romance novel cover featuring William Shatner and Andy Griffith.

Go Ask Alice was an alleged true memoir of an anonymous girl's descent into drug use. It was later revealed to be a fraud penned by Beatrice Sparks who is no stranger to fake memoirs. IF you wanna know more about the book there is a great review at Dibbly Fresh.

We meet "Alice" who has just purchased a new diary. She fills us in a little bit about her life. Her dad (William Shatner who is nearly unrecognizable in mutton chops and thick glasses) has accepted a new teaching position and the family has to move to another town. Alice babbles about the usual teenage stuff, wanting to be more secure, have friends, lose weight etc etc etc.

The opening of this film assaults us with a warbly off-key version of Jefferson Airplane's White Rabbit. We also random shots of "bad kids" smoking the reefer. Sadly Alice is too boring and socially awkward to fit in, luckily for her she meets Beth who is as awkward and boring as she is.

Beth eventually goes off to camp for the summer and Alice meets Chris, a popular druggie. She invites Alice to a party where she accidentally takes LSD. Because a bunch of grinning teenagers passing around a tray of sodas saying "Button, Button, who's got the button," isn't a huge hint of what's to come. Alice is a moron.

Alice enjoys her trip but later writes in her diary that it will never happen again. Two minutes later she goes off to do more drugs. Summer is over, Alice is pretty, popular, and high all day. Alice has a new boyfriend, a John Travolta lookalike named Richie who is also a dealer. She also blows off Beth in favor of Chris.

Alice's family has no clue what's going on. In a funny scene, Alice and her friends do coke in the living room. Her parents waltz in with a birthday cake and doesn't notice that anything is wrong. Her father who is supposed to be a college professor can't tell when a group of teenagers are doing drugs. Come on, her preteen brother figured it out before they did. A TA who works for the professor figures it out ten minutes after meeting her, leading me to wonder what drugs are parents on.

After one of Richie's dealer friends get busted, Alice reluctantly peddles drugs to junior high schoolers. Alice's parents find her pill stash but Alice lies her way out of trouble, and then hightails it to Richie's. She catches Richie in bed with Chris's boyfriend and steals some money from him. 200 whole dollars, I doubt even in the '70s that would have lasted long.

Chris and Alice board a bus and promise one another that they will stop using. She then wakes up on a park bench with Chris nowhere to be seen. She has apparently been hanging with a junkie named Doris (McKenzie Phillips, throwing herself into the role.) Alice is stunned to learn that Doris is 14 and a hooker. Before she can run off, Doris hands her her diary and Alice doesn't remember what she has written.

Alice then babbles to her diary about it having only been a months since they ran away. Apparently they have traveled to random cities such as Dallas and Pheonix, not finding jobs but plenty of dope. She tries to read her diary but it upsets her so much that she tears the pages out and cries.

She winds up a teen shelter run by a priest (Andy Griffith). She tries to get him to read her journal but he won't. Instead he convinces her to face up to her problems and go home. Andy Griffith is the most interesting and smartest character in the whole damn film. We are also treated to a crazy flashback where Alice allows Chris to be raped so that she can get more dope.

Alice returns home and goes back to school, but sobriety is no friend of Alice's. Chris is gone and Beth is now popular with a lot of friends. She can't be seen with Alice due to her junkie past. The junkies try to force Alice to use again. In the real world junkies don't care what you do as long as you don't narc. And seriously I think your so-called best friend would be doing everything she can to keep you sober.



Recognize this handsome young actor playing a junkie cashier who taunts Alice? Yes, that is Robert Carradine from Revenge of the Nerds.

Alice is babysitting after another junkie named Jan fails to show up. Jan shows up later high as a kite, Alice is forced to call the cops after Jan gets aggressive. Back at school Jan threatens to plant dope on Alice's father and get Alice's brother hooked on drugs. Alice begins to confide in her father's TA, Joel who asks her out on a date.

Alice is babysitting again and takes a soda out of the fridge which is laced with LSD. (In the book I believe it was chocolate peanuts that were laced.) Apparently someone managed to sneak the soda into the house without anyone noticing. Some baby sitter Alice is.

Alice wakes up in a hospital and everything turns rosy posy. Her parents believe her story, Beth decides to be her friend again and Joel is more in love with her than ever. Such a perfect happy ending.

Until Alice dies of an overdose. She conveniently stopped keeping a diary so nobody knew whether she took them willingly or not. Her mother who narrates this seems unconcerned that her daughter has died. She's too busy lecturing the viewer about the evilness of drugs. The whole movie whittles down to the biggest lesson you will ever learn.

"Drugs are bad.....mmmkay."

This film will only be watchable by people who used to love the movies that you were forced to watch in health class. If you thought the book was over dramatic, you ain't seen nothing' yet.

She Fought Alone

Seriously what's up with this cover? I don't remember him being that tall when the two of them were on 90210 together. This movie has a fun casting fact. In the film She Cried No, Zach (Mark Paul Gosslear) from Saved By The Bell rapes D.J. (Candace Cameron) from Full House. In She Fought Alone, Zach's girlfriend Kelly (Tiffani-Amber Thiessen) gets raped by D.J's boyfriend, Viper (David Lipper).

Tiffani plays Caitlin, a new girl accepted into the most popular group in school. Caitlin falls hard for Ethan and the two hook up. Caitlin learns that Ethan is no longer interested and she is expected to hook up with his friend, Jace. Jace is less than enthused by her rejection and rapes her.

Unfortunately for Caitlin, no one believes that she was raped including her own mother. Jace and the rest of the popular crew vow to shut her up. However shutting her up consists of graffiti, nasty notes, and prank phone calls.

Caitlin has the opportunity to graduate early but her mom won't let her. After all she can't miss prom or graduation. Ahh prom and graduation with a bunch of people harassing you, memories like that can't be bought. The school is equally unhelpful protecting her, the boys punishment is being banned from a couple of games, which only succeeds in making them angrier.

Caitlin's supposed best friend leads her into a trap where the popular boys hack off her hair and threaten her. Only then does Ethan feebly "stands up" for her, too little to late in my opinion. Eventually Caitlin sues the school and of course wins.

The ending is extremely surreal. Caitlin is heading off to college but first she visits her former best friend. The friend is pregnant with Jace's baby and it's implied that she was raped too. Her excuse for betraying Caitlin was that if she really had been raped, it would've made them look like whores. Okay, that makes sense really.

She visits Ethan, who is staying behind and actually feels sorry for him. She even kisses him before saying goodbye. Don't pity the guy who barely stood up for you while his friends harassed you. Do doughnuts in his driveway while flipping him off.

To make this film's ending even worse, she has a flashback/montage of all the good times she had with the crew set to Blues Traveler's Hook. One of her fond memories is running through a field crying, with her hair hacked off. Ahh good times.

Next up for review Go Ask Alice.