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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer

I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer is the saddest, most incoherant, most blatant rip-off of a film that I have ever seen. And that's saying a lot, I've seen Troll 2. In fact that is so bad that I am going to break my rules and spoil the ending. Because if I can stop one person from wasting time with this I'll have made a difference.

In a small Colorado town, some teens decide to play a little joke on the 4th Of July. Unfortunately the joke goes awry and one of their friends winds up dead. The teens immediately make a pact not to reveal their roles in his death and go their separate ways. Sound familiar? Oh yeah it's the freaking plot as I Know What You Did Last Summer only less interesting.

Fast forward time, main heroine feels guilty, people die, everyone's a suspect yadda yadda yadda. Then we finally find out who the killer is. Ben Willis, yes that Ben Willis, our favorite hook-wielding fisherman from the first two installments. What's this film have to do with him? Absolutely nothing.

See now Ben is an evil vengeful spirit whose main hobby is killing teenagers who have covered up their roles in murders. Come on, we could not even get a vague little connection to the previous films. Like the kid who died was Ben's other unknown son. Or how about the heroine was the daughter of the survivors of the film. They could have easily hired actors who look like older versions of Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze Jr. Or have them killed off and pay the actors to allow them to show a photo or something.

Not that making sense of the plot would've helped the film any but it certainly would've been less annoying. Avoid at all costs.

The only interesting thing about this film is that Torrey Devito who played Hot Creepy Nanny Carrie on One Tree Hill stars as one of the teens. And did I mention avoid at all costs?