True Blood: The Season of the Douche

 
  Season 4 of True Blood premiered last with an blend of awesomeness and ridiculousness. Let's start with Sookie's time in fairy land; hated it. The fairies were one of my favorite parts of the book series and it just came out as cartoonish at best. However, I did have a little giggle at Mr. Bill Lumbergh playing Sookie's grandpa, too bad his part was woefully short.

    True Blood has time skipped one year which I love. Two of my favorite shows, Desperate Housewives and One Tree Hill improved due to time skips, and I hope it does the same for True Blood. 

   Jason is still fantastically boring, I didn't like him in the books either. Equally boring is Sam and his angsty relationship with his brother. Hopefully introducing more shifters might make him a sight more interesting. The boring also accompanies poor V-addicted Andy, crazy Arlene, and sadly, the show's golden couple, Hoyt and Jessica.

   The whole Hoyt and Jessica thing ticked me off. We spent a whole season of Sturm und Drang before the couple got their happy ending. And first thing out the gate, they are at odds again. I know in television, happy couples are boring but would it kill them to give us a couple of happy episodes between the two?

   There were some good aspects to the premiere. I am loving the cool, confident, Tara. This is the Tara we fell in love with in the first season before becoming the perpetual victim we all know and loathe. Thank God, she ditched that hideous afro she sported in the Season 3 finale. Jesus and Lafayette are adorable but I am not feeling the witchcraft storyline. Pam is always awesome but woefully underused, get that girl a storyline, quick.
 
  And finally after seasons of teasing, Team Eric fans seem to be getting what they want. I may be in the minority but I never liked Bill and Sookie together. I never liked Bill, hence the douche remark. Oh yes, good old Bill, is in the mix as the King of Louisiana. Apparently his royal duties consist of playing hide the kielbasa with every available chick in Bon Temps. At least the books were kind enough to ship him off to Peru for awhile. I want Evan Rachel Wood back, she was my favorite.
 
   I did catch next week's episode on HBOGO, don't worry I won't review that until next week. I do have to say I should have waited to catch it on television. The damn thing stalled every ten minutes and the video quality jumped from good to crappy multiple times. Just a warning to those who want to catch it online.

An Ode To My Dead MP3 Player

   

  I own a Dell DJ, well owned one, I should say. It was a ludicrously heavy silver behemoth that had been discontinued three years before I purchased it from eBay. It was bare bones, no video, no color screen, no hope of syncing with iTunes. But I loved it, it was my constant companion.

   But without fanfare, it simply died. To my complete amusement, I realized that I had gone through the 5 stages of a grief.

   Denial: It's not broken, the batteries just dead. I'll charge it overnight, yeah, that'll work. It must be the cord maybe I'll angle it in this direction. It must be my USB port, I'll plug it in my boyfriend's computer, it'll work then.

   Anger: Why did you break down now? I have bills, I won't be able to afford one until next month. Why didn't you die when I got my tax return? Why did you die after I spent that Amazon gift certificate? Why? Why? Why? This sucks!! Why do these things always happen to me?

   Bargaining: Just come on one more time. I'll press the reset button and you'll turn on again. I'll be able to rescue my music. Listen DJ, I don't wanna rip all those CDs again. Please, just one little spark is all I ask.

   Depression: I really got to stop keeping you by my computer. I keep reaching for you and turning you on and nothing. I have no interest in purchasing new music. Exercising in silence is so boring. I can't keep you but I can't throw you away. You sit there silently mocking me.

    Acceptance: Well, the Sony Walkman is kind of swanky. Good price. It'll be nice to have video functions even if I never use them. It might be nice to have something more technologically advanced. The warranty will be a nice change.

     To my fallen musical comrade, you were a good investment. You survived countless falls to the floor, an impromptu puppy attack and an unfortunate trip through the washer and dryer. You managed to survive longer than any mp3 player ever had a right to. Why Dell stopped making you I'll never know. Farewell.