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Saturday, June 25, 2011

An Ode To My Dead MP3 Player


  I own a Dell DJ, well owned one, I should say. It was a ludicrously heavy silver behemoth that had been discontinued three years before I purchased it from eBay. It was bare bones, no video, no color screen, no hope of syncing with iTunes. But I loved it, it was my constant companion.

   But without fanfare, it simply died. To my complete amusement, I realized that I had gone through the 5 stages of a grief.

   Denial: It's not broken, the batteries just dead. I'll charge it overnight, yeah, that'll work. It must be the cord maybe I'll angle it in this direction. It must be my USB port, I'll plug it in my boyfriend's computer, it'll work then.

   Anger: Why did you break down now? I have bills, I won't be able to afford one until next month. Why didn't you die when I got my tax return? Why did you die after I spent that Amazon gift certificate? Why? Why? Why? This sucks!! Why do these things always happen to me?

   Bargaining: Just come on one more time. I'll press the reset button and you'll turn on again. I'll be able to rescue my music. Listen DJ, I don't wanna rip all those CDs again. Please, just one little spark is all I ask.

   Depression: I really got to stop keeping you by my computer. I keep reaching for you and turning you on and nothing. I have no interest in purchasing new music. Exercising in silence is so boring. I can't keep you but I can't throw you away. You sit there silently mocking me.

    Acceptance: Well, the Sony Walkman is kind of swanky. Good price. It'll be nice to have video functions even if I never use them. It might be nice to have something more technologically advanced. The warranty will be a nice change.

     To my fallen musical comrade, you were a good investment. You survived countless falls to the floor, an impromptu puppy attack and an unfortunate trip through the washer and dryer. You managed to survive longer than any mp3 player ever had a right to. Why Dell stopped making you I'll never know. Farewell.