2010 Season In Review (Mild Spoilers)

As this television season draws to a close I thought I'd share my thoughts on how my favorite shows fared.


Melrose Place: I worshiped the original Melrose Place and was excited to learn about the reboot. Granted, the season started out boring. They bring Sydney Andrews back from the dead only to kill her off five minutes later.

Auggie (Colin Egglesford) and Violet (Ashlee Simpson) were the most boring characters on the show and they have been removed. Riley and Jonah were boring and I wished them off the show as well. Until Jonah hooked up with Ella....Riley can still go. Heather Locklear is still awesome as Amanda Woodward and it's great to see Thomas Calabro, Josie Bissett, and Daphne Zuniga reprise their former characters.There is buzz that the show may be cancelled and that would be a shame. Melrose Place has finally smoothed out the rough edges and has begun to gel. It deserves a second season.



Big Love: Seriously, what the Hell happened this season. It was like a bad hangover following the prior season's awesomeness. You changed the theme song which is just awful. The story lines have degenerated into pure garbage. Illegal bird deals? Bill was just insufferable. And Margene's story lines have lapsed into a coma of stupidity that the show may not recover from.

To the Big Love writers, two of my favorite actors have left the show. I need something to keep me tuning in. Shape up and be as awesome as I know you can be.



Lost: For the shows' final season, I have been mildly disappointed. The alternate time line ran on way too long. It was good see some of the shows' former actors return but enough is enough. Only a handful of episodes left and nearly nothing has happened. There are questions that need to be answered and only two weeks left to get on the ball.

Oh, and last week's little slaughter fest of original characters made me cry. Not only because the victims were all favorite characters but Jack is still alive. Seriously, Lost, give a devoted fan something to treasure.



Degrassi: The Next Generation: How can you be my guilty pleasure show if I can no longer watch you. I have probably missed half of the season and the episodes I do watch are just deja vu. How many times can Sav and Anya break up in a season? How many times can Ally and Johnny insist they are over? How many times can Riley come out of the closet? Too many new characters and old favorites shuffled into a corner. I miss my guilty pleasure but thank God for Boycott The Caf.
Glee: Started out awesome. It has great characters, fun musical numbers and awesome guest appearances. But the recent episodes have been lacking in entertainment. We spend all this time rooting for Emma and Will but get nothing except angst and fighting. Same for Rachel and Finn. There is still hope for the show and hopefully it will get out of it's slump.


The Secret Life Of The American Teen: If it had just been the teenagers, I would've have never been sucked into this show. It's the adult cast that keeps me coming back. Molly Ringwald, Jennifer Coolidge, Mayim Bialik, Kathy Kinney, and Josie Bissett are simply awesome and make the show watchable.

Plus the show has that unapologetic, awesomely over the top dialogue and story lines that Degrassi used to be famous for. A girl convinced that her fantastic sex killed her father, classic. However enough with the pregnancies, couple swapping, and blink and you'll miss them love interests.


Desperate Housewives: This season has been 100% awesome. Great story lines, great use of humor and drama. The Fairview Strangler was predictable but the back story made is an awesome storyline. Love Drea De Matteo and was happy to see her on the show. Katherine's final storyline was wonderful. It was refreshing to have a lesbian storyline not be for ratings but be a natural evolution for the character. Top notch.

The Girls In The Back Of The Cast

I was watching 90210 last week when the character of Lila was introduced. The actress seemed familiar so I googled her. Instead of immediately getting the actresses name, I instead came across this casting call notice for the character.


"Lila: A student at West Beverly who is both stylish and sarcastic, Lila is “chubby” and “heavier than our girls on the show.” Recurring potential."


Charming isn't it, but it got me thinking of teen dramas and their perception of the overweight, bespectacled, and non-conformist. Let's start with the "big girls", the big girls are usually no more than a size 10 or 12 at best. Despite the fact that they hang with the core cast, they are never really a part of it. On the off chance that a big girl is paired up romantically, it's usually with another outcast character.



For example, Delia from My So Called Life. Sure she hung out with Angela, Brian, and Ricky but only in a peripheral sense. There was no threat of her hooking up with Jordan Catalano. Instead she was pawned off on nerdy Brian and then rebounded onto a gay guy who sees her as a chance to "go straight."


Another example is Terri from Degrassi: The Next Generation. She hung out with the core cast but like Delia, she was still peripheral. Her only real relationship on the show was with Rick, a "nerdy" character who quickly became abusive. Her only major story lines concerned her obsessing over her weight and becoming a plus size model. Despite being an original cast member, the character was written off with little fanfare and rarely mentioned again.




And of course who could forget the girls with glasses. They are always portrayed as rampant overachievers with little to no social skills. Like the big girls, they hang out with the core cast but are never truly fit in. If the show progresses past high school, these same characters will forgo their dreams of Ivy League Schools to attend the convenient community college that everyone else goes to. These characters never hook up with the shows stud and usually wind up with other outcasts. More insultingly characters like 90210's Andrea and Degrassi's Liberty lose the glasses and suddenly become more popular and likable.



And then there are the true outcasts, the Goths/Wiccans. Their purpose on the show is to be the antagonist to the prettier, popular characters. They are so totally non-conformist and are so above the high school/college drama. For a time, either the characters are quickly written off (Glenda, One Tree Hill) or suddenly give up their Goth ways and happily conform (Ellie from Degrassi.) The most insulting change was Meghan from Felicity. She started out a wonderfully dark and awesome character. However, by the end of the series she happily conformed and thus became boring.




This is Amber Wallace who played gothy Glenda on One Tree Hill. She's the "lucky" actress picked to play the "chubby" Lila on 90210.

The Vampire Diaries

Let me start this review by saying I have never read the Vampire Diaries books,I am strictly reviewing the television series. If anyone can tell me what they changed in the television series I'd be most appreciative.

I am a fan of Nina Dobrev and it was because of her that I gave this show a chance. I thought I was going to hate it, but to my surprise I found myself enjoying it. Vampire Diaries is not your typical CW teen drama. It's a fun show with a great cast and decent writing.

Another pleasant surprise for me was the casting of Ian Somerhalder who used to play Boone on Lost. His portrayal of the vampire Damian is so fun to watch and oddly I find myself rooting for him even though he's essentially the villian of the show. While I don't recognize any body else from the cast, they are all pretty decent. Even though I like Nina Dobrev, her character is kind of one sided. I hope the writers concentrate more on fleshing out her character so that she seems a little less Mary Sue.

The cinematography and special effects are impressive as well. I especially like how they make the vampires "vamp out". The series does seem to borrow from various sources, I see a little bit of Bram Stoker, Lost Boys, and True Blood in mix, unfortunately it also seems to taking some cues from Gossip Girl as well.

The music used in the show is kind of irritating, mostly CW inspired douche rock but I was pleased that they used Placebo's Running Up That Hill, a personal favorite of mine.

I admit it, I like this show and will continue watching. The Vampire Diaries airs Thursday nights at 8pm on The CW.

She's Too Young

This film is an overprotective parent's wet dream. Melodramatic, totally out of touch with today's teenage, and wonderfully cheesy. What they should have named this flick is Girls Gone Mild.

We meet three teenage girls, Becca (Megan Park), a wildly promiscuous girl with strict parents. Dawn (Miriam Armstrong), a mildly promiscuous girl with the cool single mom. And last but not least our heroine, Hannah (Alexis Dziena) , who's still a babe in the woods. These girls are introduced to us in a montage of lip gloss, fishnets, and bad indie music.

Hannah, Dawn, and Becca used to be friends and are now hanging out again. Hannah is embarrassed when her mother insists on walking her out to the car and demands a number where can she reached. After her daughter leaves, Hannah's mom expresses her concerns about Hannah riding in cars with boys on a school night. (At least when Drew Barrymore did it, it was entertaining).

Becca and her boyfriend Nick promptly ditch Hannah and Dawn so that they can go to a motel. Really Lifetime, you expect us to believe that a 16 year old boy with a car and no parental supervision would waste money on a motel in order to hook up. I'm afraid that someone has confused real teenagers with characters from 90210.

Dawn and Hannah engage in typical teenage chitchat when one of Nick's friend, Bradley approaches them. He wants Hannah to come his car and listen to music (what no hotel?), Hannah declines and Dawn ditches her to go instead. Some random extras whisper about what a slut Dawn is while Hannah is forced to call her mom for a ride.

The next day, we see Nick ask Hannah out. Nick goes home to his cold, empty mansion and broods while drinking a beer. He later opens his inbox which is overflowing with mail from countless adult websites. Dawn lectures her younger sister about her homework and watches her mom with her latest boyfriend in disgust.

Hannah's mom runs into Dawn's mom and learns that Hannah is going out with Nick that weekend. We see Hannah in her room playing the cello. Her room just screams innocent with tons of books, trophies, and ceramic figurines. No fourteen year old I have ever met has collected ceramic figurines.

In yet another montage, Becca sluts up her appearance in the school bathroom while an upset Dawn goes to the nurse's office. She has a mysterious sore in her mouth, dun, dun, dun. Good god, another freaking montage, Lifetime you're killing me. House party, promiscuous teenagers, wine coolers, joints, etc etc etc. I never ever drank wine coolers when I was a teenager, that sort of thing was mocked even then.

Hannah's bumps into her best friend, Tommy (a.k.a The Smartest Person In This Film). Tommy tries to convince her to leave with him, but Hannah's not budging. Hannah and Nick go back to his fortress of solitude and go hottubbing. He just happens to have some girls' swimsuits lying around, this fails to ring any warning bells for Hannah.

Hannah bumps into Becca after church, Becca is shocked that Nick didn't try anything with her. Back at school, Dawn learns that she has syphilis. Poor Miriam Armstrong, she played a character with gonorrhea on Degrassi. The school nurse asks her how many sexual partners she has had, Dawn tells her about 20.

Hannah and Nick gone on another date, watching movies in his ice palace. He tries to get her to go all the way, but she refuses. They do end up doing everything else though. Hannah goes home and IM's Becca, she is disappointed that it wasn't the romantic experience she thought it would be.

The girls are all at Becca's house where the viewers are treated to an excruciating Bring It On homage. Dawn casually spills the news that she has syphilis. Hannah is understanding but Becca implies that she is a slut, Dawn leaves.

Later Nick, Bradley, Hannah and Becca hang out on the sofa drinking, Becca is bitching about how slutty Dawn is. They go upstairs to watch an adult film, Hannah is disgusted when she realizes that Nick intends for her to hook up with Bradley. She tearfully storms out leaving an eager Becca to entertain both guys.

The school nurse urges Nick to get tested and to name the girls he's been with. A cocky Nick refuses and tells the nurse that he's done almost every girl in school. In order to stop "the largest syphilis cluster in the town's history", they decide to alert anyone who may be at risk. Becca's mom demands to know if she is at risk, Becca lies and says she isn't. Dawn's mother also finds out and she admits it.

Hannah is brushing her teeth when she discovers that she has a sore as well. Hannah's parents hear about what's going on but Hannah says that she's fine. She goes up to her computer and researches syphilis. Gotta love Internet searching in the movies, all the information you need is always on the web link shown. Deadly, open sore, hair loss, and a bunch of pictures that made ma glad that I wasn't eating while watching this.

Hannah and Becca get tested and both have it. Hannah and Dawn later get drunk off wine coolers and discuss sex. Dawn's mother comes home to find Dawn passed out and Hannah getting sick in the bathroom. Hannah's parents take her home and Hannah tells them she has the "Big S"

Hannah's mom goes on the warpath and tries to make the others' parents more aware of their kids' actions. This leads to Hannah being harassed by her fellow students. At a school meeting the parents defend their little darlings while they buy beer and steal porn. Hannah is at home being harassed by online messages. She runs off crying.

Becca learns that she is being sent to a Christian school, Becca promptly sneaks off. Hannah's mom comes home and finds the rude messages on her computer. She learns that there is a party going on at Brad's. Dawn is supposed to be grounded but she sneaks out with Becca.

Hannah is over at Tommy's and they kiss. She tries to push things further but he refuses, an upset Hannah runs off. Becca and Dawn talk about starting over and not being sluts until Becca goes off with a couple of guys. Hannah tries to call Dawn or Becca, but Dawn's grounded and Becca is um occupied.

Hannah winds up at the party where Bradley tells her Becca is downstairs. Once there though he tries to rape her. Nick ineffectually attempts to stop it but Tommy shows up and saves the day. Becca returns home and begins to cry. Dawn and her mom are hanging out ignoring her younger sister who sneaks upstairs to try on Dawn's clothes.

Tommy brings Hannah back to his place and calls her parents. Everybody makes up and they all live sexlessly ever after.

Dead Like Me: Life After Death

This film took a long time to get here but trust me it was worth the wait. Dead Like Me: Life After Death is every bit as funny and quirky as the series that spawned it.

Our merry band of reapers are stunned when their boss Rube finally crosses over. They are assigned to slick business man, Cameron Kane. Under Cameron's tutelage, the gang starts caring less about their destiny's and more about fulfilling their own pleasures.

George is the only one who tries to keep it together but eventually she reveals her identity to her little sister Reggie. As she tries to help Reggie, George realizes that you can't fight destiny, you can only accept it.

The film is just like an episode of the television series. They are great comedic moments, perfectly wrong scenes, and sweet emotional scenes that will make you tear up. Fans of the series will not be disappointed and this movie is guaranteed to attract new fans as well.

Jasmine Guy, Callum Blue, and Ellen Muth reprise their roles from the series. The character of Daisy is played by Sarah Wynter. The original portrayer of Daisy, Laura Harris, could not do the film due to contractual obligations.

The film also stars Lost's Henry Ian Cusick and Degrassi/90210 actress Shenae Grimes.

Poison Ivy 4: The Secret Society

How can one go wrong with a Poison Ivy movie. It's simple add one child actress attempting to abandon her good girl image. Mix with smutty love scenes and a paint by numbers plot and voila cheesy B Grade goodness.

Poison Ivy 4 does not even meet those decidedly slow standards. It is hindered with an unsteady plot and long drawn out scenes that do not enhance the film at all.

The movie stars Degrassi's own Miriam McDonald as Daisy, a small town girl from Iowa who transfers to a prestigious East Coast college. She soon garners the attention of the Ivys, a secret society that virtually owns the school. The head of the society Azalea quickly inducts Daisy into the world of the Ivys. However Daisy soon learns that there is a darker undercurrent to the society.

This movie could have been B movie goodness but it is simply dull. It finally starts to perk up 15 minutes before it ends but it all seems rushed and last minute. Even Poison Ivy 2 looks better in comparison to this mess.

Update: The DVD is due out January 20th and it appears that like Normal Adolescent Behavior the film will feature nudity and more graphic love scenes. Honestly I don't understand the concept of releasing a film on cable where it is heavily edited and then release a DVD afterwards. Being straight to video didn't harm Poison Ivy 3 any and face it no one watches the Poison Ivy movies for it's plot.

The Curse Of Degrassi

This episode was a great idea for a Halloween episode but not a great cast. The episode focuses on Rick Murray returning to Degrassi to seek out a little revenge. He possesses Holly J and then begins stalking the newbies as they try to get the gym ready for a dance.

Rick returning and Spinner finally making amends, good television. Stocking the episodes with a cast who were not part of the show during that initial storyline, pointless. Where were Toby, Jimmy, Sean, Emma, and Terri? They actually had storylines with Rick and would've given the fans of the show a nice blast from the past. It just loses it's impact with the newbie cast.

This episode was at least longer than Degrassi Of The Dead with it's fifteen minutes of show and then a lame 15 minutes behind-the-scenes featurette. Ephraim Ellis who played Rick does not physically appear in this episode, you only hear his voice. I don't know if Ephraim simply could not participate in the episode or if Degrassi didn't want the ghost of Rick to look like he has been getting older in the afterlife. Remember it has been about 4 years since his character was killed off. Actors may age but ghosts cannot.

The show was stolen by actress, Charlotte Arnold, who plays Holly J. She is wonderful and totally owns her role as a girl possessed by a vengeful spirit. My favorite quote from her in this episode was "Why don't you shut your piehole, Mamma Mia. I've telekentically murdered a lot of people tonight. What one more?" And this was uttered when she wasn't possessed.

The episode can be seen on The N.com.

Too Young To Marry

Too Young To Marry is a smart and honest view on the subject of teen marriage. The film centers around Max and Jessica who decide to get married before graduating high school. While Max's mother and Jessica's father disapprove, Jessica's mom is extremely supportive of the two.

Things begin to unravel as Jessica gets accepted into Harvard and Max doesn't. As Jessica becomes more immersed into her collegiate world, Max suffers through a construction job he hates and starts to grow bitter. The couple begin to wonder if they have made a mistake settling down so young.

I like the film because it isn't melodramatic and actually shows both character's flaws. They show how stereotypical some people's views on marriage are. There is no last minute perfectly gift wrapped ending for the couple. Also kudos for not going the obvious route and trying to toss in a teen pregnancy like a lot of teen marriage films do. It shows the girl maturely taking birth control and concentrating on her studies.

Nina Dobrev (who currently plays Mia on Degrassi) shines as Jessica. She brings warmth and believability to the role without turning her into a Mary Sue. The only thing in the film that really does not fit was the character of Jessica's younger sister. Her entire role consisted of showing up randomly, saying something snarky and then vanishing. That might be okay for a medicore sitcom but not a film like this.

South Of Nowhere Cancelled

Yes The N has done it again. In their attempt to push more craptacular fare such as About A Girl, they plan to jettison fan favorite South Of Nowhere. The show has been shafted around a lot lately with delayed premieres and too long gaps between episodes. With some of the actors turning their attention to films it's no shock that they might not want to stay with a show whose own network doesn't give them enough respect. We don't want rehashed moldy oldies like Saved By The Bell or pathetic attempts at wit like the aforementioned About A Girl.

Shows like South of Nowhere and The Best Years were innovative shows with awesome acting and great story lines and now their replaced by mediocre filler material. South of Nowhere in my humble opinion was one of the best representation of teen LGBT characters since Sugar and Spice and deserved to have a shot at more seasons. Instead we got three seasons stingily stretched over a year while The N pimped less deserving shows.

Once the current cast of Degrassi splits the scene next season, I'll no longer have a use for The N. That's probably a good thing as The N no longer has a use for me as a viewer. There is a petition to save the show on SavesSpashely.com for those who want the show to continue.

The final season will commence airing April 11th.

It Could Have Been Better

The Devil's Diary

When are people going to learn that a television movie does not have to be automatically substandard. Devil's Diary could have been a fun little horror film but was absolutely wrecked by too much disgusting special effects and too little plot development. Everything is too rushed with time wasted on characters who really have no place in the movie. The ending is left open for a sequel that I doubt anyone is truly panting for

In this film we meet Ursula and Dominique who are two outcasts who uncover a strange book that grants evil desires. Ursula begins to systematically attack all her tormentors, Dominique attempts to take the book from her before it's too late. Unfortunately one of Ursula's tormentors discovers the book and begins to use it for her own needs.

The cast is okay, Alexz Johnson is pretty enigmatic as Dominque. Degrassi's Deanna Casaluce and Miriam McDonald play against type as evil cheerleaders. And Charmed's Brian Krause plays a priest who helps Dominique in her task.

The film is mediocre at best and not recommended.

Degrassi Of The Dead

I admit I was excited when I first heard about Degrassi's upcoming Halloween special. Being not only a fan of the show, but also a zombie movie enthusiast it was a dream come true. And for a little bit it was.

The plot consists of most of Degrassi turning into zombies after eating genetically modified foods (an inside joke to an older episode) The only survivors are Peter, Jay, Manny, Paige, and Ash who are barricaded inside the school with no one to rescue them. This non-canon episode is fun and a great escape from the usual Degrassi fare.

It would have been a great half hour of fun but instead we only got 15 minutes. And I had to sit through at least 2 of those god awful promos for that insipid About A Girl show. The remaining minutes were occupied by some bland as toast behind the scenes nonsense.

But it still was good fun if you are interested you can watch it in it's entirety on The N.com.