Too Young To Marry is a smart and honest view on the subject of teen marriage. The film centers around Max and Jessica who decide to get married before graduating high school. While Max's mother and Jessica's father disapprove, Jessica's mom is extremely supportive of the two.
Things begin to unravel as Jessica gets accepted into Harvard and Max doesn't. As Jessica becomes more immersed into her collegiate world, Max suffers through a construction job he hates and starts to grow bitter. The couple begin to wonder if they have made a mistake settling down so young.
I like the film because it isn't melodramatic and actually shows both character's flaws. They show how stereotypical some people's views on marriage are. There is no last minute perfectly gift wrapped ending for the couple. Also kudos for not going the obvious route and trying to toss in a teen pregnancy like a lot of teen marriage films do. It shows the girl maturely taking birth control and concentrating on her studies.
Nina Dobrev (who currently plays Mia on Degrassi) shines as Jessica. She brings warmth and believability to the role without turning her into a Mary Sue. The only thing in the film that really does not fit was the character of Jessica's younger sister. Her entire role consisted of showing up randomly, saying something snarky and then vanishing. That might be okay for a medicore sitcom but not a film like this.
Americanizing a Japanese horror film can be a hit or miss situation. For every good film like The Ring you have to suffer through One Missed Call. Pulse in my humble opinion was a great film Kristen Bell and Ian Somerhelder were awesome and it was a nice way to pass time.
Pulse 2 however is an insult, a big middle finger pointed at the masses as they run off with your the money you squandered in order to watch it. The only word that can describe it would be unnecessary.
The plot basically centers around the restless spirit of a woman stalking her ex-husband and daughter. To punish the unfaithful ex, Mommy Deadest intends to take her daughter into the afterlife with her. The ex however plans to fight her at every turn.
Let's start with the "hero" of the film. He seems emotionally stunted at best. In one scene in a small cabin with his traumatized daughter in the next room, his current squeeze wants to fool around. Despite saying no, all it takes is five seconds of body heat before he's ready to toss her on a table and get busy. Let's further traumatize the already traumatized daughter.
Then there was the gore which was nauseating and had no place in the movie. Eye gouging, slain house pets, repulsive sex scenes, none of these enhanced the film and were obviously thrown in for shock value. And did I mention of the ghosts walks around nude, unnecessarily so.
There is some strange side character who swoops in, announces his plans to "end the madness" once and for all. Was he some forgotten character from the first film or a weak link to a Pulse 3 (please god no stop it). He has no point whatsoever which is sad because he was the only tolerable person in this mess.
The ending was abrupt, pointless, and confusing. Rather than defy the odds and create a sequel as good as it's predecessor. It was tossed together in a slapdash effort to score some quick cash. And with straight to DVD sequels becoming popular I see no end to inferior sequels in the near future.
I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer is the saddest, most incoherant, most blatant rip-off of a film that I have ever seen. And that's saying a lot, I've seen Troll 2. In fact that is so bad that I am going to break my rules and spoil the ending. Because if I can stop one person from wasting time with this I'll have made a difference.
In a small Colorado town, some teens decide to play a little joke on the 4th Of July. Unfortunately the joke goes awry and one of their friends winds up dead. The teens immediately make a pact not to reveal their roles in his death and go their separate ways. Sound familiar? Oh yeah it's the freaking plot as I Know What You Did Last Summer only less interesting.
Fast forward time, main heroine feels guilty, people die, everyone's a suspect yadda yadda yadda. Then we finally find out who the killer is. Ben Willis, yes that Ben Willis, our favorite hook-wielding fisherman from the first two installments. What's this film have to do with him? Absolutely nothing.
See now Ben is an evil vengeful spirit whose main hobby is killing teenagers who have covered up their roles in murders. Come on, we could not even get a vague little connection to the previous films. Like the kid who died was Ben's other unknown son. Or how about the heroine was the daughter of the survivors of the film. They could have easily hired actors who look like older versions of Jennifer Love Hewitt and Freddie Prinze Jr. Or have them killed off and pay the actors to allow them to show a photo or something.
Not that making sense of the plot would've helped the film any but it certainly would've been less annoying. Avoid at all costs.
The only interesting thing about this film is that Torrey Devito who played Hot Creepy Nanny Carrie on One Tree Hill stars as one of the teens. And did I mention avoid at all costs?
Dawn: Portait Of A Teenage Runaway is a deliciously cheesy tv movie that stars The Brady Bunch's Eve Plumb and soap star Leigh J. McCloskey. The films centers around the aforementioned Dawn, a 15 year old who runs away from her alcoholic mother and winds up in California.
Due to her age and lack of experience, Dawn quickly winds up sleeping on the streets. She is befriended by Alexander, a teenage hustler who takes her in. Alexander is perfectly willing to take care of Dawn with no strings attached.
However Dawn feels increasingly useless and is desperate to make an income. She meets Frankie Lee, a teenage prostitute who introduces her to Swan, her pimp. Soon Dawn is working the streets and suffers abuse from Swan when she doesn't toe the line.
Alexander becomes worried about Dawn's health and enlists the help of Dawn's parole officer. The two team up to convince Dawn to give up the night life and return home to her now sober mother.
This movie is perfectly cheesy. I love the fact that Dawn becomes a hooker simply because she wants to help support Alexander. Her "bad girl" act is laughable and it doesn't help when she still looks like Jan Brady. The character of Swan is the epitome of the stereotypical pimp but can convincingly be charming one moment and scary the next.
The best part of the film is the character of Frankie Lee played by Marguerite DeLain. Even though the character is only supposed to be 17 but she looks 30. I tried looking up the actresses' age but IMDB does not have it. The movie features a very small role by Anne Ramsay of Throw Momma From The Train and Goonies fame.
The film also features the song "Cherry Bomb" by the Runaways. The Runaways were a '70s all girl rock group that included Joan Jett, Lita Ford and Michelle Steele of The Bangles. The song was also featured in the film Dazed And Confused.
If you have the good fortune to find this film and you are into cheesy teensploitation films then you will love this. The movie also spun off a sequeal called Alexander: The Other Side Of Dawn. I have a request, I honestly didn't like the character of Alexander and this film is hard to find. Can anyone who has seen the film tell me how it ends? I only wanna know if Dawn and Alexander hook up in the end.
All in all, Girl, Positive is a wonderfully scripted and enlightening film. The movie centers around teenager Rachel Sandler (played by Desperate Housewives' Andrea Bowen). Rachel is stunned to learn that she contracted HIV after a one night stand.
As Rachel deals with the news, we also get a glimpse into the life of Sarah Bennet (90210's Jennie Garth). Sarah is a substitute teacher living with HIV and has caught the eye of the school's principal, Tim. She is concerned on how her HIV status will affect this burgeoning relationship.
The movie clears up a lot of misconceptions that people have about HIV, such as only gay people get it or that you tell what a positive person looks like. It also shows just how difficult living with HIV can be and the impact it has on one's every day life.
While the film does start out extremely slow it quickly grabs your attention, the ending was realistic if albeit a little predictable. The film also stars Erik Von Detten and features music from Ryan Huston, an artist I think you should check out.
During the last couple of weeks I have had the opportunity to view three '80s films that I haven't seen in awhile. While the films were still good there were three distinct WTF moments that happened.
Trading Your Girlfriend In For A Newer Model
[Caroline is very drunk] Caroline: Who's he? Jake: That's me. Caroline: Who are you? Jake: I'm him. Caroline: Oh, ok.
While Sixteen Candlesis supposed to be about a girl's family forgetting her sixteenth birthday, it centers mostly on super stud Jake Ryan. For any teenage girl (at least in the '80s) he was the ultimate wet dream. The hunky seemingly perfect senior willing to jettison his hot, perfect, girlfriend for the gawky sophomore in a quest for something more serious. The movie wraps Jake in a pretty little bow and presents him to Molly Ringwald like a gift from the Gods and everything is happy.
Except for one glaring error Jake hands his too drunk to notice current girlfriend off to a geek with no problem. A nerd he has known all of a single day. Before the trade off he callously says "I can get a piece of ass anytime I want. Shit, I've got Caroline in the bedroom right now, passed out cold. I could violate her ten different ways if I wanted to." He then proceeds to say "I want a serious girlfriend. Somebody I can love, that's gonna love me back. Is that psycho?". (No Jake but I get the funny feeling you might be.) Surely there are more than one reason violating a passed out girl would be wrong.
The only thing he says to his new found geek pal is to make sure she gets home and not to leave her in parking lot somewhere. How about "Dude don't take advantage of her" or better yet "What am I saying, I'll let her crash here and break it off with her then". Nope he hands over the keys to his Dad's Rolls Royce and lets them go with nary a thought to her well being.
Later in the film Caroline wakes up in a church parking lot with the geek and is sure she and him had relations. However rather than be furious at what her "boyfriend" and this geek put her through, she likes being with the geek and has a nice break-up with Jake to boot. If any boyfriend of mind had stuck me with a stranger while I was too drunk to comprehend what was going on, he'd be in traction for a long time.
You Tricked Me Into Sleeping With You And It's O.K
Revenge of the Nerds is the ultimate nerd fantasy. The nerd-driven Tri-Lambda house goes head to head with the abusive jock-driven Alpha Betas. In true '80s glory the nerds stand up to their tormentors, win the coveted student council spot, and one of the nerds (Louis) steals the head Alpha's girlfriend (Betty) from him.
How Louis won Betty is highly questionable. At the big carnival Betty wants boyfriend Stan to go off and fool around with her. Stan who is happily manning the kissing booth refuses. Betty goes off to sulk in this weird moon setup, Louis grabs Stan's abandoned Darth Vader costume and follows. Betty assumes Stan had a change of heart and nails him without Louis identifying himself or even removing said mask.
Betty is stunned to find out that she has slept with a nerd but since nerds are good in the sack and jocks are not, she's totally cool with this near rape experience. The couple will later turn up in the sequels happily married. Again if it were me, traction, 'nuff said.
Intergalactic Bestiality
Unlike the two aforementioned mentions there is nothing truly right about Howard The Duck. The only good thing I remember aside from the unbelievably catchy title song......
was this cool little Pez dispenser that my Mom got me. It lasted until I cadged the cigar from Howard's beak and gave it to my Ken doll. Yes kiddies we had Pez dispensers with cigars, we also had candy cigarettes which I miss, but that's a whole other rant, moving on.
Howard is an alien duck who is suddenly plucked from his planet and thrown into 1980s Cleveland. He meets meets up with punk rocker Beverly and has to battle evil overlords in order to try to get home. However getting home will ultimately destroy Earth so Howard makes the ultimate sacrifice and stays put. But at least he has Beverly who has no qualms about macking with a duck. Because apparently it isn't bestiality if he's from another planet. I beg to differ I would end this with if it happened to me but I won't. Because I would never date a duck.
