Hunger Point

I would like to thank Lifetime Wow for alerting me to this film's awesomely bad existence.

We open with our main character Frannie as a child being lectured on the evils of being fat by her mother, Marsha. Her mother is played by Barbara Hershey who has seen better days. In my humble opinion she looks the Joker's love child.

Later at dinner, Marsha tears the skin off Frannie's chicken citing that it's fattening. Frannie's younger skinnier sister, Shelley insists that she needs to be on a diet as well. Marsha promptly tears the skin off her other daughter's chicken as well.

We flash forward to an older, Frannie who has severe eating issues. Shelley is equally messed up and is played by Susan May Pratt. Susan is no stranger to playing someone with an eating disorder, she played Maureen in Center Stage.

Frannie catches Shelley binging and purging and looks worried. Frannie becomes dissatisfied with her paltry meal of veggies and cottage cheese and binges as well. Shelley hospitalizes herself against her mother's wishes.

Frannie and her mom visit Shelley who sarcastically gives them a tour of the place, citing all the various eating disorders people have. After Marsha leaves, Shelley cries and worries that she has ruined her life. She goes off to get her meds and freaks out again when she catches her mother and sister discussing her.

Frannie who was laid off from her job is forced by Marsha to answer phones in her office. Frannie finds a marriage counselor's card in her mom's desk and realizes that her mom is flirting with a co-worker. She also flirts with the free sample guy at the supermarket much to her daughter's dismay. I guess no one ever told Marsha that you didn't have to put out for free samples. Then we are subjected to an awkward scene of them having a tug of war over a carton of ice cream.

Frannie has gotten a new job as a waitress and apparently has been sleeping her way through the staff. She begs her best friend, Abbie to accompany her to visit Shelley. A cute doctor tells her she has a real purdy mouth. Actually he used the word intriguing, but I like my version better.

Rather than tend to her depressed sister, she goes off to flirt with some more with the doctor. Shelley cries so hard that she has a panic attack. Frannie overhears her mom talking to her lover on the phone. She also tells him that Frannie can't take care of herself. Frannie tries to get her father to visit Shelley but he claims that he is too busy. Frannie's father is played by the same actor who played Gus in Don't Tell Mom The Babysitters Dead.

During the visit, Frannie realizes that her mom lied about Shelley filling out her Harvard application and confronts her about it. Her mother avoids the subject and Frannie tells her that she refuses to work for her anymore.

At her waitress job Frannie daydreams about the doctor. One of the co-workers she nailed licks her on the face and she is disgusted. Personally I'd be disgusted too, what kind of guy randomly licks people and at work no less. At the end of her shift, she pours wine on a rude customer's lap. She then tells his mistress to just let his wife have him.

When she gets home she finds a message for her father. Marsha's alleged lover's wife wants to have a talk with him. Frannie calls the woman instead and tells her to leave him alone. It turns out that the woman was simply ordering t-shirts from her father. Her mother insists that she is not having an affair.

Shelley is getting worse, her hair is falling out and she's cutting herself. Frannie calls the cute doctor who doesn't remember her or her sister. She has an outing with Shelley at a local diner, Shelley orders a salad that she obsessively cuts up. Some boys mock her but Frannie stares them down. Shelley later decides to leave the hospital and get her own place.

Frannie has a good interview with an ad agency and goes to the hospital to celebrate. Yes, celebrate, by blasting loud music and dancing in a mental hospital. The other patients join in the dancing and start singing. Even the nurse is dancing. But Frannie celebrated prematurely she didn't get the job.

Shelley leaves the hospital but show no signs of improvement. During an awkward family dinner, the girls' father finally stands up to their mother. This leads to an argument between the family. An upset Shelley overdoses on her meds. The pills didn't kill her though, it was the anorexia that did it. So I've learned that you can survive overdosing or being hit by a car as long as you don't have an eating disorder.

After the funeral Frannie learns that her mom wasn't having an affair with her co-worker, she was having an affair with her boss. While going through Shelley's stuff she finds a list of pro ana sites. She confronts her mom about the affair (again) and her mother tells her she's moving out.

Frannie talks to Shelley's friends and realizes that there are dozens of pro ana sites out there. She goes to see Shelley's shrink who tries to help her but she storms off. Frannie's friend tries to get her to go out but she refuses. She throws her dinner down the garbage disposal.

At the market, Frannie's father breaks down over Shelley's death. He walks in on Frannie purging and orders her to just stop it. She tries to get through to her mother who refuses to talk about Shelley. Frannie begins volunteering at her grandfather's retirement home. She meets Charlie, the grandson of one of the retirees. It's hate at first site which in a Lifetime movie always leads to true love.

Frannie gets freaked out when her father starts dating again and accepts a date with Charlie. They grow closer. It turns out the mistress of the rude customer wants to offer her a job in restaurant marketing. Her mother insists that she take the job. She finally breaks down about Shelley's death. Frannie promises her mother that nothing will happen to her.

So the movie ends with Frannie getting a dream job, dream guy, and even her parents get back together. Oh and her eating disorder vanishes without the need for therapy. And a zombie Shelley comes back to life and they all sing Kumbaya.

Ahh Lifetime, sometimes I hate you.


Next up: The film version of Flowers In The Attic.

Casualties of Love: The Long Island Lolita Story

Now this film will not get the play by play that I reserve for Lifetime movies. This movie was so bad that I found myself fast forwarding through a large portion of this.

In 1993, it was all about Amy Fisher. The story of a teenage girl allegedly shooting her lover's wife per his request captivated the tabloid nation. And the television movie world as well. ABC, NBC, and CBS all aired their own versions of the so called Lethal Lolita dramedy.

This one is CBS' offering and seems to be the Buttafucco's version of the events. This agonizing dull film paints the Buttafucco's as a perfect family torn apart by an obsessed teen. Joey is innocent the films screams loudly over and over.

This film is dull and melodramatic. While they did well casting Joey and Mary Jo, casting Alyssa Milano is way, way, way off. Not only does she not look a thing like Amy Fisher, she didn't make an attempt to look like her. All she does is bounce around in tight jeans and a fake Jersey accent and look embarrassed doing so. Drew Barrymore played Amy in the ABC version. She also didn't look like Amy but at least she tried.

The ending is laughable at best. Evil Amy is convicted as the vindicated Buttafucco's look on. Joey does not get busted for stat rape and he and Mary Jo embrace and live happily ever after.

Avoid this one. If you simply must watch a Amy Fisher movie then watch Amy Fisher: My Story. It isn't as smutty as Drew's or as blatantly boring as this one.

Bonnie & Clyde: The True Story

I have been a Bonnie and Clyde fanatic since I was nine. It was quite a surprise to me that somehow I missed this movie when it came out in '92.

Bonnie & Clyde impressed me with staying accurate to what really transpired between the bank robbing duo. It mentions Bonnie's first marriage and the car fire that nearly killed her. Things that were generally glossed over in other Bonnie and Clyde films. The film takes it's time with story, it simply doesn't throw the two together and instantly have them robbing banks. It also doesn't shy away from the fact that yes, Bonnie and Clyde did kill a lot of people, several of them cops.

The casting however is another story, Dana Ashbrook is too much of a pretty boy to make a convincing Clyde. To make matters worse he bears a striking resemblance to Zack from Saved by the Bell, which didn't help matters any. Tracy Needham who plays Bonnie didn't really jump off the screen. No matter how intense the scenes were, she remained bland and unconvincing.

Doug Savant plays a sheriff that was once a friend of B&C's who is now forced to pursue the felonious duo. I loved him in Melrose Place and Desperate Housewives but in this film he is just boring and has no real point in the story.

The film gets major points for the portrayal of Clyde's sister in law, Blanche Barrows. In the '67 film, Bonnie and Clyde, she was inaccurately portrayed as a hysterical fishwife constantly making trouble. She was also portrayed as having cooperated with the cops, which in real life never happened. This Blanche Barrows is more humanized and treated with a little more respect than the previous film had.

If you can look past the miscasting, this is a fairly decent television movie with a kind of Lifetime feel to it. Also it is a good recommendation for people wanting to know more about Bonnie and Clyde.

If you could rewrite any piece of fiction, what would it be and why?

My choice would be The Breakfast Club. Don't get me wrong, I love this movie and have seen it many times. Still the ending has always ticked me off.

The whole underlying theme of the film is self-acceptance. The film tells us that you don't have to what your friends and family want you to be. Be yourself, the film screams at us from every corner.

So how does this movie end? They take the cool freaky fringe chick, Allison (Ally Sheedy) and change her. The popular girl gives her some clothes and a preppie makeover and throw her into the arms of the jock character. A character who showed little attraction to her until she starts looking like everyone else.

What would have been so wrong about the jock accepting her as she was and celebrating it? The ending strikes me as something the studio wrangled together for a happier, more conventional ending

Endless Love

It wasn't until I was 16, that I discovered that Endless Love was more than just a cheesy pop ballad. It was a cheestastic '80s film based on a rather disturbing novel by Scott Spencer. Anyone who is planning on reading this book be warned, some scenes especially the love scenes are rather detailed.

For such a bad film, it boasts a surprising case of stars. Brooke Shields, James Spader, Tom Cruise, Ian Zeiring, and Jami Gertz. It is directed by Franco Zeffrelli who directed 1967's Romeo and Juliet.

The film opens with young lovers Jade and David walking inside a human heart. Well, actually a replica of a human heart inside a museum. We later see them cuddling in the planetarium, Jade asks David what he would do if she died. He'd die too is his answer.

A teacher spots David and tells him to get lost, it turns out David crashed a school field trip in order to be with Jade. That evening, David clad in his father's tuxedo shows up for dinner at Jade's house. While David's socialist parents ignore him, Jade's family welcomes him with open arms.

Jade's parents are your typical laid back '80s parents, they allow the kids to do whatever they want. Some friends of Jade's older brother Keith (Spader) show up unannounced with booze and musical instruments. They are welcomed with open arms.

This is Ian Ziering who would later play Steve Saunders on 90210.

David and Jade are fooling around upstairs and are caught by Keith who is less than happy with his sister. David is touched when Jade refers to him as family. Meanwhile the college kids are lighting up and having a grand old time. Jade's parents jam and smoke weed right along with them.

Things quiet down as Keith's girlfriend sings (what else) Endless Love. David makes eyes at Jade while she sits on her father's lap. Eventually Jade remembers that she's supposed to be dating David and slowly, insufferably slowly, goes to him.

David pretends to leave after the party, but sneaks back in. Meanwhile Jade's mom passes up sex with her drunken husband in order to read Russian literature. (Are there any scenes in this film that have a point?)

Jade slinks on down to David while an even more insipid instrumental version of Endless Love plays. (Twenty minutes into the film and this is third time we've heard this song.) Jade and David proceed to make sweet love down by the fire.....place. Jade's mother actually stands there and watches them go at it. (Ewwww!)

David goes duck hunting with Keith and Jade's father, Hugh. David tries to buddy up with Keith who then delivers on of the best lines in the film "Just because you're f***ing my sister doesn't make you family." Back at the house Hugh catches David naked in Jade's bedroom. Jade is totally nonchalant about it, but David freaks out.

Hugh is also freaking out but Ann, Jade's mother, tells that it's his fault for being so open and permissive. He wants to know how she manages to sleep or study with David around all the time. Jade begins to fall asleep in class.

We rehash the same old scenes, Keith hates David, Jade and David make love, Endless Love plays for the fourth and fifth time. After an extremely awkward love scene, Jade begs David to let her sleep but he can't leave her.

Jade is caught stealing her Hugh's sleeping pills and becomes hysterical, crying about not getting any sleep. Hugh tells David that he doesn't want him seeing Jade for a month. David refuses to go and demands to talk to Jade. Ann convinces him to agree to Hugh's demands.



David overhears Keith say that Jade broke up with him. One of his friends (Tom Cruise) suggests setting a small fire outside their house and then put it out thus becoming a hero. David sits in his room blaring Kiss' I Was Made For Lovin' You and staring at Jade's photo.

To the strains of Blondie's Heart of Glass, David stalks down the street to Jade's house. (Why did this film torture us with Endless Love when it could have been rocking the disco the whole time?) There is a party going on at Jade's house and a devastated David sees her talking to another guy. He tries to call Jade from a pay phone but no one will answer.

Of course the only way to get your girlfriend's parent to accept you is to set a small fire outside their house. The fire of course quickly burns out of control and David is unable to put it out. He manages to wake up everyone and get them out (In the book the whole family was high on LSD when the fire started.) Keith knocks out David and Hugh is forced to carry him from the burning building. Inappropriately during the fire scenes another instrumental version of Endless Love plays.

David is convicted of arson, he is sent to a psychiatric hospital and banned from ever contacting Jade or her family. David is haunted by visions of Jade and sends multiple letters to her, never receiving an answer. He doesn't know that the letters are being confiscated by his doctor.

David begs his parents to get him released and they stupidly agree. He's free but still not allowed to contact Jade or even leave town. Jade and her family have moved to New York and David's dad encourages him to forget her. He then drops the bomb that he is in love with another woman and has left David's mom.

Hugh learns that David has been released and is furious. He threatens to kill David if he ever comes near him and his family. David promptly leaves for New York and tracks down Ann. Ann is less than enthused to see him. She and Hugh have divorced in the two years after the fire.

They go out to dinner and then back to her place. She recounts the time that she saw Jade and David making love. Apparently it was a life changing event for her. She admits that she made love to her husband that night and imagined it was him (Double ewwwww). She comes on to him but he pushes her away. He can't make love to anyone but Jade.

He finds out that Jade is now in Vermont and decides to board a bus later that afternoon. As he walks down the street, he is spotted by Hugh. He chases after him but is struck by a taxi cab. David is too upset to catch the bus and goes back to Ann's apartment. Keith is there and he tells David that Jade hates him. Ann begs them to stop fighting.

Ann offers to arrange a meeting for him and Jade but he refuses. He hands her a stack of letters he never got to mail. He spies Jade getting on the elevator but doesn't go after her. David's parents worry when he doesn't return home.

Jade meets David at a hotel room and you'll never guess in a million years what song starts playing. She admits to reading all the letters and worries that she ruined his life. She begs David to let her go. She tries to leave, he throws her on the bed, and then she admits that she still loves him. Sorry, that is not love that is dysfunction. They indulge in yet another awkward love scene.

The next morning, Keith calls the room and asks them to come down to the lobby. Apparently Hugh's girlfriend thinks she remembers him being at the scene of the accident. David admits the truth to a horrified Jade. The guy burnt down her house, she should know that sanity has nothing to do with her love for her. Keith beats him up and the cops take him away.

The movie ends with Jade visiting David in the mental hospital and the song Endless Love rears it's ugly head one last time.

Next Up: How can Mariah Carey screw up a movie about Mariah Carey. You'll find out in Glitter.

The Resurrection Of The BlogRoll

Awhile ago I was a member of a blog roll type group. After awhile the blogroll kind of faded away and I was bummed. To my happy surprise the blogroll was resurrected. Here are two of the assignments.



Topic 1#:
What's the farthest you have traveled for food? Did you fly across the country just so you could have the perfect bowl of clam chowder? Did you cross the state line just for a scoop of ice cream? What was it, how far did you travel, and was it worth it?

I didn't specifically travel anywhere special for food, but there's one place I would go back to if I could. A few years ago I took a Greyhound from Seattle Wa to Winnipeg, Canada. En route we stopped at a bus terminal in Regina, and I bought a tuna salad sandwich that was just awesome. I adored it so on the trip back I ended up buying two more to enjoy.

To this day I have never tasted a tuna salad sandwich that was that amazing.

Topic 2#:

Write about what you eat when you're alone. Is it any different from what you eat when you have friends over, or even when you're eating with your s/o or kids? Why is that?

Foods I like to eat alone are what I dub "messy foods." Cheetos, hot wings, barbecue, anything that you can't pick up without getting it on your fingers. I can't eat messy foods in public. I worry that I will spill it on my clothes or get it all over my face.

When I am alone I don't worry about being a little messy, it's in fact even more enjoyable when I am relaxed.

A Secret Between Friends a.k.a When Friendship Kills

I realize this movie was filmed in Seattle so I'll likely spend most of it looking for familiar landmarks. Amidst a beach party, some teens remark on how wild and out of control a girl named Jennifer is acting. (Filmed in my old hometown and featuring a character with my first name I'm in love.)

The other teens try to get her to eat, Jennifer flips out over her friend Lexie being there and accuses her of spying on her. It's later in the evening and Jennifer is even drunker than ever, Lexie takes this moment to apologize to her. Jennifer tells her that she hates her and runs straight into the path of a car.

It is now a year earlier we learn that Lexie has just moved from Chicago to Seattle and hates it. Lexie's mom (the fabulous Lynda Carter a.k.a Wonder Woman) assures Lexie and her little sister that everything will be alright.

At volleyball tryouts, Lexie meets Jennifer a typical Lifetime movie teenager. You know, pretty, smart, talented, doomed. The two become bff's and Lexie is likely issued a friendship bracelet and a mandatory eating disorder. (By the way, all these volleyball scenes are giving me vivid flashbacks to the nightmare known as high school gym.)

Lexie spends the night at Jennifer's house, Jennifer has a micromanaging mom and a boring obsession with a french actress from the '70s. The two stuff their faces with junk food,Jennifer promptly throws it all up and makes Lexie promise not to tell.

For some reason we get to see a shopping montage. (Red vinyl, faux leopard skins, and berets! Oh my!) Lexie and Jennifer decide they are fat and start dieting and intensively exercising. She begins to lose weight and starts getting noticed by the boys. This gives Lexie more incentive to lose even more weight.


Recognize this cutie? That's Ryan Reynolds playing Lexie's love interest.


Lexie and her sister go to visit her father for Thanksgiving. (The dad is played by Josh Taylor known for playing Dylan McKay's father on 90210 and Roman Brady on Days.) Lexie, who is hoping her parents will reunite is disgusted to learn that he has a new girlfriend.

Lexie is brushing her hair and realizes that her hair is falling out. Her mother busts in on her looking for a tampon. Lexie doesn't have any and the mom complains that she didn't have any last month either. This scene is supposed to illustrate that she stopped having her period. (For me, it illustrates that Wonder Woman is far to busy fighting crime to buy her own.)

Lexie's mother takes her to a gynecologist and wonders if Lexie has an eating disorder. The clueless gynecologist blames the missed periods on stress over the divorce. Jen is approached by a photographer (Lochlyn Munro) who thinks she could be a model. When he declares that Lexie is not model material, Jen refuses to have the pictures done.

After Lexie faints during a volleyball game, she is diagnosed with anorexia. She is sent to a clinic where she is encouraged to start eating again. In a rather disturbing scene, the clinic resorts to force feeding Lexie much to her mother's dismay. She learns that Lexie's dad authorized the forced feeding and the two argue.

Jen visits Lexie at the clinic, Lexie urges Jen to seek help but she refuses. Lexie confides in her mother who tries to get through to Jen's mom. An angry Jen refuses to talk to Lexie. Lexie blows off therapy for the aforementioned beach party. We end up seeing the exact same scenes that we saw at the beginning of the film. Jen dies not because she was struck by a car but because her heart was weak.

Depressed and feeling guilty, Lexie begins starving herself again. Lexi's mom tries to take her back to the clinic but Lexie talks her out of it. Lexie's mom takes time off of work and tries to get her to eat again. While jogging, Lexie faints again but her mom still doesn't take her to the clinic.

Lexie's dad shows up and argues with his ex-wife. He gets a court order to send her back to the hospital. Lexie packs her things and tries to run away but breaks down at the front door. She starts to eat again, and convinces her dad not to send her away.

At her triumphant return to the world of volleyball, Lexi sees Jen sitting in the bleachers, giving her a thumbs up. (I wish I was making this up.) She wins the meet and a bastardized Rocky theme fills the air. The world makes sense again.

Next up....

What do James Spader, Brooke Shields, Tom Cruise and a raging house fire have in common? You'll find on in the 1981 "tearjerker" Endless Love.